About a week and a half after I interviewed with Saint Cloud Hospital, they informed me that the position had been filled. At first I was a bit disappointed, but in the days and weeks that followed I am learning to be thankful for the opportunities I do have to work and minister, and not focus so much on the closed doors. My volunteer ministry work with Christian Student Fellowship is beginning to take shape and my work with St. John’s and St. Joe’s is continuing. Also, my Ordination Council is all set for Friday, September 14th at Calvary. Please keep me in prayer as I continue to serve God in the venues He has set before me. Thank you!
In addition, plans for my birthday celebration are coming together quickly now. The party itself is set for Wednesday, September 12th from 6-10 pm. Those coming are asked to bring their own food and beverage, as well as a group game to share, if they like. I am open to hanging out with people throughout that day and week to celebrate my birthday if they are unable to make it to the party. So, anyone in town, feel free to come on down and celebrate God’s work in and through me for another year!
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Saturday, July 28, 2007
Meaningful Words (7/28/07)
In light of the changes in my ministry and spiritual life, I share the following poetic thoughts:
I am very grateful for each of you joining me as I share my life and ministry with you in the fashion. When I was preparing to send out the party invitations, I was amazed at just how many people still receive this newsletter. Of course I know many of you may not even read it on a regular basis, but still I find it encouraging knowing at least some of you do. I do pray that God speaks to you through this sharing of His work in and through me. Jesus prayed for you and me during that dark night in Gethsemane and I echo his prayer today: “My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me. "Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world. "Righteous Father, though the world does not know you, I know you, and they know that you have sent me. I have made you known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them” (John 17:20-26).
Hate Sin, Love Sinner
She stares at me through the lenses of her half-priced glasses
All I feel wells up inside me in love,
Yet her lifestyle is of sin
Still He calls me to let her in,
Into my heart, into my world.
Though she has a different companion every night,
Still He calls me to love her with all my might.
(Chorus)
Hate the sin but love the sinner,
That’s what we all should do.
Love the sinner, but hate the sin,
Is what He calls us to do.
He sits in a jailhouse apartment.
A cell which has no windows.
Steel bars his only companions.
He’s on deathrow for his past,
Yet a Bible sits by his side.
(Chorus)
They lie in their beds
Both terminally waiting to be dead,
Without a hope for anything,
Yet I stand at their side knowing the Hope for everything.
They had joined in ways not meant to be,
But He calls me to love them as I do me,
And as their minds fill with anguish and sorrow for their sin,
I hear Him again, “Let them in.”
(Chorus)
I could go on for verse after verse,
And still not totally converse,
That which He has placed in my heart,
And which I, in prayer, must start.
We must love the sinner, but hate the sin.
(Chorus)
Remember, my friends, what ever else you may forget.
What ever else you do and may live to regret.
Though sin is from Satan,
The sinner is a child of God
The sinner is a child of God.
(Chorus).
There is a White
There is a white for this black of ours.
It will show itself in its hour,
But we who hold it in our hearts,
No ray of dark can penetrate our parts.
But what of this light?
What use is it, if it cannot shine bright!
Too often we turn away its source.
We take out our swords,
Made by the hand of Satan,
And slash it into oblivion.
But this light cannot die.
It cannot be swept away.
There are those who have claimed it
And the light lives on in them.
The light has a place in all of our hearts.
Every single one must play its part.
Through them this world will change.
Through them it will exchange
Its darkness for the EVERLASTING LIGHT!
A-men
She stares at me through the lenses of her half-priced glasses
All I feel wells up inside me in love,
Yet her lifestyle is of sin
Still He calls me to let her in,
Into my heart, into my world.
Though she has a different companion every night,
Still He calls me to love her with all my might.
(Chorus)
Hate the sin but love the sinner,
That’s what we all should do.
Love the sinner, but hate the sin,
Is what He calls us to do.
He sits in a jailhouse apartment.
A cell which has no windows.
Steel bars his only companions.
He’s on deathrow for his past,
Yet a Bible sits by his side.
(Chorus)
They lie in their beds
Both terminally waiting to be dead,
Without a hope for anything,
Yet I stand at their side knowing the Hope for everything.
They had joined in ways not meant to be,
But He calls me to love them as I do me,
And as their minds fill with anguish and sorrow for their sin,
I hear Him again, “Let them in.”
(Chorus)
I could go on for verse after verse,
And still not totally converse,
That which He has placed in my heart,
And which I, in prayer, must start.
We must love the sinner, but hate the sin.
(Chorus)
Remember, my friends, what ever else you may forget.
What ever else you do and may live to regret.
Though sin is from Satan,
The sinner is a child of God
The sinner is a child of God.
(Chorus).
There is a White
There is a white for this black of ours.
It will show itself in its hour,
But we who hold it in our hearts,
No ray of dark can penetrate our parts.
But what of this light?
What use is it, if it cannot shine bright!
Too often we turn away its source.
We take out our swords,
Made by the hand of Satan,
And slash it into oblivion.
But this light cannot die.
It cannot be swept away.
There are those who have claimed it
And the light lives on in them.
The light has a place in all of our hearts.
Every single one must play its part.
Through them this world will change.
Through them it will exchange
Its darkness for the EVERLASTING LIGHT!
A-men
I am very grateful for each of you joining me as I share my life and ministry with you in the fashion. When I was preparing to send out the party invitations, I was amazed at just how many people still receive this newsletter. Of course I know many of you may not even read it on a regular basis, but still I find it encouraging knowing at least some of you do. I do pray that God speaks to you through this sharing of His work in and through me. Jesus prayed for you and me during that dark night in Gethsemane and I echo his prayer today: “My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me. "Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world. "Righteous Father, though the world does not know you, I know you, and they know that you have sent me. I have made you known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them” (John 17:20-26).
Sharing My Life (7/28/07): Sharing God’s love
As I make my rounds as a chaplain, one of the most common comments against Christians that I hear is that most of us are hypocritical jerks. We certainly know how to talk the talk, but few of us really know what it means to walk the walk. Normally I just brush such comments off thinking that these people obviously don’t know the same Christians I do, but lately I’ve been thinking that they might not be that far off. When I see someone living in sin, my gut reaction is to judge first and act mercifully later, yet Jesus calls us to a higher standard as Paul indicates in Romans: “Let love be genuine; hate what is evil, hold fast to what is good; love one another with mutual affection; outdo one another in showing honor” (Romans 12:9-10). This means we, as followers of Christ, must show our love for each other and the world both in what we say and what we do. We must not only speak with love, truth and justice, we must also act in loving, true and just ways. Otherwise, our words will be lost amidst the volume of our actions. As Micah once said,
“He has showed you, O man, what is good.
And what does the LORD require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God” (Micah 6:8).
And what does the LORD require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God” (Micah 6:8).
Life Update (7/28/07): Should I stay or should I go now?
I originally started volunteering at St. Joseph’s Chemical Dependency Department in an effort to gain more experience in that field and cultivate some more long-term care relationships. Unfortunately I found that their program has a pretty high patient turnout rate and most don’t stay there more than a week or so. That’s hardly enough time for me to invest in their lives in a helping fashion. So, I started looking for other ways to pursue those needs and found that Christian Student Fellowship, which I was already involved with through their Evensong Worship Community and Together Groups, was more than willing to let me become more involved with them! Then, just last Friday, St. Cloud Hospital called saying they would like to interview me for a full-time chaplain position! Two great ministry opportunities came my way within one week. Unfortunately, I cannot pursue both, so right now I’m planning on doing the interview this Friday (8/3) and seeing what happens from there. If the position fits, I am willing to move again, but if it does not, at least I have got good plans for this coming year here.
In addition, most of you should have received invitations to my 32nd Birthday Bash. If not, just send me an email and I will gladly send one off to you. It’s currently scheduled for Wednesday, September 12th at my place. The precise time and other details are still being worked out, so reply soon if you wish to stay informed ;-)
In addition, most of you should have received invitations to my 32nd Birthday Bash. If not, just send me an email and I will gladly send one off to you. It’s currently scheduled for Wednesday, September 12th at my place. The precise time and other details are still being worked out, so reply soon if you wish to stay informed ;-)
Sunday, July 08, 2007
Mike's 32nd Birthday Bash!!!
Each birthday happens only once a lifetimes ;-)
My birthday is coming up in September and I'm starting to plan it a few months out this year, so I can let the party be a bit organic. As people reply with their availability and interest level, we'll work out the details . . . So far the date is set for September 12th, 2007 at my place. Reply by email for more details or check out the Event pages on Facebook and MySpace.
My birthday is coming up in September and I'm starting to plan it a few months out this year, so I can let the party be a bit organic. As people reply with their availability and interest level, we'll work out the details . . . So far the date is set for September 12th, 2007 at my place. Reply by email for more details or check out the Event pages on Facebook and MySpace.
Saturday, June 30, 2007
Meaningful Words (6/30/07)
Continuing to think along those lines reminds of me a few poems I wrote:
Thank you for joining me once again as I share my life and ministry with you in the fashion. I pray God spoke to you through this sharing of His work in and through me. As Paul said to his church in Philippi: “I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” (Philippians 1:3-6).
Forgiven
The Father:
I have already forgiven your sin.
Why do you bring it before Me again?
I have already washed you clean.
Why do you insist on playing in the dirt?
Accept My forgiveness.
Receive My cleansing.
Why do you cling to that which I have already released you from?
Why do you remain in the dungeon?
The chains have already been broken and the key thrown away.
The gates of iron have been flung wide open
And yet still you cower in this cage of your own making
The light has been shown forth
Yet you prefer the darkness
What more can I do for you, My child?
How else can I bid you come?
The table has already been set and the dinner bell is ringing
Is it possible you have not heard Me calling?
Answer Me and I will give you the desires of your heart.
I am your Father and have always been faithful.
Is this not the truth?
Listen to your heart, My child.
You know Who I am.
You have always known.
His child:
Come unto me, O Desire of my heart!
Beckon me unto Your Feast, O Satisfier of my deepest hunger!
Dance with Me, O Romancer of my soul!
Set me beside the still waters, O Author of my peace!
Run with me, O my Ever True Companion
Guide my steps, O Victorious Winner of the race set before me!
You Who began this good work in me,
You are my Faithful Father
And You will finish what You have started!
Yes, You will finish what you have started!
Let Go
The Father:
I invite you, My child, to let go.
Let go of your need to worry,
for it really does you no good.
Let go of your need to control,
for you really have none.
Let go of your need for a plan,
for I am all you really ever need!
I invite you, My child, to let Me in.
Let Me into your concerns,
for I can bear your load.
Let Me into your life,
for I do know what I am doing.
Let Me into your heart,
for I am the One you were created for.
I invite you, My child,
to know the truth.
Know that I care for you and I will see to your needs.
Know that I am taking care of them even now.
Know that I am Your Faithful Father.
His child:
Lord, help me to trust when I don’t want to trust
Lord, help me to love when I don’t want to love
Lord, help to give, when I don’t want to give
To give my life to You.
For You, O Lord, are the Lover of my soul
And You, O Lord, are faithful
Yes, You O Lord, will watch over me
And care for me better than I ever could.
I end, You begin
God, I’m tired, I’m through, I can’t do anymore
Since when did this life become such a chore?
My body is weary, my spirits are low
Why does it seem what I reap is far from what I sow?
Everything in me says go on and die
Yet deep inside me, there You still lie.
You say, it’s good I’m tired, it’s good I’m through, It’s good I can’t do anymore.
Now the real work begins, now I can really soar.
If I am at my end, that means I must turn to You again
Let Your Spirit refresh me, and Your blood wash me clean
For when I end, then You truly do begin
The Father:
I have already forgiven your sin.
Why do you bring it before Me again?
I have already washed you clean.
Why do you insist on playing in the dirt?
Accept My forgiveness.
Receive My cleansing.
Why do you cling to that which I have already released you from?
Why do you remain in the dungeon?
The chains have already been broken and the key thrown away.
The gates of iron have been flung wide open
And yet still you cower in this cage of your own making
The light has been shown forth
Yet you prefer the darkness
What more can I do for you, My child?
How else can I bid you come?
The table has already been set and the dinner bell is ringing
Is it possible you have not heard Me calling?
Answer Me and I will give you the desires of your heart.
I am your Father and have always been faithful.
Is this not the truth?
Listen to your heart, My child.
You know Who I am.
You have always known.
His child:
Come unto me, O Desire of my heart!
Beckon me unto Your Feast, O Satisfier of my deepest hunger!
Dance with Me, O Romancer of my soul!
Set me beside the still waters, O Author of my peace!
Run with me, O my Ever True Companion
Guide my steps, O Victorious Winner of the race set before me!
You Who began this good work in me,
You are my Faithful Father
And You will finish what You have started!
Yes, You will finish what you have started!
Let Go
The Father:
I invite you, My child, to let go.
Let go of your need to worry,
for it really does you no good.
Let go of your need to control,
for you really have none.
Let go of your need for a plan,
for I am all you really ever need!
I invite you, My child, to let Me in.
Let Me into your concerns,
for I can bear your load.
Let Me into your life,
for I do know what I am doing.
Let Me into your heart,
for I am the One you were created for.
I invite you, My child,
to know the truth.
Know that I care for you and I will see to your needs.
Know that I am taking care of them even now.
Know that I am Your Faithful Father.
His child:
Lord, help me to trust when I don’t want to trust
Lord, help me to love when I don’t want to love
Lord, help to give, when I don’t want to give
To give my life to You.
For You, O Lord, are the Lover of my soul
And You, O Lord, are faithful
Yes, You O Lord, will watch over me
And care for me better than I ever could.
I end, You begin
God, I’m tired, I’m through, I can’t do anymore
Since when did this life become such a chore?
My body is weary, my spirits are low
Why does it seem what I reap is far from what I sow?
Everything in me says go on and die
Yet deep inside me, there You still lie.
You say, it’s good I’m tired, it’s good I’m through, It’s good I can’t do anymore.
Now the real work begins, now I can really soar.
If I am at my end, that means I must turn to You again
Let Your Spirit refresh me, and Your blood wash me clean
For when I end, then You truly do begin
Thank you for joining me once again as I share my life and ministry with you in the fashion. I pray God spoke to you through this sharing of His work in and through me. As Paul said to his church in Philippi: “I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” (Philippians 1:3-6).
Sharing My Life (6/30/07): Going Biking with God
Speaking of bumpy rides, I was sharing my career and life journey with a friend of mine and he shared a little story from The Twelve Step Prayer Book where our relationship with God is likened to riding a tandem bike with Him up front. The road isn’t always straight and narrow and God definitely has a habit of taking both long ands short cuts. Yet through it all, He stays faithful. There have definitely been sometimes where my faith has felt a bit rocky, but through it all, He has held me firm and I know He will continue to guide me true. I’m posting the entire story on my blog, so you can snag a look at it there.
Thinking along those lines reminds me of a sermon that I heard at Evensong. It’s an Sunday evening service put on by Christian Student Fellowship, a college ministry, at Calvary. Anyway, the pastor there was speaking on walking in sync with God and likened it to being yoked with Jesus, like in Matthew 11:28-30. If we run too far ahead, Jesus will just stay put and let the yoke snap up back in to place. Ouch! On the other hand, if we drag out feet and just sit there, He’ll keep on going and the board designed to keep up in place will hit us in the back. Also ouch! Eventually we learn to keep in step with Jesus and thus we walk in sync with God. Sometimes I wonder if growing really has to be such a painful process ;-)
Thinking along those lines reminds me of a sermon that I heard at Evensong. It’s an Sunday evening service put on by Christian Student Fellowship, a college ministry, at Calvary. Anyway, the pastor there was speaking on walking in sync with God and likened it to being yoked with Jesus, like in Matthew 11:28-30. If we run too far ahead, Jesus will just stay put and let the yoke snap up back in to place. Ouch! On the other hand, if we drag out feet and just sit there, He’ll keep on going and the board designed to keep up in place will hit us in the back. Also ouch! Eventually we learn to keep in step with Jesus and thus we walk in sync with God. Sometimes I wonder if growing really has to be such a painful process ;-)
Life Update (6/30/07): Just a little while longer . . .
I met with Calvary’s Senior Pastor a few weeks ago and after giving me his comments on my Statement of Faith, we finally set an approximate date for the Ordination Council and Service. I wanted to set them up a few weeks apart so that if Council decides, for whatever reason, to delay my ordination, the Service can be rescheduled without too much inconvenience. So, it now looks like the Council will happen in September, with the Service hopefully following shortly there after in October. I know it’s been a bumpy ride, but if you hold on with me for just a little while longer I think we just might make it there ;-)
Bike Ride with God by Anonymous
Taken from the 12 Step Prayer Book:
Bike Ride with God
At first I saw God as my observer, my judge, keeping track of the things I did wrong, so as to know whether I merited heaven or hell when I die. He was out there sort of like the President. I recognized His picture when I saw it, but I didn't really know Him.
But later on when I recognized my Higher Power, it seemed as though life was rather like a bike ride; but it was a tandem bike, and I noticed that God was in the back helping me pedal.
I don't know just when it was that He suggested we change places, but life has not been the same since...life with my God makes life exciting.
When I had control, I knew the way. It was rather boring, but predictable. It was the shortest distance between two points.
But when He took the lead, He knew delightful long cuts, up mountains, and through rocky places and at breakneck speeds. It was all I could do to hang on! Even though it looked like madness, He said "pedal."
I worried and was anxious and asked, "Where are You taking me?" He laughed and didn't answer, and I started to trust.
I forgot my boring life and entered into the adventure; and when I'd say, "I'm scared," He'd lean back and touch my hand.
He took me to people with gifts that I needed, gifts of healing acceptance, and joy. They gave me their gifts to take on my journey; our journey, God's and mine.
And we were off again. He said, "Give the gifts away. They're extra baggage, too much weight." So I did, to the people we met, and I found that in giving I received, and still our burden was light.
I did not trust Him at first, in control of my life. I thought He'd wreck it. But He knew bike secrets, knew how to make it bend to take sharp corners, jump to clear high places filled with rocks, fly to shorten scary passages.
And I'm learning to shut up and pedal in the strangest places, and I'm beginning to enjoy the view and the cool breeze on my face with my delightful constant companion, my God.
And when I'm sure I can't do any more, He just smiles and says, "PEDAL"!
Bike Ride with God
At first I saw God as my observer, my judge, keeping track of the things I did wrong, so as to know whether I merited heaven or hell when I die. He was out there sort of like the President. I recognized His picture when I saw it, but I didn't really know Him.
But later on when I recognized my Higher Power, it seemed as though life was rather like a bike ride; but it was a tandem bike, and I noticed that God was in the back helping me pedal.
I don't know just when it was that He suggested we change places, but life has not been the same since...life with my God makes life exciting.
When I had control, I knew the way. It was rather boring, but predictable. It was the shortest distance between two points.
But when He took the lead, He knew delightful long cuts, up mountains, and through rocky places and at breakneck speeds. It was all I could do to hang on! Even though it looked like madness, He said "pedal."
I worried and was anxious and asked, "Where are You taking me?" He laughed and didn't answer, and I started to trust.
I forgot my boring life and entered into the adventure; and when I'd say, "I'm scared," He'd lean back and touch my hand.
He took me to people with gifts that I needed, gifts of healing acceptance, and joy. They gave me their gifts to take on my journey; our journey, God's and mine.
And we were off again. He said, "Give the gifts away. They're extra baggage, too much weight." So I did, to the people we met, and I found that in giving I received, and still our burden was light.
I did not trust Him at first, in control of my life. I thought He'd wreck it. But He knew bike secrets, knew how to make it bend to take sharp corners, jump to clear high places filled with rocks, fly to shorten scary passages.
And I'm learning to shut up and pedal in the strangest places, and I'm beginning to enjoy the view and the cool breeze on my face with my delightful constant companion, my God.
And when I'm sure I can't do any more, He just smiles and says, "PEDAL"!
Saturday, June 02, 2007
Meaningful Words (6/2/07)
I often hesitate when it comes to defining exactly how we can grow as Christians. I’m not quite sure why, but it really feels like I’m being a modern day Pharisee. Trying to define exactly what it means to grow up spiritually as if the church is another business or corporation where our value is based on our performance and it is being constantly revisited and re-evaluated. Maybe that’s why these two poems came to mind :
Thank you for joining me once again as I share my life and ministry with you in the fashion. I pray God spoke to you through this sharing of His work in and through me. As Paul said to his church in Colosse: “For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding. And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light. For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins” (Colossians 1:9-14).
Pharisee
Sometimes I feel like a modern-day Pharisee
My outside is all nice and shiny
But inside I’m greasy, grimy
They tell me I’m great, they tell me I’m wonderful
If only they knew the truth, they’d tell me that I’m really full
But I keep it all inside
There in the darkness is where I hide
There where no one else dares abide
Yet into my life You come, O Lord
You, to whom, all my life is as an open door
Away you brush the thin layers of my outer mask
For even the thickest of walls, for You, would not be much of a task.
Deeper and deeper you delve within
Past all the muck, past all the sin
You wash it all clean with Your water of life
Freeing me from all my hate and strife
Lord, I Would Die for You
*If it would mean the salvation
Of one more sinner
Lord, I’d die for you.
For I cried the servant’s tears
It feels like I’ve served for a thousand years
And yet still the joy fulfills me.
But sometimes in the dark
You know I feel so afraid
Afraid to tell them of You
It seems easier to die.
*
I try to follow Your Word
But at times to do so seems almost absurd.
Lord, I want to do Your will.
But instead I just lie still.
And feel the warm embrace of Your love
*
*2I want to be a sacrifice
Lord, take all of me.
I want to be a sacrifice.
Lord, take all of me.
All of me.
All my selfish fear
Let Your precious blood wash away each tear
All my evil sin
Cleanse me from within
Till nothing remains
And there are no more stains
But all that is left is Your love.
And Your Holy Spirit in me as a dove.
**2
Sometimes I feel like a modern-day Pharisee
My outside is all nice and shiny
But inside I’m greasy, grimy
They tell me I’m great, they tell me I’m wonderful
If only they knew the truth, they’d tell me that I’m really full
But I keep it all inside
There in the darkness is where I hide
There where no one else dares abide
Yet into my life You come, O Lord
You, to whom, all my life is as an open door
Away you brush the thin layers of my outer mask
For even the thickest of walls, for You, would not be much of a task.
Deeper and deeper you delve within
Past all the muck, past all the sin
You wash it all clean with Your water of life
Freeing me from all my hate and strife
Lord, I Would Die for You
*If it would mean the salvation
Of one more sinner
Lord, I’d die for you.
For I cried the servant’s tears
It feels like I’ve served for a thousand years
And yet still the joy fulfills me.
But sometimes in the dark
You know I feel so afraid
Afraid to tell them of You
It seems easier to die.
*
I try to follow Your Word
But at times to do so seems almost absurd.
Lord, I want to do Your will.
But instead I just lie still.
And feel the warm embrace of Your love
*
*2I want to be a sacrifice
Lord, take all of me.
I want to be a sacrifice.
Lord, take all of me.
All of me.
All my selfish fear
Let Your precious blood wash away each tear
All my evil sin
Cleanse me from within
Till nothing remains
And there are no more stains
But all that is left is Your love.
And Your Holy Spirit in me as a dove.
**2
Thank you for joining me once again as I share my life and ministry with you in the fashion. I pray God spoke to you through this sharing of His work in and through me. As Paul said to his church in Colosse: “For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding. And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light. For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins” (Colossians 1:9-14).
Sharing My Life: Heart & Goals (6/2/07)
As part of my one-year anniversary at St. John’s, my supervisor took me through an annual performance evaluation where we looked at how I had done in the past year and what areas needed improvement. Not that I did a shabby job, but here at HealthEast, they have a motto of “If it isn’t broke, make it better,” so there is always room for improvement. Most of this is done through setting goals, coming up with strategies to meet those goals and following through with it all. All of the strategies and goals needed to be Specific, Attainable and Measurable (S.A.M.), which means they needed to focus on particular areas that needed improvement, needed to addressable and changeable by me, the goal-setter, and needed to be able to show the improvement made. So, I couldn’t just have a goal of being a better chaplain, I needed to define what it meant for me to improve as a chaplain, that definition needed to contain factors that I could control and I needed to be able to show exactly how I had improved as a chaplain.
In making goals for my work life, I began to ponder how it might work to make goals in other areas of my life, especially in the area of spiritual growth. Can I make S.A.M. goals and strategies for my spiritual growth? For me, one of the classic scriptural references for how to grow spiritually is this: “For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins” (2Peter 1:5-9) So, the question then becomes, can I make goals and strategies to grow in goodness, knowledge, self-control, perseverance, godliness, brotherly kindness and love? Hmm. Good question. In reflecting further, I came to realization that many of the goals and strategies like reading more books to growing in knowledge or praying more to grow in godliness were more behavioral changes than heart changes. And while behavioral change is good, perseverance, self control and the rest are best grown from the inside out. What’s more, changing the heart takes not only a lot of work on my part, it also takes a touch of grace from God, and that those heart changes take root as I grow them through fellowship with God and you, my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ and in humanity. So, now I want to open the floor to you. What do you think? Feel free to share your thoughts. You can reply to this email, post a comment on my blog or my Facebook profile. What has helped you grow spiritually? What have you seen work in other’s lives as well? We all want to grow more and more like Christ, don’t we? So, let’s talk about how we can help each other do just that.
In making goals for my work life, I began to ponder how it might work to make goals in other areas of my life, especially in the area of spiritual growth. Can I make S.A.M. goals and strategies for my spiritual growth? For me, one of the classic scriptural references for how to grow spiritually is this: “For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins” (2Peter 1:5-9) So, the question then becomes, can I make goals and strategies to grow in goodness, knowledge, self-control, perseverance, godliness, brotherly kindness and love? Hmm. Good question. In reflecting further, I came to realization that many of the goals and strategies like reading more books to growing in knowledge or praying more to grow in godliness were more behavioral changes than heart changes. And while behavioral change is good, perseverance, self control and the rest are best grown from the inside out. What’s more, changing the heart takes not only a lot of work on my part, it also takes a touch of grace from God, and that those heart changes take root as I grow them through fellowship with God and you, my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ and in humanity. So, now I want to open the floor to you. What do you think? Feel free to share your thoughts. You can reply to this email, post a comment on my blog or my Facebook profile. What has helped you grow spiritually? What have you seen work in other’s lives as well? We all want to grow more and more like Christ, don’t we? So, let’s talk about how we can help each other do just that.
Life Update: One-Year Anniversary (6/2/07)
Yes, it’s true. I found it hard to believe at first also, but I have now been with St. John’s Hospital for one full year. In that year I have become more adept at functioning as a chaplain in an acute care hospital and have made some progress to getting ordained with the Baptist General Conference. I’ll be meeting with the pastors at Calvary in the coming weeks to discuss the next steps in that process.
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
Meaningful Words (5/1/07)
As I have been thinking through these changes in my life and my vices and virtues, these poems have been returning to my mind:
There is a White
There is a white for this black of ours.
It will show itself in its hour,
But we who hold it in our hearts,
No ray of dark can penetrate our parts.
But what of this light?
What use is it, if it cannot shine bright!
Too often we turn away its source.
We take out our swords,
Made by the hand of Satan,
And slash it into oblivion.
But this light cannot die.
It cannot be swept away.
There are those who have claimed it
And the light lives on in them.
The light has a place in all of our hearts.
Every single one must play its part.
Through them this world will change.
Through them it will exchange
Its darkness for the EVERLASTING LIGHT!
The Inner War
I woke up this morning and there you were in my face
The mirror your eyes, my soul your home
My worst enemy, my best friend
Everything I used to be, everything I might be again
Come back into the dark you whisper
But I’m yearning and fighting for the light
It’s so much easier and more comfortable there
Yet I know here is where I must remain
Hide yourself, it’s so much safer
No, I must be true to the world
I cannot don the mask of security
Cannot fake the act of sincerity
When everything I do and say is just a lie
Truth is more powerful than lie
And more powerful still when backed up by life
I know the life I should live
And I pray one day
It will be the life I do live
There is a white for this black of ours.
It will show itself in its hour,
But we who hold it in our hearts,
No ray of dark can penetrate our parts.
But what of this light?
What use is it, if it cannot shine bright!
Too often we turn away its source.
We take out our swords,
Made by the hand of Satan,
And slash it into oblivion.
But this light cannot die.
It cannot be swept away.
There are those who have claimed it
And the light lives on in them.
The light has a place in all of our hearts.
Every single one must play its part.
Through them this world will change.
Through them it will exchange
Its darkness for the EVERLASTING LIGHT!
The Inner War
I woke up this morning and there you were in my face
The mirror your eyes, my soul your home
My worst enemy, my best friend
Everything I used to be, everything I might be again
Come back into the dark you whisper
But I’m yearning and fighting for the light
It’s so much easier and more comfortable there
Yet I know here is where I must remain
Hide yourself, it’s so much safer
No, I must be true to the world
I cannot don the mask of security
Cannot fake the act of sincerity
When everything I do and say is just a lie
Truth is more powerful than lie
And more powerful still when backed up by life
I know the life I should live
And I pray one day
It will be the life I do live
Thank you for joining me once again as I share my life and ministry with you in the fashion. I pray God spoke to you through this sharing of His work in and through me. As Paul said to his church in Ephesus, “For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge — that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God” (Ephesians 3:14-19).
Sharing My Life (5/1/07): Virtues and Vices
For some reason I have found myself thinking a lot about vices and virtues this month. Traditionally there are 7 virtues (Humility, Generosity, Chastity, Meekness, Temperance, Love, and Fortitude) and 7 vices (Pride, Greed, Lust, Anger, Gluttony, Envy, and Sloth) and each pair can be compared. Pride is self-confidence taken to the extreme and Humility is confidence in new selves as reveled through Christ. Greed is our love of money run amok, while generosity is seeing money for what it really is, a means to an end and nothing more. Lust is our natural sexual desire taken to the extreme and Chastity is containing that same sexual desire within healthy boundaries until it can be fully expressed healthily in context of marriage. Anger is really our desire to control life lashing out uncontrolled, while Meekness is realizing that God is really the One in control after all and acting as such. Gluttony letting our desire to consume control our lives and bodies, and Temperance is learning to control that desire and others. Envy desires what others have while Love sees them for whom they really are. Sloth is doing nothing believing it all to futile anyway and Fortitude is seeing what needs to be done and doing it, knowing that God will help us do what we cannot. Each vice can be seen as a perversion of the good things God created in each of us, while each virtue is learning to express that good thing in healthy ways. In that light, one can almost see evil as merely the perversion of good, yet that might make one discount evil. While I do believe that evil is good perverted, that perverted good is still very potent. A jagged blade can still cut through flesh and bone and a poison can still weaken a person even when neutralized. In our daily lives, I think, we take strides each day either in the way of virtue or the way of vice. The question is do we let our desires control us through vice or gain control over them through virtue and Christ at work in us.
Life Update (5/1/07): Some Things Change . . .
In some ways my life has changed a bit over the past month or so. Then, in some ways, it’s still the same. About a month or so ago, my parents offered to finance me going into chaplaincy full-time. I took them up on that offer and quitting my PCA job. That enables me to do some volunteer chaplaincy work at St. Joseph’s in their Chemical Dependency Dept. while continuing to work for St. John’s, thus broadening my chaplaincy experience. At the same time I also resubmitted my papers to the BGC’s Ministerial Guidance Committee and got the go ahead to proceed to my church’s Ordination Council. So, my pastors are now reading through my papers and will soon meet with the Church Board and then convene the Ordination Council. If I get through that whole process, then the actual service will probably be sometime this Fall, I think. So, these days my life is still pretty busy, it’s just busy with different things.
Sunday, April 22, 2007
A poetic response to the violence during this past week
With the shooting at Virginia Tech, the ongoing conflict in Iraq and other violence this past week, I find myself reminded of a few poems and a song I once wrote:
Too Young
I saw him Thursday,
Who would have thought,
It would be the last time.
He died in random violence.
How or why, it doesn't matter.
He was too young
To Die
Too Young
To make a difference
And yet it hurts
That I will never see him again
I must admit, I didn't know him.
I just saw him in class.
But still I feel sad.
No one should be lost.
He was too young.
Another Life Ends
STAB! STAB! Darkness.
Another life ends. Another kid kills.
Another family mourns.
Another case begins.
What could be the motive?
Why him? Why now?
Now we recognize the violence.
Now it hits close to home.
What response is correct?
Is it payback time, or
Mourning time?
We don't need another death.
This violence must stop
Before it goes too far.
How many other lives must end
Before we realize the time has come?
Pray, Christians, pray.
Work, plan, work.
We all must do something.
We Are One
For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus. For all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.
-Galations 3:27-28
We are one in the Spirit; we are one in the Lord
We are one in the Spirit; we are one in the Lord
And we pray that our unity would one day be restored
And they’ll know we are Christians by our love, by our love
And they’ll know we are Christians by our love.
We, Your children, have suffered injustice
We, Your children look to you for justice
Yet when we look deeper we find ourselves perplexed
For we see within ourselves the perpetrator of this affront
You created each of us unique
And we have tried to be all the same
You made us black, white, red, yellow
And we have tried to be gray
We have denied the very nature of our being as the image of God
And embraced our sinful dust essence.
You created all of us equal
And we have made inequality the rule.
Forgive us, O Lord
We have sinned against You and against each other.
Enable us to forgive each other.
Unify us by the power of the blood of Your Son
May we be servants of Thy peace,
Sowing unity where there is division,
Sowing reconciliation where there is racism
Sowing love where there is hatred
We repent, Abba.
Have mercy on us.
Transform our hearts.
Make us the people You desire us to be
And may we be one in You.
We are one in the Spirit; we are one in the Lord
We are one in the Spirit; we are one in the Lord
And we pray that our unity would one day be restored
And they’ll know we are Christians by our love, by our love
And they’ll know we are Christians by our love.
All praise to the Father from Whom all things come,
And all praise to the Spirit Who makes us one,
And all praise to Christ Jesus His only Son,
And they’ll know we are Christians by our love, by our love
And they’ll know we are Christians by our love
There is a White
There is a white for this black of ours.
It will show itself in its hour,
But we who hold it in our hearts,
No ray of dark can penetrate our parts.
But what of this light?
What use is it, if it cannot shine bright!
Too often we turn away its source.
We take out our swords,
Made by the hand of Satan,
And slash it into oblivion.
But this light cannot die.
It cannot be swept away.
There are those who have claimed it
And the light lives on in them.
The light has a place in all of our hearts.
Every single one must play its part.
Through them this world will change.
Through them it will exchange
Its darkness for the EVERLASTING LIGHT!
Too Young
I saw him Thursday,
Who would have thought,
It would be the last time.
He died in random violence.
How or why, it doesn't matter.
He was too young
To Die
Too Young
To make a difference
And yet it hurts
That I will never see him again
I must admit, I didn't know him.
I just saw him in class.
But still I feel sad.
No one should be lost.
He was too young.
Another Life Ends
STAB! STAB! Darkness.
Another life ends. Another kid kills.
Another family mourns.
Another case begins.
What could be the motive?
Why him? Why now?
Now we recognize the violence.
Now it hits close to home.
What response is correct?
Is it payback time, or
Mourning time?
We don't need another death.
This violence must stop
Before it goes too far.
How many other lives must end
Before we realize the time has come?
Pray, Christians, pray.
Work, plan, work.
We all must do something.
We Are One
For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus. For all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.
-Galations 3:27-28
We are one in the Spirit; we are one in the Lord
We are one in the Spirit; we are one in the Lord
And we pray that our unity would one day be restored
And they’ll know we are Christians by our love, by our love
And they’ll know we are Christians by our love.
We, Your children, have suffered injustice
We, Your children look to you for justice
Yet when we look deeper we find ourselves perplexed
For we see within ourselves the perpetrator of this affront
You created each of us unique
And we have tried to be all the same
You made us black, white, red, yellow
And we have tried to be gray
We have denied the very nature of our being as the image of God
And embraced our sinful dust essence.
You created all of us equal
And we have made inequality the rule.
Forgive us, O Lord
We have sinned against You and against each other.
Enable us to forgive each other.
Unify us by the power of the blood of Your Son
May we be servants of Thy peace,
Sowing unity where there is division,
Sowing reconciliation where there is racism
Sowing love where there is hatred
We repent, Abba.
Have mercy on us.
Transform our hearts.
Make us the people You desire us to be
And may we be one in You.
We are one in the Spirit; we are one in the Lord
We are one in the Spirit; we are one in the Lord
And we pray that our unity would one day be restored
And they’ll know we are Christians by our love, by our love
And they’ll know we are Christians by our love.
All praise to the Father from Whom all things come,
And all praise to the Spirit Who makes us one,
And all praise to Christ Jesus His only Son,
And they’ll know we are Christians by our love, by our love
And they’ll know we are Christians by our love
There is a White
There is a white for this black of ours.
It will show itself in its hour,
But we who hold it in our hearts,
No ray of dark can penetrate our parts.
But what of this light?
What use is it, if it cannot shine bright!
Too often we turn away its source.
We take out our swords,
Made by the hand of Satan,
And slash it into oblivion.
But this light cannot die.
It cannot be swept away.
There are those who have claimed it
And the light lives on in them.
The light has a place in all of our hearts.
Every single one must play its part.
Through them this world will change.
Through them it will exchange
Its darkness for the EVERLASTING LIGHT!
Sunday, April 08, 2007
Chronic Worrier to Prayer Warrior
One day I was talking with a patient when I kept noticing that I was mishearing her. She spoke of how she was always worrying about various things. So much so that her doctor had even prescribed her some medicine to ease her anxiety. She kept on speaking of being a chronic “worrier” and I kept hearing her say “warrior”. At first I thought this was just my tiredness setting in. It is exhausting at times to be working two jobs and trying to be active in my church. Then it occurred to me that this mishearing could be intentional on God’s part. Maybe there was something He wanted me to notice here. So I mentioned this mishearing to the patient and thought aloud that maybe the next time she felt the urge to be a Chronic Worrier, she could, instead, turn her worry into prayer and there by become a Prayer Warrior. She commented that she had never thought about that way and thanked me for sharing that thought with her. I offered to pray for her and she accepted. So, we ended the visit in prayer and I headed off to visit another patient.
Friday, April 06, 2007
Good Friday Poems
Here are a few of my poems appropriate for this Most Holy Day when Christ died to save us from our sins and bring us back to God:
This Cross
I wear this cross around my neck to remind me
To remind me that I am no longer my own
To remind me that I have been bought with a price
To remind me that 2,000 years ago He died in my place
He took the blame that should have been mine
He took the pain that should have been mine
Every bad thought that goes through my head
Every terrible deed that I take part in
Every sin that I commit
Was summed up in those six hours He spent dying on this cross.
This cross reminds me that I have a Savior
No longer must I go it alone
This cross reminds me that I have a Father
No longer must I be a prodigal son
This cross reminds me that I have a family
No longer am I the only one
This cross reminds me of a Man who cared.
He cared for the homeless
He cared for the lonely
He cared for the brokenhearted
He cared for those without a heart
He cared for those society tears apart
He cared for sinners like you and me
He cared for everyone that we do and do not see.
He cared and He still cares
This cross stands for grace
Of greater worth than any gold
This cross stands for mercy
Enough to cover the greatest of sinners a hundred times over
This cross stands for strength
His made perfect in our weakness
This cross stands for power
An immeasurable amount to awesome to even comprehend
This cross stands for love
Unlike any ever imagined or seen
This cross stands for compassion
To receive back a wayward soul that cost Him His own life.
This cross stands for Jesus, my Savior and my Lord!
Born Cracked
Born into the world a cracked vessel needing to be filled
The world she offers many things to fill it
Yet I always come back wanting more
Each things feels right at first
But in time they all turn up lacking
Back in the garden we knew what it was to be filled
Back in the garden we knew what it was to be loved
Back in the garden we knew what it was to be accepted
Dear God why did we ever turn away from You the True Source
Cursed to walk this world abandoned, though we are never alone
You pursue us day and night yet still we run
Unable to turn, unable to be filled
Until by grace You extend the hand
And turn us around in Your Embrace
The cross made this possible
The blood of Jesus fills our cracked vessel
His Blood seals the crack
In Him we are filled
In Him we are loved
In Him we are accepted
Though I know of His Love for me
Though I have soaked in the blood
Still my vessel leaks
Many are the times I know not filling
Many are the times I know not love
Many are the times I know not acceptance
Why is this the case?
Dear God extend Your Hand
Dear God send down Your Grace
Turn me around full in Your Embrace.
Nothing?
My children, I came to live with you.
I gave up My crown and throne to come be with you.
For 33 years I spoke truth and taught My ways.
Though I spoke the truth with love . . .
Still you heard what you wanted.
I spoke of love and grace,
You hear works and striving.
Does it mean nothing to you?
My children, I died for you.
For a long way I carried your sin.
I wore the crown of suffering.
You nailed Me to your cross.
For six hours I hung there praying for you.
I prayed for God to take My life.
To take it as payment for your debts.
I breathed My last in love.
Does it mean nothing?
My children, I stand before you.
My hands outstretched in love.
Look, see My hands and My feet.
The wounds that speak of sacrifice.
These wounds shed blood mixed with tears.
My children, I love you!
Does it mean nothing?
My children, you say it means everything.
You stand and sing My praises.
You claim My cross for your cause.
Yet your actions glorify Me not.
Your lips speak My Word.
Yet your heart plays a different chord.
Does it mean nothing?
Does it mean nothing to you?
DOES IT MEAN NOTHING?
DOES IT MEAN NOTHING TO YOU?
There is a White
There is a white for this black of ours.
It will show itself in its hour,
But we who hold it in our hearts,
No ray of dark can penetrate our parts.
But what of this light?
What use is it, if it cannot shine bright!
Too often we turn away its source.
We take out our swords,
Made by the hand of Satan,
And slash it into oblivion.
But this light cannot die.
It cannot be swept away.
There are those who have claimed it
And the light lives on in them.
The light has a place in all of our hearts.
Every single one must play its part.
Through them this world will change.
Through them it will exchange
Its darkness for the EVERLASTING LIGHT!
Forgiven
I have already forgiven your sin.
Why do you bring it before Me again?
I have already washed you clean.
Why do you insist on playing in the dirt?
Accept My forgiveness.
Receive My cleansing.
Why do you cling to that which I have already released you from?
Why do you remain in the dungeon?
The chains have already been broken and the key thrown away.
The gates of iron have been flung wide open
And yet still you cower in the cage of your own making
The light has been shown forth
Yet you prefer the darkness
What more can I do for you, My child?
How else can I bid you come?
The table has already been set and the dinner bell is ringing
Is it possible you have not heard Me calling?
Answer Me and I will give you the desires of your heart.
I am your Father and have always been faithful.
Is this not the truth?
Listen to your heart, My child.
You know Who I am.
You have always known.
Come unto me, O Desire of my heart!
Beckon me unto Your Feast, O Satisfier of my deepest hunger!
Dance with Me, O Romancer of my soul!
Set me beside the still waters, O Author of my peace!
Run with me, O my Ever True Companion
Guide my steps. O Victorious Winner of the race set before me!
You Who began this good work in me,
You are my Faithful Father
And You will finish what You have started!
Yes, You will finish what you have started!
To remind me that I am no longer my own
To remind me that I have been bought with a price
To remind me that 2,000 years ago He died in my place
He took the blame that should have been mine
He took the pain that should have been mine
Every bad thought that goes through my head
Every terrible deed that I take part in
Every sin that I commit
Was summed up in those six hours He spent dying on this cross.
This cross reminds me that I have a Savior
No longer must I go it alone
This cross reminds me that I have a Father
No longer must I be a prodigal son
This cross reminds me that I have a family
No longer am I the only one
This cross reminds me of a Man who cared.
He cared for the homeless
He cared for the lonely
He cared for the brokenhearted
He cared for those without a heart
He cared for those society tears apart
He cared for sinners like you and me
He cared for everyone that we do and do not see.
He cared and He still cares
This cross stands for grace
Of greater worth than any gold
This cross stands for mercy
Enough to cover the greatest of sinners a hundred times over
This cross stands for strength
His made perfect in our weakness
This cross stands for power
An immeasurable amount to awesome to even comprehend
This cross stands for love
Unlike any ever imagined or seen
This cross stands for compassion
To receive back a wayward soul that cost Him His own life.
This cross stands for Jesus, my Savior and my Lord!
Born Cracked
Born into the world a cracked vessel needing to be filled
The world she offers many things to fill it
Yet I always come back wanting more
Each things feels right at first
But in time they all turn up lacking
Back in the garden we knew what it was to be filled
Back in the garden we knew what it was to be loved
Back in the garden we knew what it was to be accepted
Dear God why did we ever turn away from You the True Source
Cursed to walk this world abandoned, though we are never alone
You pursue us day and night yet still we run
Unable to turn, unable to be filled
Until by grace You extend the hand
And turn us around in Your Embrace
The cross made this possible
The blood of Jesus fills our cracked vessel
His Blood seals the crack
In Him we are filled
In Him we are loved
In Him we are accepted
Though I know of His Love for me
Though I have soaked in the blood
Still my vessel leaks
Many are the times I know not filling
Many are the times I know not love
Many are the times I know not acceptance
Why is this the case?
Dear God extend Your Hand
Dear God send down Your Grace
Turn me around full in Your Embrace.
Nothing?
My children, I came to live with you.
I gave up My crown and throne to come be with you.
For 33 years I spoke truth and taught My ways.
Though I spoke the truth with love . . .
Still you heard what you wanted.
I spoke of love and grace,
You hear works and striving.
Does it mean nothing to you?
My children, I died for you.
For a long way I carried your sin.
I wore the crown of suffering.
You nailed Me to your cross.
For six hours I hung there praying for you.
I prayed for God to take My life.
To take it as payment for your debts.
I breathed My last in love.
Does it mean nothing?
My children, I stand before you.
My hands outstretched in love.
Look, see My hands and My feet.
The wounds that speak of sacrifice.
These wounds shed blood mixed with tears.
My children, I love you!
Does it mean nothing?
My children, you say it means everything.
You stand and sing My praises.
You claim My cross for your cause.
Yet your actions glorify Me not.
Your lips speak My Word.
Yet your heart plays a different chord.
Does it mean nothing?
Does it mean nothing to you?
DOES IT MEAN NOTHING?
DOES IT MEAN NOTHING TO YOU?
There is a White
There is a white for this black of ours.
It will show itself in its hour,
But we who hold it in our hearts,
No ray of dark can penetrate our parts.
But what of this light?
What use is it, if it cannot shine bright!
Too often we turn away its source.
We take out our swords,
Made by the hand of Satan,
And slash it into oblivion.
But this light cannot die.
It cannot be swept away.
There are those who have claimed it
And the light lives on in them.
The light has a place in all of our hearts.
Every single one must play its part.
Through them this world will change.
Through them it will exchange
Its darkness for the EVERLASTING LIGHT!
Forgiven
I have already forgiven your sin.
Why do you bring it before Me again?
I have already washed you clean.
Why do you insist on playing in the dirt?
Accept My forgiveness.
Receive My cleansing.
Why do you cling to that which I have already released you from?
Why do you remain in the dungeon?
The chains have already been broken and the key thrown away.
The gates of iron have been flung wide open
And yet still you cower in the cage of your own making
The light has been shown forth
Yet you prefer the darkness
What more can I do for you, My child?
How else can I bid you come?
The table has already been set and the dinner bell is ringing
Is it possible you have not heard Me calling?
Answer Me and I will give you the desires of your heart.
I am your Father and have always been faithful.
Is this not the truth?
Listen to your heart, My child.
You know Who I am.
You have always known.
Come unto me, O Desire of my heart!
Beckon me unto Your Feast, O Satisfier of my deepest hunger!
Dance with Me, O Romancer of my soul!
Set me beside the still waters, O Author of my peace!
Run with me, O my Ever True Companion
Guide my steps. O Victorious Winner of the race set before me!
You Who began this good work in me,
You are my Faithful Father
And You will finish what You have started!
Yes, You will finish what you have started!
Monday, April 02, 2007
Meaningful Words (4/3/07)
Here’s a couple poems, one for each theme presented in this letter; my struggle and call fleshed out in my poetry:
Thank you again, each an every one of you, for joining with me this month as I share my ministry with you in this fashion. Thank you especially, those who feel God’s call in their lives to pray for me and answer Him. Your prayers constantly fill me the strength and courage to persevere on. Now, as Jude once said, “To him who is able to keep you from falling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy - to the only God our Savior be glory, majesty, power and authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forevermore! Amen” (Jude 24-25).
When Sorrow Abounds
When sorrow abounds
Let Your Love surround us
When the cry of our broken hearts rings from the depths
Incline Your ear, O Lord, and listen to our breaths
You are Jesus, Bearer of our grief
You are our Savior, our only relief
You are God, the Father of all comfort
In this our time of need, be not our last resort
You are the Holy Spirit, Who dwells in our heart
From Your life may we never depart
We are Your children, the sheep of Your fold
Come, O God, fall upon us manifold
We need Your saving grace
Enfold us Father in Your embrace
We need Your Truth from Your Word
Come, Spirit, and penetrate us with Your sword
In You we find life
And solace for our strife
In You we find forgiveness
And strength in our weakness
And though Your gift costs us nothing,
We can never be the same.
For everything changes in the presence of Your Name
You are love and life enfleshed
In You our hearts will never be famished
In You is everything we need
In our hearts, come, plant Your seed
Let Your Spirit dwell within us
Be our heart and soul focus
We are Your children, the sheep of Your hand
On You let us with everything depend
A Blessing for the Man of God
Fall upon this man, O God of our Fathers
May Your Presence surround him
Command Your angels to encamp about him
That the arrows of the enemy may ever fail and fall short
Guard his heart
May Your streams of living water flow ever from her
Keep her undivided in her focus
Ever attentive to You, her Lord and King
Take captive his mind for you, O Holy Spirit
Renew, rewire, and reconfigure it
May it be no longer conformed to this world
Transform it with Your ever Refining Fire
May Your Peace fill his life
Direct the paths of his soul
Recapture it with Your love
Keep it healthy and ever devoted to You
You, O Jesus, Lover of his soul
Take Your Blood, O Jesus, and cleanse his eyes
May your living water flow over them, washing away all remnants of sin
Keep them pure, O Jesus, for they are the portals of all within
Keep his ears attuned to You, O Holy Spirit
Help him discern Your Voice among all those waging for his attention
May Your Words be ever upon his lips, O Lord
May his mouth hang open expectantly
Longing for Your Command
Break free his hands and feet for their shackles
May they be swift and beautiful for Thee
When sorrow abounds
Let Your Love surround us
When the cry of our broken hearts rings from the depths
Incline Your ear, O Lord, and listen to our breaths
You are Jesus, Bearer of our grief
You are our Savior, our only relief
You are God, the Father of all comfort
In this our time of need, be not our last resort
You are the Holy Spirit, Who dwells in our heart
From Your life may we never depart
We are Your children, the sheep of Your fold
Come, O God, fall upon us manifold
We need Your saving grace
Enfold us Father in Your embrace
We need Your Truth from Your Word
Come, Spirit, and penetrate us with Your sword
In You we find life
And solace for our strife
In You we find forgiveness
And strength in our weakness
And though Your gift costs us nothing,
We can never be the same.
For everything changes in the presence of Your Name
You are love and life enfleshed
In You our hearts will never be famished
In You is everything we need
In our hearts, come, plant Your seed
Let Your Spirit dwell within us
Be our heart and soul focus
We are Your children, the sheep of Your hand
On You let us with everything depend
A Blessing for the Man of God
Fall upon this man, O God of our Fathers
May Your Presence surround him
Command Your angels to encamp about him
That the arrows of the enemy may ever fail and fall short
Guard his heart
May Your streams of living water flow ever from her
Keep her undivided in her focus
Ever attentive to You, her Lord and King
Take captive his mind for you, O Holy Spirit
Renew, rewire, and reconfigure it
May it be no longer conformed to this world
Transform it with Your ever Refining Fire
May Your Peace fill his life
Direct the paths of his soul
Recapture it with Your love
Keep it healthy and ever devoted to You
You, O Jesus, Lover of his soul
Take Your Blood, O Jesus, and cleanse his eyes
May your living water flow over them, washing away all remnants of sin
Keep them pure, O Jesus, for they are the portals of all within
Keep his ears attuned to You, O Holy Spirit
Help him discern Your Voice among all those waging for his attention
May Your Words be ever upon his lips, O Lord
May his mouth hang open expectantly
Longing for Your Command
Break free his hands and feet for their shackles
May they be swift and beautiful for Thee
Thank you again, each an every one of you, for joining with me this month as I share my ministry with you in this fashion. Thank you especially, those who feel God’s call in their lives to pray for me and answer Him. Your prayers constantly fill me the strength and courage to persevere on. Now, as Jude once said, “To him who is able to keep you from falling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy - to the only God our Savior be glory, majesty, power and authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forevermore! Amen” (Jude 24-25).
Sharing My Life (4/3/07): Being a Hope-Bringer
Another question my friends often ask me is how I deal with all the death I see in my job. After all, most weeks I am called to minister to a number of families who are either in the process of losing or have lost a family member. To be honest, it was hard at first. Then God reminded me that death is not the final chapter. Those people who are dying are now returning to the God Who loving brought them into this world in the first place and has been compassionately pursing them ever since (Ephesians 1-2). Now it is true that some have never received God’s pursuant compassionate love and I do believe that God, in His mercy will grant them their life long pursuit and finally leave them alone (Hebrews 10:26-30). Yet to those who believe, God has promised to receive them in to the place He has been preparing for them since before they were even born (John 14:2-3). That later truth is the one I share with those who are grieving. I remind them that though their loved ones are not here any more in bodily form, they live on in the memories of their loved ones and in their hearts as they continue to love them with their lives. Even more I encourage the families of those I know are with God, that they will see their loved ones again when it is their time to go and be with Him. That is the hope I bring them and because of that hope, I often leave their presence fulfilled, knowing God’s love is present and encouraging them in their grief.
Life Update (4/3/07): A Changing Call from an Unchanging God?
A week or so ago, a friend asked me what my long-term plans were in chaplaincy and to be honest, I had a bit of a hard time answering him. You see, after I get ordained, there is still Board Certification to work towards and even having those two major hurdles cleared does not guarantee that I will be able to get a job as a chaplain. The competition for such positions, especially here in the Cities is pretty tough. As I was reflecting about that with another friend, she asked me if I had ever actually received a call from God to chaplaincy. I do not think she doubted my call; she just wanted to help me clarify it. Her question caused me to reflect a bit more.
For a long time now I have felt called to minister to the broken. God has given me a heart for them and I long to help them realize the hope and strength He can be in their lives. I even have a mission statement for myself that I believe is from Him: To seek God’s Heart behind our masks. Through the years, God has shown me that He has planted His image in each of our hearts. In the midst of everything this world throws at us, this image can get quite tarnished. Yet through Christ, God brings us back into His healing space and helps us to become more like Him through the Power of His Holy Spirit at work in and through our hearts and lives. That passion has been clear in my heart for a while now. What is often not so clear is the exact way God desires me to live out that mission. At times it definitely feels like I am doing so in chaplaincy. Other times when finances and office politics get thrown in the mix, I start to wonder if, maybe God is calling me to another profession. Yet with the experience, training and schooling I have gotten so far, chaplaincy does seem to be the right direction and I have definitely had a number of times where I have felt used by God through it. So, until God calls me elsewhere, I will continue down the path He is showing me. After all, as my friend also encouraged me, “We should not doubt in the dark what God has shown us in the light” and I am inclined to agree with her.
For a long time now I have felt called to minister to the broken. God has given me a heart for them and I long to help them realize the hope and strength He can be in their lives. I even have a mission statement for myself that I believe is from Him: To seek God’s Heart behind our masks. Through the years, God has shown me that He has planted His image in each of our hearts. In the midst of everything this world throws at us, this image can get quite tarnished. Yet through Christ, God brings us back into His healing space and helps us to become more like Him through the Power of His Holy Spirit at work in and through our hearts and lives. That passion has been clear in my heart for a while now. What is often not so clear is the exact way God desires me to live out that mission. At times it definitely feels like I am doing so in chaplaincy. Other times when finances and office politics get thrown in the mix, I start to wonder if, maybe God is calling me to another profession. Yet with the experience, training and schooling I have gotten so far, chaplaincy does seem to be the right direction and I have definitely had a number of times where I have felt used by God through it. So, until God calls me elsewhere, I will continue down the path He is showing me. After all, as my friend also encouraged me, “We should not doubt in the dark what God has shown us in the light” and I am inclined to agree with her.
Monday, February 19, 2007
For the past months I have been attending an evening service held at Calvary. The people who worship then are called the Evensong Worship Community and we are led in worship by Dave Burkum, the Director of Ministry & Development at Christian Student Fellowship, a college ministry. Many of the songs we sing are written by him and a few of them have been running through my mind lately. As it turns out, most of them are taken right from scripture.
This is the Testimony
(1John 5:11-12)
This is the testimony
God has given us eternal life. (x2)
And this life is in His Son;
He who has the Son has life.
And this life is in His Son;
He who does not have the
Son of God does not have life
This is the testimony.
Until Now
(John 16:24)
Until now . . .
You have not asked for anything in My Name (x2)
Ask . . .
And you will receive
And your joy
Your joy will be complete
Ask . . .
And you will receive
And your joy
Your joy will be complete
Your Word
(Psalm 119:9-11)
Part 1:
How can a young man keep his way pure
By living, by living according to Your Word. (x2)
Part 2:
I seek You Lord, with all my heart
Don’t let me stray from your commands (x2)
Part 3:
I have hidden Your Word,
Hidden Your Word in my heart
That I might not sin against you. (x2)
Closing Tag:
How can a young man keep his way pure?
Putting First the Things That Last
(Matthew 6: 19, 21; Luke 12:32-33)
I’m putting first the things that last (x4)
Do not store up treasures on earth
Where rust and moth destroy
Instead make purses that will never wear out
For where your treasure is
Your heart will also be.
I’m putting first the things that last (x4)
Don’t be afraid, the Father is pleased
To give you His Kingdom
Sell your possessions and give to the poor
For where your treasure is
Your heart will also be.
I’m putting first the things that last (x4)
If your wondering what these songs actually sound like, Dave has posted chords here as well as links to where you can listen to his songs purchase his CD’s. He’s a very godly man, so your money would be going to a good cause.
This is the Testimony
(1John 5:11-12)
This is the testimony
God has given us eternal life. (x2)
And this life is in His Son;
He who has the Son has life.
And this life is in His Son;
He who does not have the
Son of God does not have life
This is the testimony.
Until Now
(John 16:24)
Until now . . .
You have not asked for anything in My Name (x2)
Ask . . .
And you will receive
And your joy
Your joy will be complete
Ask . . .
And you will receive
And your joy
Your joy will be complete
Your Word
(Psalm 119:9-11)
Part 1:
How can a young man keep his way pure
By living, by living according to Your Word. (x2)
Part 2:
I seek You Lord, with all my heart
Don’t let me stray from your commands (x2)
Part 3:
I have hidden Your Word,
Hidden Your Word in my heart
That I might not sin against you. (x2)
Closing Tag:
How can a young man keep his way pure?
Putting First the Things That Last
(Matthew 6: 19, 21; Luke 12:32-33)
I’m putting first the things that last (x4)
Do not store up treasures on earth
Where rust and moth destroy
Instead make purses that will never wear out
For where your treasure is
Your heart will also be.
I’m putting first the things that last (x4)
Don’t be afraid, the Father is pleased
To give you His Kingdom
Sell your possessions and give to the poor
For where your treasure is
Your heart will also be.
I’m putting first the things that last (x4)
If your wondering what these songs actually sound like, Dave has posted chords here as well as links to where you can listen to his songs purchase his CD’s. He’s a very godly man, so your money would be going to a good cause.
Sharing My Life (2/19/07): The Little Things
As I have taken a step back from advancing my career so aggressively this month, God has been bringing to light a number of areas that got lost again in all of my big move to get placed in ministry. Little things like making sure I have enough money to pay all my bills and not going into debt, honoring God in my friendships and relationships and being a good worker, just to name a few. It is not that I am in danger of going bankrupt, losing friends or getting fired. Yet I have noticed that I am spending beyond my means, not spending enough quality time with friends and just barely doing the minimum in some of my job responsibilities.
However, noticing something and doing something about are two different things, so this afternoon I sat down with a financial consultant, referred to me by Calvary, and worked out a budget to help me get my spending habits under control and work away at my debt. I have also met with both my supervisors to get more of a handle on my job responsibilities. As for my friends, I am trying to take that one friendship at a time.
Throughout it all, I can hear God saying, “Mike, make it your ambition to lead a quiet life in these days. Honor me in the little things, and when the time comes, you will be ready to handle the greater things I will give to you” (1Thessalonians 4:11-12, Matthew 25: 14-30).
However, noticing something and doing something about are two different things, so this afternoon I sat down with a financial consultant, referred to me by Calvary, and worked out a budget to help me get my spending habits under control and work away at my debt. I have also met with both my supervisors to get more of a handle on my job responsibilities. As for my friends, I am trying to take that one friendship at a time.
Throughout it all, I can hear God saying, “Mike, make it your ambition to lead a quiet life in these days. Honor me in the little things, and when the time comes, you will be ready to handle the greater things I will give to you” (1Thessalonians 4:11-12, Matthew 25: 14-30).
Life Update (2/19/07): Ministry Glimpse
This month I thought I would take some time to introduce you to one of the people I have been ministering to at St. John’s over the past months. For privacy’s sake, I will call her Amy. I first met Amy about three or four months ago when she first came into the hospital. She was suffering from a skin infection that had caused massive rash and blister outbreaks all over her body. As a result, she was put into one of our isolation rooms and I had to put on a gown, mask and gloves every time I visited with her. As we talked that first time I could see that her skin condition was not only isolating her from the physical touch of staff people, but from family visits as well. She was a single mom and her daughter was now being cared for by her parents and none of them wanted to visit with her here. I do not remember much about that first visit, but I do remember reminding her that though her friends and family may be staying away from her, God was near her and God loved her. I reminded her that God knew her even better than they did, even better than she knew herself. God knew her inside and out, God knew her good side and bad side. God knew it all and loved her still.
Then a month or so later, she came again. Her infection had returned and was worse still. Every time I went to visit her she was either resting or being cared for by staff. Still, I felt compelled to share with her some scripture. I knew from our last visit together that she was Catholic; so sharing scripture would be acceptable. The scripture I chose was the same one I shared with you a couple months ago, the one in 2 Corinthians 4:7-18 where Paul speaks of us as jars of clay. I included it in a note where I encouraged her that though she was going through a painful process, God was with her through it and was molding and shaping her, in the midst of it, into the woman God created her to be. When I visited her to drop it off, I found her asleep, so I simply put it on her bedside table and trusted God would do the rest.
And that God did. This past weekend, I found that she was in the hospital once again and made time to visit with her. She mentioned that she had read and been touched by my note. She also expressed how her family was still staying away from her and as she was speaking I kept on being reminded of the woman with the continual menstrual flow in chapter 5 of Mark’s Gospel. So, I shared that scripture her as well. We closed our time together again in prayer and she asked if her daughter could meet me. I replied that if she came with Amy the next time she checked in here, I would be happy to meet her.
Throughout the whole care relationship, I have sensed that Amy is seeking God. In the same way, I know God is seeking her, for that was God’s promise in chapter 7 of Matthew’s Gospel. As she draws close to God, so God will draw close to her. God will work in her heart and make God’s love manifest in her life as she draws close to God and allows God to do so. So it is with each of us as well.
Then a month or so later, she came again. Her infection had returned and was worse still. Every time I went to visit her she was either resting or being cared for by staff. Still, I felt compelled to share with her some scripture. I knew from our last visit together that she was Catholic; so sharing scripture would be acceptable. The scripture I chose was the same one I shared with you a couple months ago, the one in 2 Corinthians 4:7-18 where Paul speaks of us as jars of clay. I included it in a note where I encouraged her that though she was going through a painful process, God was with her through it and was molding and shaping her, in the midst of it, into the woman God created her to be. When I visited her to drop it off, I found her asleep, so I simply put it on her bedside table and trusted God would do the rest.
And that God did. This past weekend, I found that she was in the hospital once again and made time to visit with her. She mentioned that she had read and been touched by my note. She also expressed how her family was still staying away from her and as she was speaking I kept on being reminded of the woman with the continual menstrual flow in chapter 5 of Mark’s Gospel. So, I shared that scripture her as well. We closed our time together again in prayer and she asked if her daughter could meet me. I replied that if she came with Amy the next time she checked in here, I would be happy to meet her.
Throughout the whole care relationship, I have sensed that Amy is seeking God. In the same way, I know God is seeking her, for that was God’s promise in chapter 7 of Matthew’s Gospel. As she draws close to God, so God will draw close to her. God will work in her heart and make God’s love manifest in her life as she draws close to God and allows God to do so. So it is with each of us as well.
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Meaningful Words (1/31/07)
As I work through this inner struggle and try to take things slower, here are a few poems that express my heart:
The Inner War
I woke up this morning and there you were in my face
The mirror your eyes, my soul your home
My worst enemy, my best friend
Everything I used to be, everything I might be again
Come back into the dark you whisper
But I’m yearning and fighting for the light
It’s so much easier and more comfortable there
Yet I know here is where I must remain
Hide yourself; it’s so much safer
No, I must be true to the world
I cannot don the mask of security
Cannot fake the act of sincerity
When everything I do and say is just a lie
Truth is more powerful than lie
And more powerful still when backed up by life
I know the life I should live
And I pray one day
It will be the life I do live
Into the Woods
I saw you when you ran into the woods,
For I was there with you,
I was the One you were running away from,
Yet I was the One you were running to,
Which was I to you?
Which were you to Me?
How I long for you to cling to Me as you used to,
To feel your heart beat with mine,
To share your thoughts and know your mind,
Yet you have drifted far away and are ever still rowing,
Farther and farther you roam,
It seems almost as if you are at home,
There in the wilderness,
Off in the distance.
Come home to Me, My love,
The journey is really not that long,
If you would but turn around,
Lift up your eyes and see,
There you would find me,
My gentle hands will wipe away your every tear,
The blood from my wounds will cleanse your every sin.
Cleansing and reaching ever deeper within,
Bring your broken hearts and shattered dreams
Lay them at My nail-pierced feet
For when you cried, I cried with you,
When you ran, I was there at your side,
When you hid there in the dark,
I was there as well.
I am with you always,
Not as a presence to be feared
But as One who knows you through and through,
One who has seen you at your worst and at your best
I know you, I love you, and I am for you.
Let Go
The Father:
I invite you, My child, to let go.
Let go of your need to worry,
for it really does you no good.
Let go of your need to control,
for you really have none.
Let go of your need for a plan,
for I am all you really ever need!
I invite you, My child, to let Me in.
Let Me into your concerns,
for I can bear your load.
Let Me into your life,
for I do know what I am doing.
Let Me into your heart,
for I am the One you were created for.
I invite you, My child,
to know the truth.
Know that I care for you and I will see to your needs.
Know that I am taking care of them even now.
Know that I am Your Faithful Father.
His Child:
Lord, help me to trust when I don’t want to trust
Lord, help me to love when I don’t want to love
Lord, help to give, when I don’t want to give
To give my life to You.
For You, O Lord, are the Lover of my soul
And You, O Lord, are faithful
Yes, You O Lord, will watch over me
And care for me better than I ever could.
The Inner War
I woke up this morning and there you were in my face
The mirror your eyes, my soul your home
My worst enemy, my best friend
Everything I used to be, everything I might be again
Come back into the dark you whisper
But I’m yearning and fighting for the light
It’s so much easier and more comfortable there
Yet I know here is where I must remain
Hide yourself; it’s so much safer
No, I must be true to the world
I cannot don the mask of security
Cannot fake the act of sincerity
When everything I do and say is just a lie
Truth is more powerful than lie
And more powerful still when backed up by life
I know the life I should live
And I pray one day
It will be the life I do live
Into the Woods
I saw you when you ran into the woods,
For I was there with you,
I was the One you were running away from,
Yet I was the One you were running to,
Which was I to you?
Which were you to Me?
How I long for you to cling to Me as you used to,
To feel your heart beat with mine,
To share your thoughts and know your mind,
Yet you have drifted far away and are ever still rowing,
Farther and farther you roam,
It seems almost as if you are at home,
There in the wilderness,
Off in the distance.
Come home to Me, My love,
The journey is really not that long,
If you would but turn around,
Lift up your eyes and see,
There you would find me,
My gentle hands will wipe away your every tear,
The blood from my wounds will cleanse your every sin.
Cleansing and reaching ever deeper within,
Bring your broken hearts and shattered dreams
Lay them at My nail-pierced feet
For when you cried, I cried with you,
When you ran, I was there at your side,
When you hid there in the dark,
I was there as well.
I am with you always,
Not as a presence to be feared
But as One who knows you through and through,
One who has seen you at your worst and at your best
I know you, I love you, and I am for you.
Let Go
The Father:
I invite you, My child, to let go.
Let go of your need to worry,
for it really does you no good.
Let go of your need to control,
for you really have none.
Let go of your need for a plan,
for I am all you really ever need!
I invite you, My child, to let Me in.
Let Me into your concerns,
for I can bear your load.
Let Me into your life,
for I do know what I am doing.
Let Me into your heart,
for I am the One you were created for.
I invite you, My child,
to know the truth.
Know that I care for you and I will see to your needs.
Know that I am taking care of them even now.
Know that I am Your Faithful Father.
His Child:
Lord, help me to trust when I don’t want to trust
Lord, help me to love when I don’t want to love
Lord, help to give, when I don’t want to give
To give my life to You.
For You, O Lord, are the Lover of my soul
And You, O Lord, are faithful
Yes, You O Lord, will watch over me
And care for me better than I ever could.
Sharing My Life (1/31/07): Being True
Another part of taking things slower has been a re-examining of my call to ministry. I do not doubt God’s call upon my life or my passion to love Him and His people. Some times I just doubt whether the approach I am taking to answering that call is really the one He desires and designed me for. There are days when I feel right at home being a chaplain, and then there are times when the expectations of that role feel out of sync with who it feels like God created me to be.
One area where this struggle has been most on my mind these days is that of needing to be a “professional.” Always wanting to be sure that I am putting forth the right image of being a chaplain, even if I am not sure what that image is. Making sure not to offend or get too close to those I am ministering with and to, even if I sense that “ offense” or “closeness” maybe exactly what they may need at that moment. I could go on, but I think you get the struggle.
Sometimes this struggle also manifests itself in my personal life as well. With my friends and family, I want to be myself. I want to let my true colors shine and let Christ’s work within me manifest itself in my life for all to see yet I hold back out of uncertainty and fear. Uncertainty about certain specifics and fear that those specifics are the exact things they want me to be certain about. Uncertainty about how they will react to certain things I have been through and fear what their reaction could mean.
Many times this struggle also manifests itself in a kind of hesitancy. People ask me questions that they desire quick answers to and I hesitate, thinking not only about my answer but also the reaction that answer will elicit and whether or not that is really kind of answer they are looking for anyway. I experienced this during my meeting with the BGC MGC and they saw it as further evidence of my not being ready for ordination. Maybe so, though I doubt I am the first minister to get cold feet or doubt his call.
One area where this struggle has been most on my mind these days is that of needing to be a “professional.” Always wanting to be sure that I am putting forth the right image of being a chaplain, even if I am not sure what that image is. Making sure not to offend or get too close to those I am ministering with and to, even if I sense that “ offense” or “closeness” maybe exactly what they may need at that moment. I could go on, but I think you get the struggle.
Sometimes this struggle also manifests itself in my personal life as well. With my friends and family, I want to be myself. I want to let my true colors shine and let Christ’s work within me manifest itself in my life for all to see yet I hold back out of uncertainty and fear. Uncertainty about certain specifics and fear that those specifics are the exact things they want me to be certain about. Uncertainty about how they will react to certain things I have been through and fear what their reaction could mean.
Many times this struggle also manifests itself in a kind of hesitancy. People ask me questions that they desire quick answers to and I hesitate, thinking not only about my answer but also the reaction that answer will elicit and whether or not that is really kind of answer they are looking for anyway. I experienced this during my meeting with the BGC MGC and they saw it as further evidence of my not being ready for ordination. Maybe so, though I doubt I am the first minister to get cold feet or doubt his call.
Life Update (1/31/07): Taking It Slower
One of the many impressions I got from meeting with the Baptist General Conference’s Ministerial Guidance Committee (BGC MGC) was that I needed to slow things down a tad. They felt that I was pursuing ordination the next step in my career as a chaplain when they felt it was more of a pinnacle accomplishment. My response was that I did not like having to use ordination in this way either, but such was necessary to pursue the career that I felt God was calling me to, that of chaplaincy. They suggested seeing if I could do so with the ministerial license I already have. I did look into it, but at the current time with my present qualifications, the best chaplaincy position I can get is the one I already have.
Still, I do understand their desire for me to take things a bit slower. Sometimes I do have a tendency to race ahead when I feel God’s call on my life. A few times it has even felt like I raced too far and too fast. I was so sure that God wanted me in a certain position that I did everything I could to get there and then when I got there I realized that I was not quite ready for it. Sigh, sometimes I wonder if having all this free will is really all it is cracked up to be. Would it not be easier if we were all robots that simply did what God told us to do and never thought about other alternatives? But then I remember, God did not create us to be simply followers; He created us to be friends and lovers (John 15:9-17).
Still, I do understand their desire for me to take things a bit slower. Sometimes I do have a tendency to race ahead when I feel God’s call on my life. A few times it has even felt like I raced too far and too fast. I was so sure that God wanted me in a certain position that I did everything I could to get there and then when I got there I realized that I was not quite ready for it. Sigh, sometimes I wonder if having all this free will is really all it is cracked up to be. Would it not be easier if we were all robots that simply did what God told us to do and never thought about other alternatives? But then I remember, God did not create us to be simply followers; He created us to be friends and lovers (John 15:9-17).
Friday, January 12, 2007
Life Update: Not Yet Ready
Well, Wednesday morning I went to meet with the Baptist General Conference’s Ministerial Guidance Committee. I had presented them with my Testimony & Call to Ministry, My Statement of Faith and my Statement of Pastoral Ministry. Though I thought I had prepared the documents in accordance with their standards, they were quick to point out that I still needed to do some major re-workings of them before I would be ready to go before my church’s Ordination Council. They also suggested I brush up on my theological terminology so I could be clear on the difference between certain terms like Illumination, Inspiration and Authority. The end result was that they said they would send a letter to my Associate Pastor detailing the areas of my papers and preparation that still needed work and once I had implemented their suggestions, then I could come back again. I let him know this and it looks like we will be meeting next week to discuss our next steps.
As one might imagine, I found this to be a bit disappointing and frustrating. Now I have to go back and re-work these papers yet again and do some more personal preparation all while still juggling two jobs and trying to be an active member at Calvary. It’s times like this when I find myself reminded of Paul’s encouragement to his struggling churches in Corinth :
But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.
It is written: "I believed; therefore I have spoken. "With that same spirit of faith we also believe and therefore speak, because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you in his presence. All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.(2 Corinthians 4:7-18)
Though I may struggle at times to understand what God is doing in certain circumstances, this passage helps remind me that through it all He is with me. Through it all, He is refining me and helping me to be more and more the servant of His that He desires me to be. He is working in all of this to draw me closer to Himself and make me more like His Son, Jesus Christ.
Thank you for your prayers. Keep them coming. Pray that I will continue to be encouraged and God’s peace will continue to be with me as I continue to work towards becoming a full-time chaplain, if that is His will for me. If not, pray that would also become clear. Pray also for all those I visit while working as a chaplain, that they would see God at work in and through me and be drawn closer to Him as a result. Pray the same for those I work with as Personal Care Attendant. In all that I do, Lord Jesus, I pray it is as unto You.
I will keep you updated as things progress. I pray all is well with each of you and that God continues to draw you closer to Him each day and form you more and more into the men and woman He desires you to be. Men and women like Christ.
As one might imagine, I found this to be a bit disappointing and frustrating. Now I have to go back and re-work these papers yet again and do some more personal preparation all while still juggling two jobs and trying to be an active member at Calvary. It’s times like this when I find myself reminded of Paul’s encouragement to his struggling churches in Corinth :
But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.
It is written: "I believed; therefore I have spoken. "With that same spirit of faith we also believe and therefore speak, because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you in his presence. All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.(2 Corinthians 4:7-18)
Though I may struggle at times to understand what God is doing in certain circumstances, this passage helps remind me that through it all He is with me. Through it all, He is refining me and helping me to be more and more the servant of His that He desires me to be. He is working in all of this to draw me closer to Himself and make me more like His Son, Jesus Christ.
Thank you for your prayers. Keep them coming. Pray that I will continue to be encouraged and God’s peace will continue to be with me as I continue to work towards becoming a full-time chaplain, if that is His will for me. If not, pray that would also become clear. Pray also for all those I visit while working as a chaplain, that they would see God at work in and through me and be drawn closer to Him as a result. Pray the same for those I work with as Personal Care Attendant. In all that I do, Lord Jesus, I pray it is as unto You.
I will keep you updated as things progress. I pray all is well with each of you and that God continues to draw you closer to Him each day and form you more and more into the men and woman He desires you to be. Men and women like Christ.
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
Meaningful Words (1/3/07)
In preparing to present my Statement of Faith to these pastors and professors, I have also thought more about what I believe and how I have made those beliefs my own. These poems reflect that stream of thought.
Thank you for joining me again, as I share my life and ministry with you in this fashion. I continue to find it encouraging to reflect on God’s work in and through me on a monthly basis and share with those I love and cherish. It is also my constant prayer that as I have been encourage by reflecting on God’s work in me, so you will be also. May you grow daily in your awareness of His blessings and work already present in your life through His Holy Spirit at work in your heart through Christ. He is always actively drawing all of us closer to Himself and making us more like His Son, Jesus Christ. Praise the Lord for that promise and fact!
This Cross
I wear this cross around my neck to remind me
To remind me that I am no longer my own
To remind me that I have been bought with a price
To remind me that 2,000 years ago He died in my place
He took the blame that should have been mine
He took the pain that should have been mine
Every bad thought that goes through my head
Every terrible deed that I take part in
Every sin that I commit
Was summed up in those six hours He spent dying on this cross.
This cross reminds me that I have a Savior
No longer must I go it alone
This cross reminds me that I have a Father
No longer must I be a prodigal son
This cross reminds me that I have a family
No longer am I the only one
This cross reminds me of a Man who cared.
He cared for the homeless
He cared for the lonely
He cared for the brokenhearted
He cared for those without a heart
He cared for those society tears apart
He cared for sinners like you and me
He cared for everyone that we do and do not see.
He cared and He still cares
This cross stands for grace
Of greater worth than any gold
This cross stands for mercy
Enough to cover the greatest of sinners a hundred times over
This cross stands for strength
His made perfect in our weakness
This cross stands for power
An immeasurable amount to awesome to even comprehend
This cross stands for love
Unlike any ever imagined or seen
This cross stands for compassion
To receive back a wayward soul that cost Him His own life.
This cross stands for Jesus, my Savior and my Lord!
My Heart
Lord, I give you my heart
All I am
All I have ever been
And ever hope to be
All I have done and ever plan to do
All I am and ever wanted to be
You are the One I was created for
Why have I searched so long for more
In You all my hopes are met
In You all my desires are satisfied
In You, at last, my heart has found
its home.
No Love
There is no love greater than He has for you.
There is no price more than what He paid for you.
All of heaven is desperate for you.
All of creation is longing for you.
Will you turn to this love
And accept it as your own.
He loves you
More than you could know.
I wear this cross around my neck to remind me
To remind me that I am no longer my own
To remind me that I have been bought with a price
To remind me that 2,000 years ago He died in my place
He took the blame that should have been mine
He took the pain that should have been mine
Every bad thought that goes through my head
Every terrible deed that I take part in
Every sin that I commit
Was summed up in those six hours He spent dying on this cross.
This cross reminds me that I have a Savior
No longer must I go it alone
This cross reminds me that I have a Father
No longer must I be a prodigal son
This cross reminds me that I have a family
No longer am I the only one
This cross reminds me of a Man who cared.
He cared for the homeless
He cared for the lonely
He cared for the brokenhearted
He cared for those without a heart
He cared for those society tears apart
He cared for sinners like you and me
He cared for everyone that we do and do not see.
He cared and He still cares
This cross stands for grace
Of greater worth than any gold
This cross stands for mercy
Enough to cover the greatest of sinners a hundred times over
This cross stands for strength
His made perfect in our weakness
This cross stands for power
An immeasurable amount to awesome to even comprehend
This cross stands for love
Unlike any ever imagined or seen
This cross stands for compassion
To receive back a wayward soul that cost Him His own life.
This cross stands for Jesus, my Savior and my Lord!
My Heart
Lord, I give you my heart
All I am
All I have ever been
And ever hope to be
All I have done and ever plan to do
All I am and ever wanted to be
You are the One I was created for
Why have I searched so long for more
In You all my hopes are met
In You all my desires are satisfied
In You, at last, my heart has found
its home.
No Love
There is no love greater than He has for you.
There is no price more than what He paid for you.
All of heaven is desperate for you.
All of creation is longing for you.
Will you turn to this love
And accept it as your own.
He loves you
More than you could know.
Thank you for joining me again, as I share my life and ministry with you in this fashion. I continue to find it encouraging to reflect on God’s work in and through me on a monthly basis and share with those I love and cherish. It is also my constant prayer that as I have been encourage by reflecting on God’s work in me, so you will be also. May you grow daily in your awareness of His blessings and work already present in your life through His Holy Spirit at work in your heart through Christ. He is always actively drawing all of us closer to Himself and making us more like His Son, Jesus Christ. Praise the Lord for that promise and fact!
Of Christ's Resurrection and Ours
In dying on the cross, Christ took upon Himself the penalty for our sins (Romans 5:8). He paid the price that we would never have been able to pay. In rising from the dead, Jesus shows us not only are we dead to sin in Him, but indeed, we are risen with Him to new life in Christ (Romans 6:5). When we unite with Him we not only unite with Him in His death by putting to death the sin in our lives, we are unite with Him is resurrection by becoming alive again to new life in Christ (Philippians 3:10-11).
What is this new life that we have been raised with Christ into? First off, it is a life live in God’s approval. According to Paul, Christ was raised for our justification (Romans 4:25). When God raised Christ from the dead, it was His ultimate sign of approval. Because we are united with Christ, His approval is also our approval. Secondly, it is a life of power. In his letter the church in Ephesus, Paul indicates that the same power by which God raised Christ from the dead is at work in each of us (Ephesians 1:19-20). Just as Christ, Who was dead in His tomb for three days, was given new life by the power of God at work within Him, so we are as well. What is this power? It is the power of continuing victory and freedom over sin (Romans 6:14). It is the power of continuing Christ’s ministry (Acts 1:8). It is the power of God’s Spirit that works within each us, honing and perfecting us, to make us more like Christ (2 Corinthians 4: 7-12).
What is this new life that we have been raised with Christ into? First off, it is a life live in God’s approval. According to Paul, Christ was raised for our justification (Romans 4:25). When God raised Christ from the dead, it was His ultimate sign of approval. Because we are united with Christ, His approval is also our approval. Secondly, it is a life of power. In his letter the church in Ephesus, Paul indicates that the same power by which God raised Christ from the dead is at work in each of us (Ephesians 1:19-20). Just as Christ, Who was dead in His tomb for three days, was given new life by the power of God at work within Him, so we are as well. What is this power? It is the power of continuing victory and freedom over sin (Romans 6:14). It is the power of continuing Christ’s ministry (Acts 1:8). It is the power of God’s Spirit that works within each us, honing and perfecting us, to make us more like Christ (2 Corinthians 4: 7-12).
Grill Session 1
As I mentioned in my last letter, the next step in my ordination process is coming up quick. Next week I will be presenting my Statement of Faith to the Ministerial Guidance Committee of the Baptist General Conference (BGC). According to the BGC official I have been meeting with, the Committee will consist of a Bethel Seminary professor and four pastors. Each will have now been supplied with a copy of my Faith Statement and, as a result, each will have several questions for me in relation to it. As far as I know, my Statement of Faith does not contain any major heresies, so most of the questions will be directed ensuring that I not only know what I believe, but why I believe it.
As I contemplate this upcoming “interview,” I admit I am a bit unsure about how to prepare. So far I have been reading and re-reading my Statement of Faith to ensure I understand it and can defend it, if necessary. In doing so, I realized I left out something rather fundamental. Of course being that it’s a Statement of Faith and not a Systematic Theology, there were going to be some things that I had to leave out just for the sake of space and time. For instance, I chose not to cover the Last Days, because that would mean covering all the controversy about it and doing so would require a paper all of its own. Yet in re-reading my Statement of Faith, I found that I had left out something a bit more critical: Christ’s Resurrection. I do not know how I forgot this or even how it’s omission was missed by my readers, but that is what happened apparently. Upon realizing this, I sought the counsel of my BGC official. He recommended I write up a short piece about Christ’s Resurrection and my beliefs regarding it. As a test run, I have decided to present it here.
As I contemplate this upcoming “interview,” I admit I am a bit unsure about how to prepare. So far I have been reading and re-reading my Statement of Faith to ensure I understand it and can defend it, if necessary. In doing so, I realized I left out something rather fundamental. Of course being that it’s a Statement of Faith and not a Systematic Theology, there were going to be some things that I had to leave out just for the sake of space and time. For instance, I chose not to cover the Last Days, because that would mean covering all the controversy about it and doing so would require a paper all of its own. Yet in re-reading my Statement of Faith, I found that I had left out something a bit more critical: Christ’s Resurrection. I do not know how I forgot this or even how it’s omission was missed by my readers, but that is what happened apparently. Upon realizing this, I sought the counsel of my BGC official. He recommended I write up a short piece about Christ’s Resurrection and my beliefs regarding it. As a test run, I have decided to present it here.
Monday, December 04, 2006
Meaningful Words (12/4/06)
Here are a couple poems I’ve written over the past few months. I’ve also included my Immanuel poem in honor of Advent.
Pharisee
Sometimes I feel like a modern-day Pharisee
My outside is all nice and shiny
But inside I’m greasy, grimy
They tell me I’m great, they tell me I’m wonderful
If only they knew the truth, they’d tell me that I’m really full
But I keep it all inside
There in the darkness is where I hide
There where no one else dares abide
Yet into my life You come, O Lord
You, to whom, all my life is as an open door
Away you brush the thin layers of my outer mask
For even the thickest of walls, for You, would not be much of a task.
Deeper and deeper you delve within
Past all the muck, past all the sin
You wash it all clean with Your water of life
Freeing me from all my hate and strife
Community
Christ in you, Christ in me
This is what it means to be a true community
Christ in you, Christ in me
This is what God desires, His earthly Trinity
Your heart beating next to mine,
My heart beating next to yours
And at the center, there is God
In our midst
Christ in you, Christ in me
This is what it means to be a true community
Christ in you, Christ in me
This is what God desires, His earthly Trinity
For there are loads we cannot carry alone
Never were meant to be on our own
But side by side,
Let me carry you,
And when I’m tired
You’ll carry me too.
And we can can’t carry on
That’s when we’ll look to God
And find He’s been with us all along
Christ in you, Christ in me
This is what it means to be a true community
Christ in you, Christ in me
This is what God desires, His earthly Trinity
This road of life is long and narrow
With much toil and real sorrow
Yet hold to me,
As I hold to you,
And we will grow in His embrace.
Immanuel
Son of God, Immanuel
Tonight You came with us to dwell
You came to show us how to live
You came to us eternal life to give
Child of the King, You came from above
To teach us the true meaning of love
Took on our flesh, took on our sin
Our earthly burden, You took within
By Your hands, our wounds were healed
With Your blood our hearts are sealed
Teach us this day
To walk in Your way
Almighty Father, watch over us
Protect us from our darkness
Holy Spirit, Who dwells within
Keep us this day from all sin
Jesus, Redeemer, Lover, and Friend
To us Your embrace now extend
As we gather with our family
As we gather with our friends
Your love guides our hearts, as we amble blindly
While we hold hands, Your grace descends
And for those of us, who spend this season alone
As our spirits within us groan
Remind us, I pray, that You are always there.
Remind us, O Lord, that You always care.
The road we walk is treacherous
But You O Lord are ever with us
Give us this day our daily bread
Watch over us as we go to bed.
A-men.
Pharisee
Sometimes I feel like a modern-day Pharisee
My outside is all nice and shiny
But inside I’m greasy, grimy
They tell me I’m great, they tell me I’m wonderful
If only they knew the truth, they’d tell me that I’m really full
But I keep it all inside
There in the darkness is where I hide
There where no one else dares abide
Yet into my life You come, O Lord
You, to whom, all my life is as an open door
Away you brush the thin layers of my outer mask
For even the thickest of walls, for You, would not be much of a task.
Deeper and deeper you delve within
Past all the muck, past all the sin
You wash it all clean with Your water of life
Freeing me from all my hate and strife
Community
Christ in you, Christ in me
This is what it means to be a true community
Christ in you, Christ in me
This is what God desires, His earthly Trinity
Your heart beating next to mine,
My heart beating next to yours
And at the center, there is God
In our midst
Christ in you, Christ in me
This is what it means to be a true community
Christ in you, Christ in me
This is what God desires, His earthly Trinity
For there are loads we cannot carry alone
Never were meant to be on our own
But side by side,
Let me carry you,
And when I’m tired
You’ll carry me too.
And we can can’t carry on
That’s when we’ll look to God
And find He’s been with us all along
Christ in you, Christ in me
This is what it means to be a true community
Christ in you, Christ in me
This is what God desires, His earthly Trinity
This road of life is long and narrow
With much toil and real sorrow
Yet hold to me,
As I hold to you,
And we will grow in His embrace.
Immanuel
Son of God, Immanuel
Tonight You came with us to dwell
You came to show us how to live
You came to us eternal life to give
Child of the King, You came from above
To teach us the true meaning of love
Took on our flesh, took on our sin
Our earthly burden, You took within
By Your hands, our wounds were healed
With Your blood our hearts are sealed
Teach us this day
To walk in Your way
Almighty Father, watch over us
Protect us from our darkness
Holy Spirit, Who dwells within
Keep us this day from all sin
Jesus, Redeemer, Lover, and Friend
To us Your embrace now extend
As we gather with our family
As we gather with our friends
Your love guides our hearts, as we amble blindly
While we hold hands, Your grace descends
And for those of us, who spend this season alone
As our spirits within us groan
Remind us, I pray, that You are always there.
Remind us, O Lord, that You always care.
The road we walk is treacherous
But You O Lord are ever with us
Give us this day our daily bread
Watch over us as we go to bed.
A-men.
Holistic Evangelism
As in the V.A., here at St. John’s, I have found in many ways I am re-learning not only how to share my faith but also how to grow in it. As some of you know, proselytizing or "aggressive evangelism" is not allowed within my role as chaplain. In fact, in action it is called "religious harassment" and goes right up there with "sexual", "racial", and all other kinds of "harassment." Some might see this policy as an affront to the Evangelical Christian lifestyle which almost assumes most of its members are sharing their faith on a regular basis. Yet I have come to see it as a different kind of invitation. An invitation to live out that famous quote from St. Francis of Assisi, "Preach the Gospel at all times and when necessary use words." It also invites me into what I think is a much more gracious style of evangelism. Rather than actively seeking to save the soul of every veteran under my care, I have chosen instead to meet them where they are and in that place, help them to connect with God as they understand Him. I seek to help them find the tools for getting to know God on their own, rather than assuming my way of knowing Him is best.
There have been a few times where family members have asked me to “save” their relatives under my care. In those times I often state that I believe salvation happens best within the context of an already established relationship. That way the person new in their faith can grow in a safe and comfortable environment. I also point to the fact that I’m not sure it is in my role to save souls anyway. God, in the form of His Holy Spirit is the One Who ultimately does that. My job is to share my faith in the best way I can and for me, that faith is best shared by living my life before them as a testimony to the work of God’s Spirit within me.
There have been a few times where family members have asked me to “save” their relatives under my care. In those times I often state that I believe salvation happens best within the context of an already established relationship. That way the person new in their faith can grow in a safe and comfortable environment. I also point to the fact that I’m not sure it is in my role to save souls anyway. God, in the form of His Holy Spirit is the One Who ultimately does that. My job is to share my faith in the best way I can and for me, that faith is best shared by living my life before them as a testimony to the work of God’s Spirit within me.
Sunday, December 03, 2006
Set in motion
My deepest apologies for the two-month delay in writing all of you. As you might imagine, what with two jobs, trying to have a social life and working towards ordination, my life has been a bit hectic as of late. But fear not, I bring you tidings of great joy ;-) This coming Tuesday (12/5/06) I will be meeting with the Elder Board at Calvary to gain their sponsorship for my ordination. The next step after that will be a meeting with Baptist General Conference’s Ministerial Guidance Committee, which should happen early on in the New Year. Then Calvary will assemble an Ordination Council consisting of pastors and ministers from their staff and that of other surrounding churches which will convene for, what my Associate Pastor called, a “two-hour grilling session.” If you are a pastor who receives this newsletter and would be interested in serving on that council, just let me know and I will pass your name to my Associate Pastor there who is assembling the council. Thanks!
Things are still going fine at St. John’s and Accessible Space, Inc. It’s hard to believe I have already been here for six months. By the way, I know Christmas is around the corner and a number of you may be wondering what to get me. If not, that’s fine too. For those that are, I have decided to post my wish list via Froogle this year. If you want to see it, just go to my Profile here and then click on the link for my “wish list” there. If you’re still at a loss, cash always works or gift certificates to Amazon.com or Christian Book Distributors . Thank you in advance!
Things are still going fine at St. John’s and Accessible Space, Inc. It’s hard to believe I have already been here for six months. By the way, I know Christmas is around the corner and a number of you may be wondering what to get me. If not, that’s fine too. For those that are, I have decided to post my wish list via Froogle this year. If you want to see it, just go to my Profile here and then click on the link for my “wish list” there. If you’re still at a loss, cash always works or gift certificates to Amazon.com or Christian Book Distributors . Thank you in advance!
Saturday, November 11, 2006
Monday, November 06, 2006
What kind of soul is Mike?
| You Are a Prophet Soul |
 You are a gentle soul, with good intentions toward everyone. Selfless and kind, you have great faith in people. Sometimes this faith can lead to disappoinment in the long run. No matter what, you deal with everything in a calm and balanced way. You are a good interpreter, very sensitive, intuitive, caring, and gentle. Concerned about the world, you are good at predicting people's feelings. A seeker of wisdom, you are a life long learner looking for purpose and meaning. You are a great thinker and communicator, but not necessarily a doer. Souls you are most compatible with: Bright Star Soul and Dreaming Soul |
Monday, October 02, 2006
Tough Stuff
Some tough stuff, I know. I hope I did not offend some of you by my honest sharing. These musings are not meant to be authoritative sermons by any means. It is simply a space for me to share with you what is going on in my heart and life. Thank you for listening and understanding. As always your prayers are much appreciated. I hope each of you are well and continuing to draw close to God with me even as He is drawing us close to Him. He is the hope we hold onto, the source of all the faith we have, and the love that continually draws us closer. May God bless each of you.
Meaningful Words (10/2/06)
For poems this month, I chose one that some of you are familiar with and a few that you are not. The middle two were written after some of my discussions with a few of my more Calvinistic friends. The last was written back when I was in college and going through a hard time there.
Lies & Truth
I'm feeling kinda venerable tonight
My mixed up emotions are bubbling through
What I know as truth seems so boring
And deception seems so exciting
Though I know the difference between them
Chorus:
Lord, will You be my strength?
When I don’t want to be strong?
Will You carry me along
When it all seems so far gone
Lord, will you help me fight
When it feels like the battle’s already been lost
To lie is sin and sin is death
In truth is life or so I’ve been told
Yet the lie looks so attractive
And the truth just seems so covered with dust
For a lie can look like the truth
Just as a wolf can don sheep’s clothing
But in truth it’s still a lie
Despite it’s appearance otherwise.
Yes, this must be a wolf in sheep’s clothing
And my resistance is low
Chorus
I know my emotions can fool me
But, man, what I feel seems so real
You say tomorrow will be different
Yet today still has so much left to live
The devil he is so clever
And I am so naïve
Chorus
And it all comes down to choice
Will I choose to live or die
Will I choose to believe the lie
Or embrace the truth that is Christ
To stand strong in His might
And know He is on my side
This, at least, I know is true
God is real and He cares for me.
Why God? (Song of the Cursed)
In Romans 9:22-23 Paul writes that there vessels made only to be destroyed in the end. If those vessels were given a song, this is what I think they would sing.
With nail-pierced hands I was fearfully and wonderfully made,
Yet to return that love, for me that You forbade.
While I may cry desperately to You
To Your Own Nature You must be true.
Though you know the hairs on my head
It seems I’d be better off dead.
For I have no hope
No unbreaking rope
Your promises do not apply.
Yes, I am destined to die.
When I ask You, “Why?”
You simply cry,
“My Glory, it was for My Glory.”
Must It Be?
My heart aches as I read Your Word
For it seems for some it is absurd.
Though they read Your promises of hope and joy
For them it is something they can never employ.
I join Habakkuk and Abraham
And ask, “Must it be so?”
Like Jesus I ask for the cup to be taken,
Yet I know it’s Your Will
It must be so.
Nothing?
My children, I came to live with you.
I gave up My crown and throne to come be with you.
For 33 years I spoke truth and taught My ways.
Though I spoke the truth with love . . .
Still you heard what you wanted.
I spoke of love and grace,
You hear works and striving.
Does it mean nothing to you?
My children, I died for you.
For a long way I carried your sin.
I wore the crown of suffering.
You nailed Me to your cross.
For six hours I hung there praying for you.
I prayed for God to take My life.
To take it as payment for your debts.
I breathed My last in love.
Does it mean nothing?
My children, I stand before you.
My hands outstretched in love.
Look, see My hands and My feet.
The wounds that speak of sacrifice.
These wounds shed blood mixed with tears.
My children, I love you!
Does it mean nothing?
My children, you say it means everything.
You stand and sing My praises.
You claim My cross for your cause.
Yet your actions glorify Me not.
Your lips speak My Word.
Yet your heart plays a different chord.
Does it mean nothing?
Does it mean nothing to you?
DOES IT MEAN NOTHING?
DOES IT MEAN NOTHING TO YOU?
I'm feeling kinda venerable tonight
My mixed up emotions are bubbling through
What I know as truth seems so boring
And deception seems so exciting
Though I know the difference between them
Chorus:
Lord, will You be my strength?
When I don’t want to be strong?
Will You carry me along
When it all seems so far gone
Lord, will you help me fight
When it feels like the battle’s already been lost
To lie is sin and sin is death
In truth is life or so I’ve been told
Yet the lie looks so attractive
And the truth just seems so covered with dust
For a lie can look like the truth
Just as a wolf can don sheep’s clothing
But in truth it’s still a lie
Despite it’s appearance otherwise.
Yes, this must be a wolf in sheep’s clothing
And my resistance is low
Chorus
I know my emotions can fool me
But, man, what I feel seems so real
You say tomorrow will be different
Yet today still has so much left to live
The devil he is so clever
And I am so naïve
Chorus
And it all comes down to choice
Will I choose to live or die
Will I choose to believe the lie
Or embrace the truth that is Christ
To stand strong in His might
And know He is on my side
This, at least, I know is true
God is real and He cares for me.
Why God? (Song of the Cursed)
In Romans 9:22-23 Paul writes that there vessels made only to be destroyed in the end. If those vessels were given a song, this is what I think they would sing.
With nail-pierced hands I was fearfully and wonderfully made,
Yet to return that love, for me that You forbade.
While I may cry desperately to You
To Your Own Nature You must be true.
Though you know the hairs on my head
It seems I’d be better off dead.
For I have no hope
No unbreaking rope
Your promises do not apply.
Yes, I am destined to die.
When I ask You, “Why?”
You simply cry,
“My Glory, it was for My Glory.”
Must It Be?
My heart aches as I read Your Word
For it seems for some it is absurd.
Though they read Your promises of hope and joy
For them it is something they can never employ.
I join Habakkuk and Abraham
And ask, “Must it be so?”
Like Jesus I ask for the cup to be taken,
Yet I know it’s Your Will
It must be so.
Nothing?
My children, I came to live with you.
I gave up My crown and throne to come be with you.
For 33 years I spoke truth and taught My ways.
Though I spoke the truth with love . . .
Still you heard what you wanted.
I spoke of love and grace,
You hear works and striving.
Does it mean nothing to you?
My children, I died for you.
For a long way I carried your sin.
I wore the crown of suffering.
You nailed Me to your cross.
For six hours I hung there praying for you.
I prayed for God to take My life.
To take it as payment for your debts.
I breathed My last in love.
Does it mean nothing?
My children, I stand before you.
My hands outstretched in love.
Look, see My hands and My feet.
The wounds that speak of sacrifice.
These wounds shed blood mixed with tears.
My children, I love you!
Does it mean nothing?
My children, you say it means everything.
You stand and sing My praises.
You claim My cross for your cause.
Yet your actions glorify Me not.
Your lips speak My Word.
Yet your heart plays a different chord.
Does it mean nothing?
Does it mean nothing to you?
DOES IT MEAN NOTHING?
DOES IT MEAN NOTHING TO YOU?
Sharing My Life: Consequences versus Judgment
Ministering to the grieving and those in crisis has lead me to reflect a lot these days on my theology of God’s judgment. Some would say that those I minister to are in the hospital or assisted living facility because of some sin in their life or because of the fallen state on this world. Others would say they are casualties in an unseen spiritual war that has been raging on since before time began. I, myself, have never been able to reconcile the whole idea of a wrathful God. My heart kept on asking how a compassionate God could lovingly create children that were predestined to destruction. Sure, I had no problem being one of God’s elect, but, to put it as one of my favorite others does, I could never fully stomach the idea of being part of “a party going on in God’s living room while torture is going on down in His dungeon” (Brian D. MacLaren, The Last Word and the Word After That). I am still working all this out in my heart and mind and reflecting with God about it all. The easy pat answers aren’t really satisfying to me anymore. Even as I offer them to those I minister to, sometimes I find myself wondering, “Do I really buy what I’m saying? Do they?”
As I reflect back on this, I keep on coming back to the whole idea of becoming. If there is a heaven and a hell, and I do believe there is, then it seems to me as if we spend the whole of our lives preparing for one or the other. As Andy says in Shawshank Redemption,“ Get busy living or get busy dying.” Or to put it more biblically “But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed” (2Corinthians 4:7-9. We do not become who we are over night. Every choice we make, every step we take, shapes us into who we are and who we will be. And I believe God is with us the whole way through. Shaping and molding us into the people He desires us to be. The question is will we respond to His leading or continue to listen to the voices around us. Will be become like Jesus or will we become like the world?
As I reflect back on this, I keep on coming back to the whole idea of becoming. If there is a heaven and a hell, and I do believe there is, then it seems to me as if we spend the whole of our lives preparing for one or the other. As Andy says in Shawshank Redemption,“ Get busy living or get busy dying.” Or to put it more biblically “But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed” (2Corinthians 4:7-9. We do not become who we are over night. Every choice we make, every step we take, shapes us into who we are and who we will be. And I believe God is with us the whole way through. Shaping and molding us into the people He desires us to be. The question is will we respond to His leading or continue to listen to the voices around us. Will be become like Jesus or will we become like the world?
Life Update: Too Busy?
Whoah, has a month gone by already? It seems like just last week I was celebrating my 31st birthday with some friends. Sometimes it feels like life is moving way too fast these days. Working two jobs can be really tiring at times, physically, emotionally and spiritually. Especially with the jobs I have. It can be truly draining to work with people in such intense situations day in and day out. Don’t get me wrong, I love both my jobs and all the people I work with, but sometimes the sheer volume of people I meet with every week gets a tad overwhelming.
At times like this, I take hope in the knowledge that this is only a temporary situation. By spring of 2007 at the latest, I am planning on being ordained with the Baptist General Conference through Calvary Church. With that added qualification, I should be that much more able to secure a full-time chaplaincy position. In the meantime, I know that God is with me throughout this and I find peace and hope in knowing that I am right where He needs me to be at this moment. I am not yet who He created me to be, but what I am going through now is necessary to be who He is developing me into.
At times like this, I take hope in the knowledge that this is only a temporary situation. By spring of 2007 at the latest, I am planning on being ordained with the Baptist General Conference through Calvary Church. With that added qualification, I should be that much more able to secure a full-time chaplaincy position. In the meantime, I know that God is with me throughout this and I find peace and hope in knowing that I am right where He needs me to be at this moment. I am not yet who He created me to be, but what I am going through now is necessary to be who He is developing me into.
Saturday, September 09, 2006
Chaplaincy at St. John’s
The Job
My official title at St. John's is Weekend Chaplain, so I am there mostly on Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays. I also come in on Thursdays to meet and interact with the rest of the Spiritual Care staff who are there during the rest of the week. On Fridays I come in early with pray with those patients going in for surgery. Then on Saturdays and Sundays I come in for four hours each day to tour the floors for patients who need to see a chaplain and visit with those who will not be there on Monday. Most of my visits consist of listening to the patient's concerns and carrying those with them to the Lord in prayer. That, in brief, is my job description as a chaplain.
The Philosophy
Sounds pretty simple, right? Sometimes it is, sometimes it's quite challenging to be there with patients. A lot of this depends on how the individual patient is working through their own concerns. There is also a deeper over-arching motivation for me. Some of you have read or heard my Ephesians 2:10 sermon in which I share about how we are each God's unique children, created to know Him and be know in and through Him, and how through that knowing we will become who He created us to be. For those of you who are not familiar with that sermon, I'd be happy to send you a copy. Anyway, in part of the sermon I share about how we all have a habit of hiding our true selves from each other and even from ourselves. We each don masks everyday to be the people we feel and have been taught that we are supposed to be. Yet in a moment of crisis, I find that all the masks come off and the true person developing underneath it all comes to the surface. Sometimes we like who we are in those cases, sometimes we don't. Many of the people I encounter at the hospital are like this. Life seems to have pulled the rug out from under them and they are unsure how to react. As a chaplain, it is my desire to create a safe place where people can explore this. To be comfortable being who they are amongst all this mess of life and know that they are accepted, loved and cherished. In my reading of the Gospels, that was how Jesus interacted with those around Him and as His disciple, I wish to do likewise.
My official title at St. John's is Weekend Chaplain, so I am there mostly on Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays. I also come in on Thursdays to meet and interact with the rest of the Spiritual Care staff who are there during the rest of the week. On Fridays I come in early with pray with those patients going in for surgery. Then on Saturdays and Sundays I come in for four hours each day to tour the floors for patients who need to see a chaplain and visit with those who will not be there on Monday. Most of my visits consist of listening to the patient's concerns and carrying those with them to the Lord in prayer. That, in brief, is my job description as a chaplain.
The Philosophy
Sounds pretty simple, right? Sometimes it is, sometimes it's quite challenging to be there with patients. A lot of this depends on how the individual patient is working through their own concerns. There is also a deeper over-arching motivation for me. Some of you have read or heard my Ephesians 2:10 sermon in which I share about how we are each God's unique children, created to know Him and be know in and through Him, and how through that knowing we will become who He created us to be. For those of you who are not familiar with that sermon, I'd be happy to send you a copy. Anyway, in part of the sermon I share about how we all have a habit of hiding our true selves from each other and even from ourselves. We each don masks everyday to be the people we feel and have been taught that we are supposed to be. Yet in a moment of crisis, I find that all the masks come off and the true person developing underneath it all comes to the surface. Sometimes we like who we are in those cases, sometimes we don't. Many of the people I encounter at the hospital are like this. Life seems to have pulled the rug out from under them and they are unsure how to react. As a chaplain, it is my desire to create a safe place where people can explore this. To be comfortable being who they are amongst all this mess of life and know that they are accepted, loved and cherished. In my reading of the Gospels, that was how Jesus interacted with those around Him and as His disciple, I wish to do likewise.
Sunday, September 03, 2006
Defining my Jobs
Okay, I think I've been at both of my new jobs just long enough to be able to let you in on what I'm actually doing for a living. At the same time, I know some of you are more interested in the why rather than the what. However, in both of my jobs, the why motivates the what, so it's sometimes hard to distinguish between the two.
Let me try my hand first at working as a Personal Care Attendant (PCA). The "what" of this job differs with each client. I happen to be working with Accessible Space, Inc. (ASI), a company that builds apartments for the handicapped and offers PCA services to those that qualify. In my building there are 5 such clients and I usually share them with one or two other PCA's. With each client, the PCA works to help them do things that they can no longer do because of their particular handicap. Sometimes this means preparing meals for them and helping them eat. Other times, it means cleaning up after them and helping them change cloths. It truly is humbling work.
Which brings me to the why. Some of you who have been with me for a few years, may remember the last time I worked as a PCA. Most of what I said then, still applies here:
In my ministry to the handicapped through my work at Our House, I am doing an incarnational work. You see, when Christ came down to be with us He retained all of His divine qualities, but He also knew that if He tapped into His full potential even once, His whole mission on earth would be canceled. He could have called down legions of angels in the Garden of Gethsemane , yet He knew He needed to go to the Cross (Matt. 26:53-54). There were many times throughout His time on earth when using His divine powers seemingly would have been to His advantage. Yet He resisted this temptation because He had a higher purpose in mind: The fulfillment of His mission, that of saving His People and fulfilling the scriptures. In the same way, I too have a mission in my work with the handicapped that restricts some of my capabilities. For example, part of my work there is to help the residents go through certain programs designed to help them become more independent. Now, it is fully within my power to do these tasks for them or even physically lead them through each time, and believe me there have been many times I have been tempted to do this. However, I know that if I do, my whole purpose of promoting that residentÂ?s independence would be thwarted. If anything, I would be increasing their dependence on me as a care attendant, and while that may feed my ego and make me feel all good inside, it does little to forward the action on their independence.
What's different this time is that most of my clients here are already as "independent" as they can be within the limits of their handicaps. My job is to help those limits not be as confining.
Let me try my hand first at working as a Personal Care Attendant (PCA). The "what" of this job differs with each client. I happen to be working with Accessible Space, Inc. (ASI), a company that builds apartments for the handicapped and offers PCA services to those that qualify. In my building there are 5 such clients and I usually share them with one or two other PCA's. With each client, the PCA works to help them do things that they can no longer do because of their particular handicap. Sometimes this means preparing meals for them and helping them eat. Other times, it means cleaning up after them and helping them change cloths. It truly is humbling work.
Which brings me to the why. Some of you who have been with me for a few years, may remember the last time I worked as a PCA. Most of what I said then, still applies here:
In my ministry to the handicapped through my work at Our House, I am doing an incarnational work. You see, when Christ came down to be with us He retained all of His divine qualities, but He also knew that if He tapped into His full potential even once, His whole mission on earth would be canceled. He could have called down legions of angels in the Garden of Gethsemane , yet He knew He needed to go to the Cross (Matt. 26:53-54). There were many times throughout His time on earth when using His divine powers seemingly would have been to His advantage. Yet He resisted this temptation because He had a higher purpose in mind: The fulfillment of His mission, that of saving His People and fulfilling the scriptures. In the same way, I too have a mission in my work with the handicapped that restricts some of my capabilities. For example, part of my work there is to help the residents go through certain programs designed to help them become more independent. Now, it is fully within my power to do these tasks for them or even physically lead them through each time, and believe me there have been many times I have been tempted to do this. However, I know that if I do, my whole purpose of promoting that residentÂ?s independence would be thwarted. If anything, I would be increasing their dependence on me as a care attendant, and while that may feed my ego and make me feel all good inside, it does little to forward the action on their independence.
What's different this time is that most of my clients here are already as "independent" as they can be within the limits of their handicaps. My job is to help those limits not be as confining.
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Life Lessons from FireFly
I found this on a freind's MySpace profile and felt compelled to include it here. This is for all you out fellow FireFly fans out there who also happen to be my friends ;-)
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