Meaningful Words (5/4/08)

As I have found myself struggling to balance my life in this world and God’s, I have been reminded of a few of my poems:

Lies & Truth
I'm feeling kinda venerable tonight
My mixed up emotions are bubbling through
What I know as truth seems so boring
And deception seems so exciting
Though I know the difference between them

Chorus:
Lord, will You be my strength?
When I don’t want to be strong?
Will You carry me along
When it all seems so far gone
Lord, will you help me fight
When it feels like the battle’s already been lost

To lie is sin and sin is death
In truth is life or so I’ve been told
Yet the lie looks so attractive
And the truth just seems so covered with dust
For a lie can look like the truth
Just as a wolf can don sheep’s clothing
But in truth it’s still a lie
Despite it’s appearance otherwise.
Yes, this must be a wolf in sheep’s clothing
And my resistance is low

Chorus

I know my emotions can fool me
But, man, what I feel seems so real
You say tomorrow will be different
Yet today still has so much left to live
The devil he is so clever
And I am so naïve

Chorus

And it all comes down to choice
Will I choose to live or die
Will I choose to believe the lie
Or embrace the truth that is Christ
To stand strong in His might
And know He is on my side
This, at least, I know is true
God is real and He cares for me.


The Inner War
I woke up this morning and there you were in my face
The mirror your eyes, my soul your home
My worst enemy, my best friend
Everything I used to be, everything I might be again

Come back into the dark you whisper
But I’m yearning and fighting for the light
It’s so much easier and more comfortable there

Yet I know here is where I must remain

Hide yourself, it’s so much safer
No, I must be true to the world
I cannot don the mask of security
Cannot fake the act of sincerity
When everything I do and say is just a lie

Truth is more powerful than lie
And more powerful still when backed up by life
I know the life I should live
And I pray one day
It will be the life I do live


There is a White
There is a white for this black of ours.
It will show itself in its hour,
But we who hold it in our hearts,
No ray of dark can penetrate our parts.

But what of this light?
What use is it, if it cannot shine bright!
Too often we turn away its source.
We take out our swords,
Made by the hand of Satan,
And slash it into oblivion.

But this light cannot die.
It cannot be swept away.
There are those who have claimed it
And the light lives on in them.

The light has a place in all of our hearts.
Every single one must play its part.
Through them this world will change.
Through them it will exchange
Its darkness for the EVERLASTING LIGHT!

A-men

Well, that is it for this month. Thank you, one and all, for taking the time to read through these wondering thoughts I call my musings. It is my prayer that God has spoken to you through them, drawn you closer to Him and through them has formed you more and more into the likeness of God’s Son, Jesus Christ. That is my continuing prayer for you and I hope you will pray the same for me as well. Thank you again. I hope you are all well.

Sharing My Life (5/4/08): Kingdom of God versus Kingdom of Humanity

As my work life increases, I find myself having to re-learn how to find balance in my life. Reflecting on that has lead to a lot of thinking along the lines of how the values of this world differ from that of our home world, heaven. For a long time I was concerned with finding the perfect wife, career, raising a family and settling down. I thought that was God’s will for my life. Yet increasingly these days I am beginning to realize that God is more interested in forming my character than in helping me find the perfect career. It is true that God wants me to find a good wife and have a satisfying job, but not for the same reasons as I and the world might think. I am finding that God is not so much concerned about my finding the job of my dreams as God is that whatever I am doing I am being formed into the likeness of God’s Son, Jesus Christ. The same is true with every other area of my life. It is not about finding the perfect wife, it is about finding one with whom I can grow closer to God and help her to grow closer as well. If that means settling for being an ILS worker for the rest of my life, so be it. The world might look at that and call me foolish, but they have been wrong before (1Corinthians 1:20).

Life Update (5/4/08): Responsibilities on the rise

These days I find my client load as an Independent Living Skills (ILS) Worker with Accessible Space, Inc. increasing. By the end of this week I will have seven clients, averaging at about three hours each per week. I have had to drop one of my Personal Care Attendant shifts, but all in all it’s turning more and more into full-time employment, though I don’t yet have full-time benefits. Hopefully that will come with time. In the interim, I do enjoy the clients I’m working with in both positions and am having a good time working with them. Just in case you are curious, as an ILS Worker, I help my clients with things like finding a job, filling out applications, balancing their checkbooks and anything else and other such things that help them live independently. I do find myself liking it better than my work as a PCA and it does pay more as well, though the hours aren’t always concrete and reliable.