Meaningful Words (6/30/07)

Continuing to think along those lines reminds of me a few poems I wrote:

Forgiven
The Father:
I have already forgiven your sin.
Why do you bring it before Me again?

I have already washed you clean.
Why do you insist on playing in the dirt?

Accept My forgiveness.
Receive My cleansing.

Why do you cling to that which I have already released you from?
Why do you remain in the dungeon?
The chains have already been broken and the key thrown away.

The gates of iron have been flung wide open
And yet still you cower in this cage of your own making

The light has been shown forth
Yet you prefer the darkness

What more can I do for you, My child?

How else can I bid you come?
The table has already been set and the dinner bell is ringing
Is it possible you have not heard Me calling?

Answer Me and I will give you the desires of your heart.
I am your Father and have always been faithful.
Is this not the truth?
Listen to your heart, My child.
You know Who I am.
You have always known.

His child:
Come unto me, O Desire of my heart!
Beckon me unto Your Feast, O Satisfier of my deepest hunger!
Dance with Me, O Romancer of my soul!
Set me beside the still waters, O Author of my peace!
Run with me, O my Ever True Companion
Guide my steps, O Victorious Winner of the race set before me!

You Who began this good work in me,
You are my Faithful Father
And You will finish what You have started!
Yes, You will finish what you have started!

Let Go
The Father:
I invite you, My child, to let go.
Let go of your need to worry,
for it really does you no good.
Let go of your need to control,
for you really have none.
Let go of your need for a plan,
for I am all you really ever need!

I invite you, My child, to let Me in.
Let Me into your concerns,
for I can bear your load.
Let Me into your life,
for I do know what I am doing.
Let Me into your heart,
for I am the One you were created for.

I invite you, My child,
to know the truth.
Know that I care for you and I will see to your needs.
Know that I am taking care of them even now.
Know that I am Your Faithful Father.

His child:
Lord, help me to trust when I don’t want to trust
Lord, help me to love when I don’t want to love
Lord, help to give, when I don’t want to give
To give my life to You.

For You, O Lord, are the Lover of my soul
And You, O Lord, are faithful
Yes, You O Lord, will watch over me
And care for me better than I ever could.

I end, You begin
God, I’m tired, I’m through, I can’t do anymore
Since when did this life become such a chore?
My body is weary, my spirits are low
Why does it seem what I reap is far from what I sow?
Everything in me says go on and die
Yet deep inside me, there You still lie.

You say, it’s good I’m tired, it’s good I’m through, It’s good I can’t do anymore.
Now the real work begins, now I can really soar.
If I am at my end, that means I must turn to You again
Let Your Spirit refresh me, and Your blood wash me clean
For when I end, then You truly do begin

Thank you for joining me once again as I share my life and ministry with you in the fashion. I pray God spoke to you through this sharing of His work in and through me. As Paul said to his church in Philippi: “I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” (Philippians 1:3-6).

Sharing My Life (6/30/07): Going Biking with God

Speaking of bumpy rides, I was sharing my career and life journey with a friend of mine and he shared a little story from The Twelve Step Prayer Book where our relationship with God is likened to riding a tandem bike with Him up front. The road isn’t always straight and narrow and God definitely has a habit of taking both long ands short cuts. Yet through it all, He stays faithful. There have definitely been sometimes where my faith has felt a bit rocky, but through it all, He has held me firm and I know He will continue to guide me true. I’m posting the entire story on my blog, so you can snag a look at it there.

Thinking along those lines reminds me of a sermon that I heard at Evensong. It’s an Sunday evening service put on by Christian Student Fellowship, a college ministry, at Calvary. Anyway, the pastor there was speaking on walking in sync with God and likened it to being yoked with Jesus, like in Matthew 11:28-30. If we run too far ahead, Jesus will just stay put and let the yoke snap up back in to place. Ouch! On the other hand, if we drag out feet and just sit there, He’ll keep on going and the board designed to keep up in place will hit us in the back. Also ouch! Eventually we learn to keep in step with Jesus and thus we walk in sync with God. Sometimes I wonder if growing really has to be such a painful process ;-)

Life Update (6/30/07): Just a little while longer . . .

I met with Calvary’s Senior Pastor a few weeks ago and after giving me his comments on my Statement of Faith, we finally set an approximate date for the Ordination Council and Service. I wanted to set them up a few weeks apart so that if Council decides, for whatever reason, to delay my ordination, the Service can be rescheduled without too much inconvenience. So, it now looks like the Council will happen in September, with the Service hopefully following shortly there after in October. I know it’s been a bumpy ride, but if you hold on with me for just a little while longer I think we just might make it there ;-)

Bike Ride with God by Anonymous

Taken from the 12 Step Prayer Book:

Bike Ride with God

At first I saw God as my observer, my judge, keeping track of the things I did wrong, so as to know whether I merited heaven or hell when I die. He was out there sort of like the President. I recognized His picture when I saw it, but I didn't really know Him.

But later on when I recognized my Higher Power, it seemed as though life was rather like a bike ride; but it was a tandem bike, and I noticed that God was in the back helping me pedal.

I don't know just when it was that He suggested we change places, but life has not been the same since...life with my God makes life exciting.

When I had control, I knew the way. It was rather boring, but predictable. It was the shortest distance between two points.

But when He took the lead, He knew delightful long cuts, up mountains, and through rocky places and at breakneck speeds. It was all I could do to hang on! Even though it looked like madness, He said "pedal."

I worried and was anxious and asked, "Where are You taking me?" He laughed and didn't answer, and I started to trust.

I forgot my boring life and entered into the adventure; and when I'd say, "I'm scared," He'd lean back and touch my hand.

He took me to people with gifts that I needed, gifts of healing acceptance, and joy. They gave me their gifts to take on my journey; our journey, God's and mine.

And we were off again. He said, "Give the gifts away. They're extra baggage, too much weight." So I did, to the people we met, and I found that in giving I received, and still our burden was light.

I did not trust Him at first, in control of my life. I thought He'd wreck it. But He knew bike secrets, knew how to make it bend to take sharp corners, jump to clear high places filled with rocks, fly to shorten scary passages.

And I'm learning to shut up and pedal in the strangest places, and I'm beginning to enjoy the view and the cool breeze on my face with my delightful constant companion, my God.

And when I'm sure I can't do any more, He just smiles and says, "PEDAL"!

Meaningful Words (6/2/07)

I often hesitate when it comes to defining exactly how we can grow as Christians. I’m not quite sure why, but it really feels like I’m being a modern day Pharisee. Trying to define exactly what it means to grow up spiritually as if the church is another business or corporation where our value is based on our performance and it is being constantly revisited and re-evaluated. Maybe that’s why these two poems came to mind :

Pharisee
Sometimes I feel like a modern-day Pharisee
My outside is all nice and shiny
But inside I’m greasy, grimy

They tell me I’m great, they tell me I’m wonderful
If only they knew the truth, they’d tell me that I’m really full

But I keep it all inside
There in the darkness is where I hide
There where no one else dares abide

Yet into my life You come, O Lord
You, to whom, all my life is as an open door

Away you brush the thin layers of my outer mask
For even the thickest of walls, for You, would not be much of a task.

Deeper and deeper you delve within
Past all the muck, past all the sin

You wash it all clean with Your water of life
Freeing me from all my hate and strife

Lord, I Would Die for You
*If it would mean the salvation
Of one more sinner
Lord, I’d die for you.

For I cried the servant’s tears
It feels like I’ve served for a thousand years
And yet still the joy fulfills me.

But sometimes in the dark
You know I feel so afraid
Afraid to tell them of You
It seems easier to die.

*
I try to follow Your Word
But at times to do so seems almost absurd.
Lord, I want to do Your will.
But instead I just lie still.
And feel the warm embrace of Your love

*
*2I want to be a sacrifice
Lord, take all of me.
I want to be a sacrifice.
Lord, take all of me.
All of me.

All my selfish fear
Let Your precious blood wash away each tear
All my evil sin
Cleanse me from within
Till nothing remains
And there are no more stains
But all that is left is Your love.
And Your Holy Spirit in me as a dove.

**2

Thank you for joining me once again as I share my life and ministry with you in the fashion. I pray God spoke to you through this sharing of His work in and through me. As Paul said to his church in Colosse: “For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding. And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light. For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins” (Colossians 1:9-14).

Sharing My Life: Heart & Goals (6/2/07)

As part of my one-year anniversary at St. John’s, my supervisor took me through an annual performance evaluation where we looked at how I had done in the past year and what areas needed improvement. Not that I did a shabby job, but here at HealthEast, they have a motto of “If it isn’t broke, make it better,” so there is always room for improvement. Most of this is done through setting goals, coming up with strategies to meet those goals and following through with it all. All of the strategies and goals needed to be Specific, Attainable and Measurable (S.A.M.), which means they needed to focus on particular areas that needed improvement, needed to addressable and changeable by me, the goal-setter, and needed to be able to show the improvement made. So, I couldn’t just have a goal of being a better chaplain, I needed to define what it meant for me to improve as a chaplain, that definition needed to contain factors that I could control and I needed to be able to show exactly how I had improved as a chaplain.

In making goals for my work life, I began to ponder how it might work to make goals in other areas of my life, especially in the area of spiritual growth. Can I make S.A.M. goals and strategies for my spiritual growth? For me, one of the classic scriptural references for how to grow spiritually is this: “For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins” (2Peter 1:5-9) So, the question then becomes, can I make goals and strategies to grow in goodness, knowledge, self-control, perseverance, godliness, brotherly kindness and love? Hmm. Good question. In reflecting further, I came to realization that many of the goals and strategies like reading more books to growing in knowledge or praying more to grow in godliness were more behavioral changes than heart changes. And while behavioral change is good, perseverance, self control and the rest are best grown from the inside out. What’s more, changing the heart takes not only a lot of work on my part, it also takes a touch of grace from God, and that those heart changes take root as I grow them through fellowship with God and you, my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ and in humanity. So, now I want to open the floor to you. What do you think? Feel free to share your thoughts. You can reply to this email, post a comment on my blog or my Facebook profile. What has helped you grow spiritually? What have you seen work in other’s lives as well? We all want to grow more and more like Christ, don’t we? So, let’s talk about how we can help each other do just that.

Life Update: One-Year Anniversary (6/2/07)

Yes, it’s true. I found it hard to believe at first also, but I have now been with St. John’s Hospital for one full year. In that year I have become more adept at functioning as a chaplain in an acute care hospital and have made some progress to getting ordained with the Baptist General Conference. I’ll be meeting with the pastors at Calvary in the coming weeks to discuss the next steps in that process.