Friday, April 21, 2006

A "Serenity" Prayer

I was watching Serenity again today and was struck by a prayer Shepard Book shared:

"Lord, I'm walking Your way. Let me in for my feet are sore and my cloths are ragged. Look in my eyes, Lord, and my sins will play out on them as on a screen. Read them all, forgive what You can and put me on my path. There I'll walk on until You bid me rest. "

If you're curious to hear it yourself, you'll find it among the deleted scenes. What strikes me is the humble plainness. No eloquent language or phrasing, just an host plea for mercy. Reminds me a lot of Jesus' parable of the Tax Collector and the Pharisee in Luke 18. The world may look to the words, but God sees right through to the heart.

Some of you may note that it lacks the "customary" "in Jesus Name." It doesn't even end with "amen." Yet remember, prayer is not so much about requesting things as it is about building a relationship between you and God by sharing your heart with Him and letting Him share His with you. Where did we get the idea that we needed to end our prayers in that fashion anyway? Are we trying to remind God of His promise in John 14? Are our prayers really made more powerful or meaningful based on how they are worded? Please don't misunderstand me, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with praying in that way. It's just sometimes I think we place more emphasis on the exterior and not so much on the interior. When you think about it, who we are inside is really the true us and that is who God is concerned with. He isn't fooled by our play-acting. And I say thank goodness for that. "Just be who you are.", He says, "That's really all I see anyway."

Friday, April 14, 2006

Good News!

Hi everyone,

I just wanted to drop you all a quick note to let you know that I got the Condo Chaplain job at St. John's down in Saint Paul! The position will start the first week of June which gives me the rest of April and May to work out the logistics and get moved in. I'm still putting together all the necessary pieces to make the most of my time there, but now at least this foundation piece is firmly in place. In May's newsletter I'll hopefully be able to fill you in on the details of when the move will be taking place and how those of you who are willing and able can help. I'd also love to have a farewell commissioning party of some sort. Let me know if any of you have any ideas or would want to help with that as well. Thanks! Hope all is well with each of you. God bless!
In His Grip,

Mike Willard

Monday, April 10, 2006

Letting Go Again

• Mike’s Musings (04/10/2006) •

Dear family & friends,

• Life Update: Still in Transition, Part 2


This Thursday (04/13/2006) I am scheduled for a second interview for the Condo Chaplain position at St. John’s in Maplewood, MN at 10:30 am. Your prayers would be appreciated. Pray for wisdom and discernment for both the Spiritual Care staff at St. John’s and myself. This job is not a full-time chaplain position, but getting it would take me one more step in that direction. In addition, I have contacted a local Baptist General Conference official who is willing to help me find a church in the area with whom to pursue ordination and we both know a common acquaintance in the area who manages a local Caribou store there in the Cities. Maybe he could give me more hours.

I have also applied at a number of other different job places around here, just in case I don’t get that job. My hope is that I’ll have a workable job situation by the end of April. If it does end up that I’m still here in St. Cloud, I can probably hook up with a near by church to pursue ordination with. I’m learning to take my time with this and let God show me how He desires me to walk through this.

• Sharing My Journey: Letting Go Again

It seems fitting to me that it is Easter season and here I am, once again, learning to “let go and let God.” Back in Jesus’ day, this was a time for the disciples to set aside their expectations of Who Jesus was and what it meant that He had come to save them. If you look through the Gospel accounts of Holy Week, you can see the disciples are still wresting with the idea of Jesus coming to die. They still had allusions of Him gaining political power and overthrowing Rome. James and John even ask to sit on Jesus’ right and left hand “in glory” (Mark 10:37) much to the incredulity of His other disciples (Mark 10:41). Yet the time was drawing near when what they thought would happen and what would actually happen would finally collide. In the aftermath of that collision, the disciples would be left with a choice. Would they cling to their old ideas and assumptions or embrace reality? They could no longer hold on to both at the same time. They had to totally let go of one to fully take hold of the other.

I too must let go of some old ideas, in order to fully take hold of the new. I have to let go of the idea of getting a job that will have everything I want now. If I don’t, how will I see the gradual steps God is laying out before me? I still want it all now, yet God says again, “Good things take time” and “As you grow stronger in Me, so things will become clearer.” God prepares His people for the tasks He appoints to them and does not give us more than they are ready for. Every step we take is preparation for the next one.

As I think through these things, I am reminded of a poem that I wrote last year and the song that went with it. The poem and song were called “Let Go." Both are available in the two posts previous to this one. I am also reminded of song by the group Pray for Rain appropriately called “I Don’t Understand.”:

I retreat
By myself at the back of my brain
I cannot see
What You're showing me through this pain
I have found
That I have found
Nothing for so long

Chorus
I don't understand
I don't need to
I know You've a plan
You will see through
It is in Your hands
I believe You

I say goodbye
I leave my loved ones far behind
I'm asking
Why is this is the story of my life
I have found
That I have found
Nothing for so long

Chorus

I was only wondering
I've been trying to understand
I know there is more
So much more than I can see

Chorus 2x

Well, that’s it for this month from this neck of God’s Kingdom. Thank you again to each of you for joining me as I share my life with you in this fashion. I pray God will continue to draw you closer to Him and make you more like Himself during this Holy Week. May He continue to open your eyes to His overflowing blessings already in your life.

In His Grip,

Michel Jon Willard

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

"Let Go" lyrics

Here are the lyrics for my song available in the previous post below:

Let Go
The Father:
I invite you, My child, to let go.
Let go of your need to worry for it really does you no good.
Let go of your need to control for you really have none.
Let go of your need for a plan for I am all you really ever need!

I invite you, My child, to let Me in.
Let Me into your concerns for I can bear your load.
Let Me into your life for I do know what I am doing.
Let Me into your heart for I am the One you were created for.

I invite you, My child, to know the truth.
Know that I care for you and I will see to your needs.
Know that I am taking care of them even now.
Know that I am Your Faithful Father.

His child:
Lord, help me to trust when I don’t want to trust
Lord, help me to love when I don’t want to love
Lord, help to give, when I don’t want to give
To give my life to You.

For You, O Lord, are the Lover of my soul
And You, O Lord, are faithful
Yes, You O Lord, will watch over me
And care for me better than I ever could.

"Let Go"

this is an audio post - click to play

Monday, April 03, 2006

Is God Confusing?

"God is not a god of confusion" or so I have often heard friends say or pray in reference to me or others who are going through a hard time. Well, while this may be the case with God, Himself, I have often found it is far from true with His followers. So, I decided to track down the actual scriptural reference used here. The verse, as found in the fourteenth chapter of Paul's first letter to the Corinthian Church, verse 33, reads as follows: "for God is not a God of confusion but of peace, as in all the churches of the saints." It is part of a larger discussion of church conduct and is speaking specifically about sharing prophesies. It seems that in the Corinthian church, the common practice had been for everyone to share what God had revealed to them all at once and leave the sorting to the individual listeners. Paul, however, advises them to prophesy one person at a time and with an interpreter present, if necessary. Sounds like good advice to me.

However, while I have heard this verse used in the context of church conduct, I have also heard it used in the context of people's lives, my own included. It seems, at least according to using it in this context, that those who are confused in their lives are not in sync with God. For if they were, then their lives would make sense, both to themselves and to those looking in. However, there are plenty of people in the Bible whose lives did not make sense those around them, nor did it at times make sense to them. Do you think Abraham totally understood what was going on when God said Sarah would have a child? Come on, man, the guy was one hundred years old and Sarah was in her nineties. If that happened today, we would all blame it on fertility drugs and wonder about the suitability of the parents. Or how about Peter, leaving his thriving fishing business to go and follow Jesus. Did that make sense?

When did following God and making sense become inseparable? When did logic and order become tools required for discerning God's will? Maybe I'm going a bit too far, but sometimes I wonder. In trying to make such sense of God and His Will for our lives, are we not merely just trying to put God within the box of our own understanding? Are we replacing the God of mystery with the God we can understand? If so, are we not committing idolatry of a sort? Okay, I think that's enough for now. Maybe I better think more about this and come back. Feel free to comment in the mean time.