A Pattern for Spiritual Growth

Some of you know that I have been walking with, and counseling as needed and desired, a friend of mine who has been struggling some with his former church. It seems they were a church that like many today focused a lot on outward appearances. To hear him tell it, you might think the church had become a tad too legalistic in its approach to church discipline and holiness. Now, I'm not saying my friend is right and the church is wrong. I don't have enough facts to make such an accusation, nor am I even in a position to do so. However, his situation does bring to light a pattern that I have seen in a lot of today's churches. That is, how we go about cultivating spiritual growth in each others lives.

There are a number of biblical passages that speak about how to cultivate spiritual growth in our own lives and in the lives of those around us. To cover the full gamut would take a sermon series and many notable authors have written books on the subject. Some might even suspect I'm related to one of those authors. Let me set the story straight right now for the both of us, Dallas Willard and I are not related in any way. Though, when he visited Bethel and I asked him to sign my book, he did sign it, "To cousin Mike . . ." ;-) But I digress. The main passage I find myself drawn to this afternoon is Colossians 3: 1-17

Here is one of the many times we find Paul setting up a pattern for spiritual growth. Notice that there are three areas of our lives affected here: our hearts, our minds and our actions. First, Paul says: "Set your hearts on the things above," (3:1) then he says, "Set your minds on the things above,"(3:2) and finally, the next paragraph speaks of our actions (3: 5-10). The three seem to work together in this passage, as they do in a number of the other passages that speak of this kind of Christian growth. The process starts in the heart of each individual believer, then proceeds to the mind and is completed when shown forth in our actions.

Each part is needed. If our heart is not in it, than we are just going through the motions. At best, we are luke-warm Christians and at worst, we are white-washed sepulchers, modern-day pharisees of the worst kind. If our hearts are in it, but our minds don't follow suit, then it will be a short-lived obedience at best. And lastly, if our hearts and minds are in it, yet our actions have not yet fallen in line, than we need to start following through or else our testimony to the world will be at risk. Yes, God looks beyond the externals to see our heart, but the world stops right at the externals. We need to live in a manner that is pleasing to God and testimonial to the world. It is a tough balancing act, but then no one ever said the Christian life would be easy. Thankfully though, God does say, He will give us the strength needed to do whatever He calls us to (Philippians 4:3).

The problem is many of today's churches seem to choose one of these and favor it high above to other three. There are those who favor the heart and center greatly on God's mercy and grace. There are those who favor the mind and focus mainly on God's truth and righteousness. There are those who favor actions and emphasize God's law and holiness. Yet it sounds like Paul here is saying all three are important. Almost like, you can't have one without the other two. They all work together in the young Christian Spiritual life.

It all starts with the heart, then comes the mind and finally, in time, come the actions. Yet, we all want results. We all want the finished product now. We want to all be instantly sin-free Christians. Thankfully, God has a lot more patience with us than we do with ourselves. Well, I could go on, yet I feel I have probably said more than enough already. So let me close with one of Jesus, parables, that I believe also speaks to this theme:

"Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Phariseee and the other a tax collector. 11 The Pharisee stood up and prayed about himself: 'God, I thank you that I am not like other men - robbers, evildoers, adulterers - or even like this tax collector. 12 I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.'

"But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, 'God, have mercy on me, a sinner.'

"I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted."

- Luke18:10-14 (NIV) -

Coming Home?

• Mike’s Musings (01/23/2006) •

Dear family & friends,

Coming Home?

A few of you know this, most do not, this past Friday my church and I received a letter of resignation from our pastor. He had received a job offer from a larger church and he has decided to take it. The rest of the church that could make it met yesterday evening to decide what to do next. Many ideas were put forth and discussed. We knew we still wanted to meet together but were unsure of the format or time.

As for me, things were a bit different. In many ways, 2:42 Community Church had been the main reason I stayed in Saint Cloud after my time at the V.A. ended. I was planning on being ordained with them and had made plans to get my license to study at SCSU to be a Drug and Alcohol Counselor as a tag along, so I could become a Recovery Chaplain. Now I’m not so sure. Counseling still interests me, yet I’m more and more interested in the spiritual side of it, something none of my courses at SCSU would get close to. In fact, as I have looked around via the Internet, there are few schools that do. Many seminaries and Christian colleges, including Bethel, offer counseling degrees, yet they do not, at least explicitly integrate the spiritual element in the way I’m looking for. The closest one to what I’m looking for is at the Psychological Studies Institute, but that’s all the way in Georgia. Talbot also has an attractive program as part of their Institute for Spiritual Formation, but that’s in California.

So, what am I looking for? Maybe it’s just the books I’ve been reading or the people I’ve been hanging around with, but over the years as I have prayed, I have felt drawn to know how God shapes us into the people He desires us to be. From my biblical studies, I know that God has put His image in each of us (Gen 1), that He longs for us to come to know Him that we might receive His Holy Spirit inside to form us into the image of His Son Jesus Christ (Ephesians 1-2). To do this, we need to crucify our perceptions of ourselves along with Christ (Gal. 2:20) and become resurrected with Him (Col. 3:1) to new life as we are shaped and molded into His Image. In my mind, this happens as we put away our ways and desires of the past and take on the disciplines and virtues of Christ. As we do this more and more, we will exhibit more and more, the fruits of the Spirit (Gal, 5:22-23). This is how we become like Christ. This is what I want to come to an understanding of myself and help others to as well. I want to learn to see how God is shaping me into the man He longs for me to be, not so I can take over, though that may be the desire of some, but so I can cooperate and play along and help others to do the same. This has been the desire of my heart for some time now and I am still struggling to know how to live it out. When I pray, I daily turn this over to God and desire that He be the One to live it out through me, yet I still struggle to know what that would even look like.

In the midst of all of this, is the desire to just throw in the hat of ordained ministry and go home. But go home to what? My folks are more than willing to have me live down in Florida. Not with them, for they know that might be a bit much for me, but down there close by to them and my family that lives there. Yet I have never lived in Florida for the long term before. It would be a totally new environment with new people and everything. Yes, my family would be there, but friends would need to be made anew. Maybe if my folks were still living back in Massachusetts, things would be different. At least there I could return to my old church with my friends there. Man, it’s been a long time since I’ve been back there. Yet I’m not sure I’m ready to leave Minnesota either. My friends from all my years at seminary and since are here and I have really come to value those relationships. Sigh . . .

I’m so tired of being unsure and uncertain. Just as things were beginning to feel more and more certain, they seem to fall apart all over again. It’s times like this I find myself turning to the Psalms, both in the Bible and my poems. The Book of Psalms is often seen as the Judeo-Christian book of prayers. So are my poems, at least for me. So this month I share with you one of both.

Psalm 46

God is our refuge and strength,
a very present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change,
though the mountains shake in the heart of the sea;
though its waters roar and foam,
though the mountains tremble with its tumult. Selah

There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy habitation of the Most High.
God is in the midst of the city; it shall not be moved;
God will help it when the morning dawns.
The nations are in an uproar, the kingdoms totter;
He utters His voice, the earth melts.

The LORD of hosts is with us;
the God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah

Come, behold the works of the LORD;
see what desolations He has brought on the earth.
He makes wars cease to the end of the earth;
He breaks the bow, and shatters the spear;
He burns the shields with fire.

“Be still, and know that I am God!
I am exalted among the nations,
I am exalted in the earth.”

The LORD of hosts is with us;
the God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah

Born Cracked
Born into the world a cracked vessel needing to be filled
The world she offers many things to fill it
Yet I always come back wanting more
Each thing feels right at first
But in time they all turn up lacking

Back in the garden we knew what it was to be filled
Back in the garden we knew what it was to be loved
Back in the garden we knew what it was to be accepted
Dear God why did we ever turn away from You the True Source

Cursed to walk this world abandoned, though we are never alone
You pursue us day and night yet still we run
Unable to turn, unable to be filled
Until by grace You extend the hand
And turn us around in Your Embrace

The cross makes this possible
The blood of Jesus fills our cracked vessel
His Blood seals the crack
In Him we are filled
In Him we are loved
In Him we are accepted

Though I know of His Love for me
Though I have soaked in the blood
Still my vessel leaks
Many are the times I know not filling
Many are the times I know not love
Many are the times I know not acceptance

Why is this the case?
Dear God, extend Your Hand
Dear God, send down Your Grace
Turn me around full in Your Embrace.

Thanks again to each of you for joining me as I share my life with you in this fashion. I hope you were encouraged in your own journeys toward God. He is drawing each of us ever closer to Him and molding us all more and more each day. Sometimes we are conscious of that shaping, other times we are not. May God’s peace dwell richly with you, no matter where of the journey He finds you.

In His Grip,

Michel Jon Willard

The Conversion of Anne Rice

For years now it has been with a bit of "guilty pleasure" that I have enjoyed the writings of Anne Rice. For those of you who don't know her, her most famous writings are the Vampire Chronicles, including Interview with a Vampire. I really like the way she depicted the immortal life and especially the religious undertow's that were contained in almost all her writings. I must admit I haven't read every one of her books. Mostly I was intrigued by the character of Lestat, one of her vampires. He was always seeking for a deeper meaning in his life. It drove him to encounter the vampire "gods" and even Satan himself, became interested, though I never got a chance to read the novel where Lestat encounters him.

Recently I read an article in Christianity Today that said she had just published a new book entitled Christ The Lord. At first the cynic in me went, "Oh no, now she's done it. Depicting Christ as a vampire. It was something she hinted at in earlier novels, but I don't think she'd actually do it." However, reading further into the article I found that she, like Mel Gibson, had recently come back to the Catholic church and the book was written as an account based mainly on the Gospels. This idea got my attention and I ended up buying the book with some of my Christmas money.

It is a really good read and I highly recommend it. Not only does she stay true to the character of Jesus we find in the Gospels, but she also shows a remarkable understanding of Jewish customs of the day. The really interesting part is that this is a book written about Jesus' childhood. The part not recorded in the Gospels and it is told from His perspective.

Part of me has been wondering for a while now what it was like for Jesus to "grow up." I mean we know from Luke that He "grew in wisdom, stature and favor with God and man" (Lk 2:52), but what was that actually like for Him. Weird to think of the Son of God growing in favor with God, huh? We also know He never sinned (Heb. 4:15). So He was always "perfect." What would it mean then for Him to grow? Can one be "perfect" and yet still "grow"? Sort of messes with the mind, no? Anne Rice illustrates this happening in a interesting way. I don't want to take away from those of you who might read the book, so I won't really go in depth into it. Let's jut say her version of the young Jesus, is not yet fully aware of Himself. That He has the divine seed in Him is clear from the get go, but it is something He grows into. I'm not sure all the conservative theologians would be in agreement with her, but it does make for fascinating reading.

Also really good is Anne's own account of her journey back to the Catholic faith which she also includes in this book. The novel that is on the shelves today is not the one she intended to write in the first place. It was through researching that she found the real Jesus and came back to a saving faith in Him. Interesting how that can happen. I too have had my ideas of God and Jesus blown away by the "real article." He is unlike anything I could have imagined. Yet I find myself very thankful for that. After all, if I could imagine Him, then I could control Him and wouldn't really need Him in the first place, now would I. Thank God I was wrong about Him!

Faith Fixes You

• Mike’s Musings (12/02/05) •

Dear family & friends,

• Life Update: Continuing On . . .

Sometime life seems to jump from one big life event to the next, other times it just goes on. You’re not quite sure where God’s leading you or exactly how He’s going to get you there, yet still somehow time moves on. Since I last wrote, my job has changed. I’m now working for Caribou Coffee as a Team Member instead of at Spee Dee Delivery as a Package Handler. The pay is not as much, but the better work environment and part-time benefits more than makes up for that difference. Being a Package Handler was getting to withdrawn from people and I needed something that was more interactive and involved me working with people and developing skills more in common with my trade. Plus, I’ve always been a big fan of coffee!

Other than that, the plan is still to study Chemical Dependency at Saint Cloud State University for the next year or so and get my Graduate Certificate by the Fall of 2007 at the latest. By that time I should also hopefully be ordained and ready to find a chaplaincy job through which I can get Board Certification.

• Sharing my Journey: Faith Fixes You

Lately I have found myself enjoying a TV series called Firefly. It was on the air less than a season and only had 14 episodes in all, yet somehow a year or so later, came out with a feature film called Serenity. That was where I first stumbled across it. The movie had no big special effects moments or anything else to “attract” the general public, yet when I saw the trailer, I was hooked. Then I saw the movie in the theaters and again, later on when it came out on DVD. A friend, who was also a fan, mentioned there was a TV series and loaned me the DVD’s which he also happened to have. I could go on, but I think you get the idea that I liked this series and it’s movie.

The series and movie take place on Serenity, a Firefly class space ship with a ragamuffin crew whose make up makes no logical sense except maybe to their captain, Malcolm Reynolds. One of my favorite moments in the series is an interaction between River, a fugitive genius/psychic, and Book, a chaplain. River has found Book’s Bible and is attempting to make sense of its seemingly many “contradictions. ” Book calmly asks her what she’s doing and she says, “I’m fixing your Bible. It’s broken.” She then goes on to say how Noah’s ark and various other events recorded there just do not add up scientifically and that she’s trying to change that. Book looks at her and laughs. “River,” says Book, “you don’t fix faith. Faith fixes you.”

How true I have found that in my own journey with God through life. The times I tried to figure Him and life out are usually the times when it all gets so foggy and confused. Conversely, the times I just learn to sit back and live with the flow of how God’s moving in my life, the more sense things seem to make. At least until I muddy them up again by trying to explain it all to myself and others. Like many Christians, there are times when I grab for the latest way to “live for God.” Whether it be the Purpose Driven Life or the Jabez Prayer, I look for some principle to help me make sense of it all. At times I even find myself getting a bit legalistic and saying my way of understanding things is the only way. Yet eventually I always come back to the same realization: the life we live with God, through faith in His Son Jesus Christ, isn’t about trying to figure out God or life. It’s about realizing that we can’t and that’s why we need Him. Life wasn’t meant to make sense apart from God. And even with Him, there are still things we need to take on faith. That’s just the way it is.

For poems this month, I thought I’d go with one that represents the simplicity of faith and another that represents the complexity of life. Both are my own and together they illustrate the paradox that is sometimes our lot as Christ-followers.

You Desire?

The jailer called for lights, rushed in and fell trembling before Paul and Silas. He then brought them out and asked, “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?”

They replied, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved —you and your household.”

-Acts 16:29-31

Just believe and you will be saved.
Yet even the demons believe in Christ and they certainly will not be saved

So what is it that You require?
What is it that you desire?
A heart undivided full of fire?
Will that be enough to inspire?

No, my spirit says, You want more
More than a life filled with good works
More than all the money I can earn
More than my first born son
So much more than I can ever give
And yet the answer is simple

You do not want my heart
You do not want my works
You do not want my family

All you really want is me
All of me

Born Cracked

Born into the world a cracked vessel needing to be filled
The world she offers many things to fill it
Yet I always come back wanting more
Each thing feels right at first
But in time they all turn up lacking

Back in the garden we knew what it was to be filled
Back in the garden we knew what it was to be loved
Back in the garden we knew what it was to be accepted
Dear God why did we ever turn away from You the True Source

Cursed to walk this world abandoned, though we are never alone
You pursue us day and night yet still we run
Unable to turn, unable to be filled
Until by grace You extend the hand
And turn us around in Your Embrace


The cross makes this possible
The blood of Jesus fills our cracked vessel
His Blood seals the crack

In Him we are filled
In Him we are loved
In Him we are accepted

Though I know of His Love for me
Though I have soaked in the blood
Still my vessel leaks

Many are the times I know not filling
Many are the times I know not love
Many are the times I know not acceptance


Why is this the case?
Dear God, extend Your Hand
Dear God, send down Your Grace
Turn me around full in Your Embrace.

A belated Merry Christmas to all and my best wishes to each of you for a great New Year! Thanks for joining me again as I share my life and ministry with you all in this fashion. I hope this newsletter finds you each doing well and enjoying the many blessings of God all around you. He is always there; sometimes you just have to look a little harder.

Welcome!

Waiting With God

• Mike’s Musings (12/02/05) •

Dear family & friends,

• Life Update: Waiting with God

Well, Hazelden called this past Monday to let me know they were choosing to go with someone else. To be honest, this decision came as more of a relief than anything else. The more I looked into the position, the less it seemed what I had perceived it to be in the first place. First off, if I had been hired, I would not be working as a “Chaplain” per say, but as a “Spiritual Care Counselor.” At first glance, these might seem interchangeable, and that was my perception upon walking into the interview. Then, during the interview I found out that Hazelden chooses not to call their Spiritual Care Counselors chaplains due to the “religious” connotation of the term. They are also not associated with any of the professional organizations associated with chaplaincy. Learning this came as a disappointment to me because I had hoped to take the job as a way of working toward Board-Certification with the National Organization of Chaplains and maybe even one day become a Chaplain Supervisor with the Association for Clinical Pastoral Education. Unfortunately, that was not to be the case, at least with Hazelden.

So, now the question on most of your minds is probably, “Now what?” At this point, my plan is to continue to work at Spee Dee and start attending Saint Cloud State this Spring. I will also continue working with 2:42 Community Church attending there and helping them as time allows and the Lord leads. They are in the process of becoming an official church with the Baptist General Conference and are willing to ordain me once that happens in about a year or so. That means, if everything goes as planned, I’ll be getting my license to be a Drug and Alcohol counselor and ordination to become a Board-Certified Chaplain about the same time.

• Sharing my Journey: Becoming God’s Treasure

The more I continue to work at Spee Dee, the more my thoughts turn to discipleship and spiritual formation. Of becoming more and more the man God created me to be, a man created in the image of God to become like Christ (Philippians 3:10). If you think about it, that is God’s desired destiny for each of us, to become like Christ. The question is whether we are willing to play a part in that plan. Are we willing to allow God’s Holy Spirit to be at work within us forming us into the image of His Son, Jesus Christ (2Corinthains 1:21-22)?

In addition I’m finding that working with boxes is a lot like working with people. In stacking boxes you have to know which boxes will fit with other boxes to make a more stable pile. Some of the smaller boxes are actually the heaviest and most dense and some of the larger ones are lighter and more fragile. People also are not always who they seem. We all have a tendency to wear mask and portray ourselves as who we think the world wants us to be rather than who we actually are. So, working together with people and helping them to work with each other requires the ability to look past the exterior and see what’s really going on inside each person. Does this person really have what it takes to do this job or are they just putting up a front? Can they fulfill all the requirements or will they buckle under the weight of all that responsibility?

These two streams of thought were going through my mind and heart one morning as I was reading Matthew for my quiet time. I was reading through Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount and came to the part where He starts talking about storing our treasure in heaven. As I was prayerfully going over this passage, it occurred to me that perhaps Jesus was not talking about money in the way we normally think about it. As Jack Sparrow once said in Pirates of the Caribbean “Not all treasure is silver and gold, mate.” Perhaps this treasure is within each us and in our relationships with each other. Maybe it’s the image of God that He created each of us into when He made us (Genesis 1). Couldn’t that be what Paul calls the “treasure in earthen vessels” (2Corinthains 4:7). The process that he then goes on to describe in the following verses would then be understood as that image being refined and developed in us. In my understanding, that is the work of the Holy Spirit with us. When we accept Christ into our lives, He puts His seal on us in the form of the Holy Spirit to mold us and shape us into His Image. To let us become the people He intended for us to be from the very beginning. Awesome to think about, no?

I think I can see that this letter is already getting too long, so I’ll close with just one poem this month and my usual parting words:

Lord, I Would Die for You

*If it would mean the salvation
Of one more sinner
Lord, I’d die for you.

For I cried the servant’s tears
It feels like I’ve served for a thousand years
And yet still the joy fulfills me.

But sometimes in the dark
You know I feel so afraid
Afraid to tell them of You
It seems easier to die.
*

I try to follow Your Word
But at times to do so seems almost absurd.
Lord, I want to do Your will.
But instead I just lie still.
And feel the warm embrace of Your love
*

*2I want to be a sacrifice
Lord, take all of me.
I want to be a sacrifice.
Lord, take all of me.
All of me.

All my selfish fear
Let Your precious blood wash away each tear
All my evil sin
Cleanse me from within
Till nothing remains
And there are no more stains
But all that is left is Your love.
And Your Holy Spirit in me as a dove.

**2

My thanks go to each of you for joining me once again, as I share my thoughts and prayers with you in this fashion. May God awaken you to the presence His Spirit in each of you as He continues to draw each of you closer to Him and form you into the image of His Son, Jesus Christ. May His peace dwell richly in your hearts and pray it dwells in mine as well. Until next time,

In His Grip,

Michel Jon Willard

Temptation a blessing?

A few mornings ago while reading Psalm 134, I felt drawn to the thought of God's blessing us from verse 3. Last night had been a hard time of temptation for me and when I came to that verse, it occurred to me that temptations could be understood as blessings. Of course I know that according to James 1:13 that God doesn't tempt, but we do know from many other scriptures that God does test us, God's followers and children of God through God's Son, Jesus Christ. And many times God's test feels like temptation to us. So here's the journal entry I made that morning:

God, is it really a blessing to be tempted? You seem to be saying that to me this morning. To be tempted is to be disciplined and God disciplines those God loves (Hebrews 12:6). So, temptation is a sign that You love me? To be tempted is also to be pruned and God prunes those who are bearing fruit (John 15:1). Fruit of character (Galations 5:22-23), not just of fellow followers of Christ. In addition, I know that You have promised that any temptation that comes my way is not beyond me, as long as I stay true to You, and that You will provide a way out of it (1Corinthians 1:13), even something as simple as doing something else or better yet turning away from the source of the temptation and turning back to You, the Source of all that is truly Life (John 10:10). Satan may be sending those temptations because he knows that's my area of weakness, yet You are saying, "Turn to Me in your weakness, and I will be your strength (2Corinthians 12:7-10). I will make you strong enough to bear through it. I will use this experience to hone you, to prune you, to discipline you, to strengthen and build you up in My loving truth and to mold you into the man I created you to be through the power of Jesus Christ, My Son." Yes, to be tempted is truly a blessing, for it is an opportunity to grow strong in You, Jesus. Help me to see every temptation that comes my way in this light and to always turn to You. In Your Name, Jesus, amen.

Mike's Musings (10/29/05)

Dear family & friends,

• Life Update: One Step Closer

I got the news just yesterday. Saint Cloud State University has now formally admitted me to their Chemical Dependency Graduate Certificate program! That means if things progress as planned, in about a year or so, I should be able to take the exam for and gain my license to be a Chemical Dependency counselor. By that time too, the church I’m currently attending should be ready to ordain me in preparation for my gaining Board Certification to be a chaplain. In the meantime, the pastor there is currently working on getting me into the local volunteer Police chaplain program, so I can keep my counseling skills honed while I receive training. So, things are coming together. It may seem slow, but I am learning to be patient. Some of the best things in this life need to be worked and waited for and it is that process that makes them all the more worth it.

• Sharing my Journey: Thoughts of a Theologically Trained Package Handler

Yes, it may sound like a contradiction in terms, like I have become a living paradox, yet I am beginning to find peace and contentment in my work at SpeeDee’s. True, at times I wonder what I’m doing here as a graduate of both college and graduate school. When those thoughts come, I often reflect on the stories of Moses and Joseph. Both were given lofty visions. Joseph had a dream where his family bowed down to him and Moses had sensed a call to deliver Israel. Yet neither went to traditional route to achieve their dreams. Indeed, at times they probably wondered what they were doing where they were. What is God thinking by having me go through this? How could Moses have known God would use the skills and experience he had built up over the years of his being a shepherd to sheep to lead the stiff-necked people of Israel through the desert to the Promised Land? Or Joseph imagine that suffering there in a prison for a crime he did not commit, he would meet a contact that would one day reference him to pharaoh? Such are the ways of God. He works in ways not obvious to this world. Remember, His ways are not ours (Isaiah 55:8). We want everything now, yet God know that things that come quickly can be gone just as fast. The things that take time to accomplish, that take much time and effort to complete, those are the things that truly last.

I am once again realizing that I am not now who I need to be in order to fully complete God’s purpose in my life, yet who I am now is vital to my becoming who I will be in the future. That is how, I am learning, good things come to be, not all at once, but, slowly, piece by piece, until everything is just right.

A few weekends ago, I was on a church retreat with some friends. It was there I wrote the following poem:

Into the Woods
I saw you when you ran into the woods,
For I was there with you,
I was the One you were running away from,
Yet I was the One you were running to,
Which was I to you?
Which were you to Me?

How I long for you to cling to Me as you used to,
To feel your heart beat with mine,
To share your thoughts and know your mind,
Yet you have drifted far away and are ever still rowing,
Farther and farther you roam,
It seems almost as if you are at home,
There in the wilderness,
Off in the distance.

Come home to Me, My love,
The journey is really not that long,
If you would but turn around,
Lift up your eyes and see,
There you would find Me,
My gentle hands will wipe away your every tear,
The blood from My wounds will cleanse your every sin.

Cleansing and reaching ever deeper within,
Bring your broken hearts and shattered dreams
Lay them at My nail-pierced feet
For when you cried, I cried with you,
When you ran, I was there at your side,
When you hid there in the dark,
I was there as well.

I am with you always,
Not as a presence to be feared
But as One who knows you through and through,
One who has seen you at your worst and at your best
I know you, I love you, and I am for you.

There in the woods, God gave to me the words I so desperately needed to hear. His heart searching for mine even as I sought hard after His. May they be encouraging words to each of you as well. Wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, be you lost in the woods of life, not knowing which way to go next or walking with purpose and passion, with your vision fully centered. Know that the God Who knows you inside and out, deeper and close than you can ever imagine, is the same God Who loves you just as much. He is with you and for you always! God is with you each, now and forever. May our eyes ever open wider to this truth. Peace out,

In His Grip,
Michel Jon Willard

Mike's Musings (10/7/05)

Dear family & friends,

• Life Update: Sometimes by Faith

There are times when it seems life just goes on, or so they say. Has it been a month already? Seems like longer. My time at the V.A. ended last week. My time there as Chaplain Resident was challenging and fruitful and now it seems God is calling me to other shores. Starting next week I’ll be at Spee Dee Delivery working as an overnight Package Handler. Not exactly my dream job, but it’ll do for while I’m going for my Graduate Certificate in Chemical Dependency at SCSU and working on getting all the pieces in place to be a Board-Certified Chaplain.

• Sharing my Journey: God in the Present Moment

As I find myself once more in a time of transition, I find God teaching me more and more to find His peace not in hoping to find that perfect position that’s fulfilling in every way or in looking back fondly at the past. To be honest, sometimes looking to those areas causes me more stress then release. Instead I’m slowly learning to find satisfaction in the way God is providing for me today. I am learning to see how each day is preparation for the next and if we sit there worrying about the future or lamenting about the past, we just might miss the blessings God has for us today (Matt. 6). God’s love and care of each of His Children is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. It’s all in His very capable Hands.

While I have reflected about this throughout the month, two songs have been weaving their way in and around my heart, mind and soul:

Enough
You are my supply
My breath of life
Still more awesome than I know
You are my reward
Worth living for
Still more awesome than I know

Chorus:
All of You is more than enough for
All of me for every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with Your love
And all I have in You is more than enough

Verse 2:
You're my sacrifice
Of greatest price
Still more awesome than I know
You're my coming King
You are everything
Still more awesome than I know

BRIDGE:
More than all I want
More than all I need
You are more than enough for me
More than all I know
More than all I can see
You are more than enough

- Chris Tomlin

The Truth
I've been putting on and putting off too many people
And I'm getting old to live like an injured man
Ailment and unfilled prescription, like the nose on my face
Like a broken boat, a safety raft, and a love for the water
I just can't decide to sink or swim, it's me or them
Should I save myself or go back for the others

Bridge:
Maybe there's no gray and I was wrong to tell 'em so
And maybe all that I've to do was done a long time ago

Chorus:
There was life before my life
There was provision before my need
There was redemption before my sin
For the sake of the world I thank the Lord
That the truth's not contingent on me

Verse 2:
I've been dressing up and dressing down for too many people
And I'm a little young to live like a troubled boy, a troubled soul
A fish out of water, because we're all just the same
We're all just as good and just as bad and just as distracted
By the corners of our eyes as our fathers were, and theirs before
And all those before them, and here I glance around

Bridge 2:
But with the way I stare you'd think I'd seen through a two-by-four
And with the way I walk you'd think I'd never seen grace before

Chorus

Verse 3 :
I've been putting up and putting down too many things
That I know nothing about, but I'm jealous of
Holding pride as tight as I can like she was my only daughter

Chorus

-Derek Web

The first song speaks of God’s provision in the moment of our present need and the second of His continuing faithfulness and the promise it brings.

Thanks for joining me again as I continue to share my life and ministry with you in this fashion. May you find in God this day just enough to keep You in His way. His provisions may not always be what we would like or think we need, but they are enough for this present moment in our lives. May the peace of Christ ever guard your hearts and minds and keep them close to Him, the Source of all that is truly life.

In His Grip,

Michel Jon Willard

Evangelsim Remixed

The following is an excerpt from my last message at the V.A. The text is Philippians 2:1-13.

This past Saturday, a friend of mine hosted a belated birthday party for me at her house. Towards the end of the party, her housemate asked me what it meant to be a chaplain. She had never heard of such a profession. I explained that it was sort of like being the pastor or spiritual care giver for all those patients under my care. Rather than try to impose my beliefs on them, I sought to understand where there relationship with God was and care for them there. In reply to this, she said that she was certain God existed, but wasn't too sure about this whole "church thing." She then asked each of us to share our own experience of God. While we may not have persuaded her over to "our side" by the close of the evening, I think she did come away with a fuller idea of Who God is, at least according to our perceptions of God.

The whole experience re-confirmed a view I've been coming to embrace of what it means to share my faith in ministry. I came from a tradition where it always felt like I was being called to convince the world of God's existence and God's gift to us in God's Son or that we had to sell Christianity and / or Jesus to the world. Yet here in this situation, none of that was called for or needed. Instead I was simply asked to share God as I had experienced God. It kind of reminded me of what Paul said in his letter to the church in Philippi, "If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose." I also found myself remembering the words of the second step of AA's 12 Steps: We made a decision to turn ourselves over to God as we understood God. God accepts us as we are and helps us to draw closer and so we should be with each other.

Mike's Musings (8/28/05)

• Mike’s Musings (08/28/05) •

Dear family & friends,

• Life Update: One Step at a Time

Well, another month has gone by. Like most months, I have made some progress in some areas and others are going a bit slower. Thank goodness, I am learning that God takes us as we are, screw-ups, triumphs and everything in between, and uses it all to mod us into the children of God He created us to be from the very beginning. My admission file at SCSU is complete; they will let me know of their decision in a week or so. Right in time for me to start taking classes this Fall. In the meantime, my internship is coming to an end come the end of September and I am still looking for my next “paycheck source.” If anyone knows of a job opening in this area that has “my name written all over it” I am all ears.

• Sharing My Journey: Immanuel

The following is an excerpt from a sermon I just preached this morning. The pastor of the local BGC church plant I have been attending was on a much-needed break and allowed me the privilege of sharing God's message through me and my worship to Him with them. The crowd was small and appreciative of my efforts. Here’s a sample:

I wish to start by telling you a story. No, it’s not a story from the Bible, though as you will see, it has those themes within it. It’s a story that could easily have been pulled from the headlines of today’s newspaper. I found it in a book that tells the tale of young man’s journey to God. The book is called Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller and the story goes something like this:

A team of Navy SEALs was sent on a convert mission to free hostages from a building in hostile territory. The team flew in by helicopter, made their way to the compound and stormed into the room where the hostages had been imprisoned for months. The room was filthy and dark. The hostages were curled up in the corner, terrified. When the SEALs entered the room, they heard the gasps of the hostages. They stood at the door and called to the prisoners, telling them they were Americans. The SEALs asked the hostages to follow them, but the hostages wouldn’t budge. They just sat there on the floor and hid their eyes in fear. They were not of healthy mind and couldn’t believe these men who had stormed into the room were really there to rescue them, never mind whether they were Americans or not.

The SEALs stood there, not knowing what to do. They couldn’t possibly carry everybody out. Suddenly, one of the soldiers had an idea. He put down his weapon, took off his helmet, removed his body armor, and curled up tightly next to one of the other hostages, getting so close his body was touching some of theirs. He softened the look on his face and put his arms around them. He was trying to show them he was one of them. None of the prison guards would have done this. He stayed there for a little while until some of the hostages started to look at him, finally meeting his eyes. The Navy SEAL then whispered that they were Americans and were here to rescue them. “Will you follow us?” the soldier asked. Then the hero stood to his feet and one of the hostages did the same, then another, until all of them were willing to go.

That story, my friends, is not unlike our own. For you see, we were once like those hostages. Caught in the grasp of this sinful world, we could not hear God calling out to us. We were like the nation of Israel in the Old Testament. God sent them judges, prophets and kings, all with news of God’s goodness and saving grace. Yet all His Words through them fell on deaf ears. They, like us, were too stuck in their own ways. The ways this world says are true and right. So, into our midst God sent His only Son. Not as a God, that we might marvel at His strength and power, but as a babe so we might learn from His humility.

And on that note, I’ll wrap up this month’s newsletter. Thanks again for allowing me to share my life and ministry with you in this fashion. I pray God blesses you in its reading as He has me in its writing. I think I am finally beginning to understand what an honor and privilege it is to share God’s message with His people. Regardless of the method or venue. Peace out, my dear brothers and sisters.

Immanuel, a Sermon (8/28/05)

Immanuel: When God Became Flesh

I wish to start by telling you a story. No, it’s not a story from the Bible, though as you will see, it has those themes within it. It’s a story that could easily have been pulled from the headlines of today’s newspaper. I found it in a book that tells the tale of young man’s journey to God. The book is called Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller and the story goes something like this:

A team of Navy SEALs was sent on a convert mission to free hostages from a building in hostile territory. The team flew in by helicopter, made their way to the compound and stormed into the room where the hostages had been imprisoned for months. The room was filthy and dark. The hostages were curled up in the corner, terrified. When the SEALs entered the room, they heard the gasps of the hostages. They stood at the door and called to the prisoners, telling them they were Americans. The SEALs asked the hostages to follow them, but the hostages wouldn’t budge. They just sat there on the floor and hid their eyes in fear. They were not of healthy mind and couldn’t believe these men who had stormed into the room were really there to rescue them, never mind whether they were Americans or not.

The SEALs stood there, not knowing what to do. They couldn’t possibly carry everybody out. Suddenly, one of the soldiers had an idea. He put down his weapon, took off his helmet, removed his body armor, and curled up tightly next to one of the other hostages, getting so close his body was touching some of theirs. He softened the look on his face and put his arms around them. He was trying to show them he was one of them. None of the prison guards would have done this. He stayed there for a little while until some of the hostages started to look at him, finally meeting his eyes. The Navy SEAL then whispered that they were Americans and were here to rescue them. “Will you follow us?” the soldier asked. Then the hero stood to his feet and one of the hostages did the same, then another, until all of them were willing to go.
That story, my friends, is not unlike our own. For you see, we were once like those hostages. Caught in the grasp of this sinful world, we could not hear God calling out to us. We were like the nation of Israel in the Old Testament. God sent them judges, prophets and kings, all with news of God’s goodness and saving grace. Yet all His Words through them fell on deaf ears. They, like us, were too stuck in their own ways. The ways this world says are true and right. So, into our midst God sent His only Son. Not as a God, that we might marvel at His strength and power, but as a babe so we might learn from His humility. As Paul wrote in his letter to the Philippians, chapter 2, starting in verse 4:

Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God
something to be grasped,
but made Himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
He humbled himself
And became obedient to death—
even death on a cross!
Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name that is above every name,
that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father (Phil. 2:5-11).

Yes, Jesus humbled Himself and came to live among us. He took on our flesh as His own and bore our pain in His heart. And the flesh He had was no different from our own, for thus it had to be. For as the author of Hebrew wrote in chapter 4, verse 15:

“For we do not have a high priest Who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have One Who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin.”

Now, you may say, “Like us in flesh, but did not sin, such cannot be!” Yet that is truth, as you can plainly see. For Jesus did experience temptation in the same way as we, yet as it says, He never sinned. And it that sense He felt it even to a deeper intensity than we can ever imagine. For we often give in right at the end, but Jesus held on, experiencing temptation to its fullest extent. Truly, it is like the author of Hebrew wrote later on,

“In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood.”

There in the Garden of Gethsemane, He realized such a temptation for as Luke’s Gospel records in chapter 22, starting in verse 39,

“Jesus went out as usual to the Mount of Olives, and his disciples followed him. On reaching the place, he said to them, ‘Pray that you will not fall into temptation.’ He withdrew about a stone's throw beyond them, knelt down and prayed, ‘Father, if you are willing, take this cup from Me; yet not My will, but Yours be done.’ An angel from heaven appeared to Him and strengthened Him. And being in anguish, He prayed more earnestly, and His sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground” (Lk. 22:39-44).

So, “what was it,” you might ask, “that Jesus was struggling so hard to overcome?” What was the cup that He asked His Father to take from Him? Was it not the cup of our sin? Did not taking on the burden of our sin frighten Him so? Yes, but it was also much deeper than that. For you see there was more to fear that night than the burden of our collective sin. It was a deeper fear still that Christ felt within. For He well knew that God, His Father could not stand the sight of sin and in it’s presence He could not be in. As His prophet Isaiah said in chapter 59, verse 2,

“But your iniquities have separated
you from your God;
your sins have hidden His face from you,
so that He will not hear.”

Jesus knew that on that cross He would be utterly separated from God, His Father, for the first time in His entire existence. Remember He said, as John wrote in his Gospel, chapter 5, verse 19, “I tell you the truth, the Son can do nothing by Himself; He can do only what He sees His Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does.” Indeed, it was that total abandonment that drove Him to cry out from that cross, as He lay there, beaten, nailed, pierced and dying, "Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?"—which means, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" (Mt. 27:46, Mk. 15:34). Jesus not only bore our sins that horrible day some two thousand years ago, He bore the pain of being apart from God, His Father, so that we would never have to. That’s right, because of Christ’s sacrifice, we are not only freed from our sin, we are redeemed from ever having to be alone again.

For that is what that name means after all, Immanuel. It means God is with us. The same God Who confused and thwarted every army Israel fought against. The same God Who David had in mind when he wrote every one of his Psalms. The same God of Whom Solomon wrote all those Proverbs. The same God all the prophets spoke of. Yes, even the same God that took on our flesh in Jesus Christ. That same God is with us.

Not only that, this same God beckons us to be with Him! For He says, as John records in Revelations, chapter 3, verse 20, “Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me.” Notice that He says this not to those who do not already know Him, but to those who do, that they might know Him even deeper and more intimately.

For so does God desire to know each of us. He desires us to know His heart just as He already knows ours. God desires to wipe away our every tear and turn away all our fear. The question is will we let Him in? Will we give to Him all of our sin? Will we let His cleansing flow breach the deepest and darkest recesses of our soul? Will we believe that in Him alone we can be made whole? Will we let His light shine within us?

For it is not just Jesus Christ, Who is Immanuel, we are as well. As John says in his first letter to the church, chapter 4, verse 12: “No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.” It is in our love for each other that Christ lives on, in and through our lives.

He designed each one of us to be unique. There is, has never been and will never be another person like you or I. That’s what Paul was talking about when he wrote in his letter the Ephesians, chapter 2, verse 10: “For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” That’s you and me. God had a specific person in mind when He created each of us. And He created that specific person with a unique ministry in mind that cannot be done by anyone else in the way He designed it to be done in and through you and I.

Every single person must do his or her part. It is only in working together that we can accomplish the purposes God created each of us for. Why do you think Paul talks so much about the church acting as a body? In his first letter to the Corinthians, chapter 12, verses 12, he writes: “The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ.” He talks even more about it throughout that chapter, his letters to the Romans, Ephesians, Colossians and his first letter to his disciple Timothy. Some of us are eyes, some are hands, some are fingers and toes, yet each is as important as the other. There is not one we can do without.

So, if we are to stay together, then what will keep us as such? It is in our love for each other that holds us to one another. God made His love for us manifest in Jesus Christ Who gave His life for each and all of us. That same love He pours into each of us so that we can in turn share it with each other and ultimately the world. And it all begins with receiving God’s love for you into your own heart. Yes, you heard right. It all starts with you. Just as Jesus was called to be God’s Immanuel to the world, so He calls you and I to follow His Example and be His hands, feet, and body to this world.

Now I know that some of you may be wondering, “Where can I fit into this whole thing?” “Is God really calling me?” or maybe, “How can this be after all I’ve done?” And yet, it is. Believe me, I know it’s hard to take it all in. So, let me just close with a poem and a song.

I wrote this poem after hearing God’s voice speaking to me during a time when I, myself, was struggling with my own unworthiness. The first part is what God whispered in the depths of my heart. The second was my response and I hope it may be your as well.

Forgiven
The Father:
I have already forgiven your failings.
Why do you bring them before Me again?

I have already washed you clean.
Why do you insist on playing in the dirt?

Accept My forgiveness.
Receive My cleansing.

Why do you cling to that which I have already released you from?
Why do you remain in the dungeon?
The chains have already been broken and the key thrown away.

The gates of iron have been flung wide open
And yet still you cower in the cage of your own making

The light has been shown forth
Yet you prefer the darkness

What more can I do for you, My child?

How else can I bid you come?
The table has already been set and the dinner bell is ringing
Is it possible you have not heard Me calling?

Answer Me and I will give you the desires of your heart.
I am your Father and have always been faithful.
Is this not the truth?
Listen to your heart, My child.
You know Who I am.
You have always known.

His Child:
Come unto me, O Desire of my heart!
Beckon me unto Your Feast, O Satisfier of my deepest hunger!
Dance with Me, O Romancer of my soul!
Set me beside the still waters, O Author of my peace!
Run with me, O my Ever True Companion
Guide my steps. O Victorious Winner of the race set before me!

You Who began this good work in me,
You are my Faithful Father
And You will finish what You have started!
Yes, You will finish what you have started!

Some of you may need to hear God whispering in your own heart this day. I invite you to quiet yourselves inside and listen in as I play this song, it echoes the heart of one who is attuned to the heart of God. Listen now,

The Passion of Your Heart

Oh the passion of Your heart, Your abandoned pursuit of me
Oh the risks that You took to love someone like me, That risk has set my soul free,
Your desire for me is overwhelming, it consumes your every thought,
Oh the joy that You feel when our hearts touch, the joy when we touch,
You desire to draw me so close to You, You desire to have me all to Yourself,
You tenderly call out my name, beckoning me to come nearer,
You romance me with the purity and sweet wine poured into a cup of communion,
We dance and spin all around the universe,
Your rage is aroused at my enemies, You defend me with arms full of strength,
Your gentleness towards me is ever present, Your care for me ever living,
You’re so eager to disclose all the secrets of Your heart,
To show Yourself unrestrained fully given to me,
Your goodness is a placid stream, a blanket wrapped all around me,
Your faithfulness is the sure song of sunrise,
Your promises are structures already formed,
Ever deepening is the vastness of Your great love,
You allure me with soft array,
Ever present is the pulse of Your affections,
Your smile is gleaming with excitement, to show me even more . . .

-Steven Roach, Enter the Worship Circle: The Third Circle

Jesus, Who do you say that He is?

This is a preview of the message I will be giving this Sunday (8/21/05) at the V.A. Chapel. The scripture passage it draws from is Matthew 16: 13-20.

In the gospel passage we just read, Jesus asks His disciples two similar yet different questions. At first He asks them who the crowds say that He is. They answered, "Some say John the Baptist, but others say Elijah and still others Jeremiah or one of the prophets." Then Jesus takes the question to a deeper level and asks His disciples, "But Who do you say that I am?" In a way, I think Jesus is still asking those very same questions today and getting some similar responses. Let me explain what I mean by sharing with you a story from my own life.

As some of you may know that I spent my junior year of college abroad in Israel. While I was there, I had a number of experiences that forced me to separate the Christianity I had grown up with, from my own relationship with God through His Son, Jesus Christ. I remember waking up one morning that fall feeling very distant from God. That whole summer and months leading up to this day had been filled with experiences that seemed to contradict everything I had come to know about God and Christianity. And now everything seemed to be coming to a climax. The peace, joy and hope that I had come to count on as constants in my life seemed to be gone. I had nothing left to stand on, but my own faith in God. Not knowing what else to do, I locked myself in my room, opened up my laptop computer and began to type. The first thing I wrote was a shouting session with God. I wanted to know why it felt like He was stripping away all my securities. Why was He removing everything I had had going for me? Then as I was going on and on in this direction, it occurred to me that I did, in fact still have something left. I had my relationship with God. Into the realization, I heard God asking the same question Jesus asked His disciples: Who do you say that I am? Like His disciples. My first instinct was to go with what my family and the church said. God is all-knowing, all-powerful, all-loving, desiring all to come to saving knowledge of Him through His Son, Jesus Christ, our Lord. Yet, at that moment, none of those answers nor any other Sunday School answer seemed to hold water between God and I. God seemed to want a deeper answer that that; just as Jesus wanted from His disciples. God wanted to know Who I personally knew Him to be. Who had He shown Himself to be in my own life? This was how God personalized His question to me. And so I was left to answer as only I could. Jesus was my friend when all others ran away. God was my redeemer and loving Father, the One who would never lead me astray. I could go on, yet that might take the task away from each of you.

For just as Jesus asked His disciples Who He was to them, and just as God asked me, so God is asking you today. Who do you say that God is? Who do you say God's Son, Jesus Christ is? If you, by chance, don't know Him personally and would like to, feel free to come and see myself after the service or any of the chaplains during our time here. God longs to be more to each of us than someone we can know a lot about. God wants each of us to know Him personally and intimately. That relationship begins with each of you. Where it will go from there? Only God knows!

Mike's Musings (7/31/05)

Dear family & friends,

• Life Update: Answering the Call

Man, has it been a busy month. Full of verbatims to do, people to meet with, friends to hang out with, books to read and more. The list of things to do goes on and on. The ternary of the urgent is in full swing and I don’t even have a family or others to worry about in the midst of it all. Honestly, sometimes its good to be single!

Amidst all that, I have made some headway in determining how I can pursue God’s call four me to counsel. Saint Cloud State University offers a Chemical Dependency Graduate Certificate program that prepares one to take the exam for and become licensed as a Drug & Alcohol Counselor. It consists of 6 courses and a year-long supervised internship. So, I could be qualified to work with the chemically dependent, like those I’ve been working with already at the V.A. in less then two years. In addition, the Baptist General Conference let me know a few weeks ago that they have now endorsed me as an institutional chaplain. Once I get my ordination that will mean I basically have all the pieces to become a Board-Certified Chaplain. My current idea is that once all these pieces are in place, I will be able to work as a fully qualified “recovery chaplain” in places line the Gospel Rescue Mission or Rehabs.


• Sharing My Journey: Our Empowerment in Christ

Earlier this past week, I was struck by a quote from the movie Coach Carter. It’s the story of a basketball coach seeking to help his kids become more than just great athletes. One of the questions he kept hounding them with was, “What is your deepest fear?” The guy’s response about knocked my socks off: “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” As I found out, he was quoting Nelson Mandela’s Inauguration speech.

When I heard it, I found myself reminded of C.S. Lewis' quote: “It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and a corruption such as now you meet only in a nightmare. All day long we are, in some degree, helping each other to one or the other of these destinations.”


Put those two together with prayers in scripture like Paul’s in Ephesians 2 and you kind of get the idea that we humans, especially us Christians, are pretty powerful people. We may think we aren’t making any impact, but, in fact, we are. Everyday we make choices that alter not only our own future, but also the future of all those around us. I say this not to lay a huge guilt trip on anyone, but to get the point across. There are no “insignificant people.” We all matter. It’s like that poem I wrote back in High School:

There is a White
There is a white for this black of ours.
It will show itself in its hour,
But we who hold it in our hearts,
No ray of dark can penetrate our parts.
But what of this light?
What use is it, if it cannot shine bright!
Too often we turn away its source.
We take out our swords,
Made by the hand of Satan,
And slash it into oblivion.

But this light cannot die.
It cannot be swept away.
There are those who have claimed it
And the light lives on in them.

The light has a place in all of our hearts.
Every single one must play its part.
Through them this world will change.
Through them it will exchange
Its darkness for the EVERLASTING LIGHT!

So, let your light shine bright this month and pray mine does as well. May we be shining beacons of Christ’s love and peace in this world that needs both so much. And may God continue to empower you as you serve Him. May He open your eyes to see, not only all His blessings already around you, but also, all those around you who so desperately need what you already have and know. In whatever way you have experienced God’s blessing and love, share it in like manner. For such is all God really requires of you.

In His Grip,

Michel Jon Willard

Mike's Musings (7/2/05)

Dear family & friends,

• Life Update: Called to Counsel

There I was at Northwoods Chapel, preparing to preach the next day. The churches had called me the week before and asked me to move up the date of my second visit, so they could come together for a question and answer session after the service at the second church. The text for that week’s sermon was Ephesians 2:10, “For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” My sermon idea was that we are each created uniquely by God in Christ to do the works He has planned out for us. As I finished going through my sermon for the second time that afternoon, I sat down there on the steps leading up to the pulpit and prayed for guidance. I still had so many questions about how it would work for me to come up there and serve as their pastor. Amidst all my uncertainty and confusion, came a still small voice in my heart. I heard God saying, “Mike, My child, I created you to counsel, not preach. To share your heart, not your mind.” He said a lot more that I won’t go into right now, but that was His essential message. That He was calling me to walk along side His people, to counsel them and share my heart with them; not to preach to His people, to lead them or share my mind with them. As I share this message with the churches, some were disappointed, yet they all understood that I must do what God was leading me to do.

• Sharing My Journey: Sowing Grace (in brief)

So I know God has called me to counsel, yet how am I to do this? As I have been pondering that, I have found myself reminded of that life lesson I posted on the web just last week; that lesson that God is still working out in my own life; that lesson of Sowing Grace. I know some of you find my newsletters too long already, so I won’t lengthen this month’s by re-quoting that article verbatim. Instead, let me just condense it.

God is helping me to see that the way He is calling me to reach out to His people is not by telling them how I think He wants them to live their lives for God, but helping them to grow in their own relationship to Him, so that they can learn from Him, on their own, how to live their lives for His Glory. One of the ways of doing this, as He is showing me, is to learn how to feel and stay attuned to the rhythms of His Grace throughout my life. To see how He is seeking to develop in me the fruits of His Spirit. To see how His Spirit is at work in my life and cooperate with His leading. For more on this, you can read the article right here. It's entitled, "Sowing Grace: A Life Lesson in progress." Thanks!

As I have been pondering all this the following poems have come to mind. Both of them, my own. One speaks of the world to come, the other of how we are today:

There is a White

There is a white for this black of ours.
It will show itself in its hour,
But we who hold it in our hearts,
No ray of dark can penetrate our parts.

But what of this light?
What use is it, if it cannot shine bright!
Too often we turn away its source.
We take out our swords,
Made by the hand of Satan,
And slash it into oblivion.

But this light cannot die.
It cannot be swept away.
There are those who have claimed it
And the light lives on in them.

The light has a place in all of our hearts.
Every single one must play its part.
Through them this world will change.
Through them it will exchange
Its darkness for the EVERLASTING LIGHT!

The Inner War
I woke up this morning and there you were in my face
The mirror your eyes, my soul your home
My worst enemy, my best friend
Everything I used to be, everything I might be again

Come back into the dark you whisper
But I’m yearning and fighting for the light
It’s so much easier and more comfortable there

Yet I know here is where I must remain

Hide yourself, it’s so much safer
No, I must be true to the world
I cannot don the mask of security
Cannot fake the act of sincerity
When everything I do and say is just a lie

Truth is more powerful than lie
And more powerful still when backed up by life
I know the life I should live
And I pray one day
It will be the life I do live

Thanks again for joining me as I have reflected back on how God has worked in and through my life during the past month. I pray your eyes were opened to the ways He has been at work in yours as well. His work in and through our lives is always going on, even when we are not aware of it. May you feel His many blessings upon you and the love He is always showering your life with abundantly.

In His Grip,

Michel Jon Willard

P.S.,
I should be around the St. Paul area during the weekend of July 15-17. If any of you wants to get together with me, even for just a bite or eat or something, please let me know. I’ll be glad to see what I can work in. Thanks!

Sowing Grace, a life lesson in progress

My dear Friends and Family,

During my time at the V.A. as a chaplain, I have found in many ways I am re-learning not only how to share my faith but also how to grow in it. As some of you know, proselytizing or "aggressive evangelism" is not allowed within my role as chaplain. In fact, in action it is called "religious harassment" and goes right up there with "sexual", "racial", and all other kinds of "harassment." Some might see this policy as an affront to the Evangelical Christian lifestyle which almost assumes most of its members are sharing their faith on a regular basis. Yet I have come to see it as a different kind of invitation. An invitation to live out that famous quote from St. Francis of Assisi, "Preach the Gospel at all times and when necessary use words." It also invites me into what I think is a much more gracious style of evangelism. Rather than actively seeking to save the soul of every veteran under my care, I have chosen instead to meet them where they are and in that place, help them to connect with God as they understand Him. My work with the Chemically Dependent veterans has taught me that even in the life of a devout atheist, there is still an innate spirituality, an inner search for significance and purpose. I seek to help them find the tools for getting to know God on their own, rather than assuming my way of knowing Him is best.

I also find that I am relearning what exactly these tools are for their growth and my own. One of the really good books I've come across in my work with the Chemically Dependent veterans is Earnie Larson's Stage II Recovery: Life Beyond Addiction. In it, he describes how the habits we've been learning since childhood have shaped us into the people and predicaments we are and are in today. For the addict, it is a bit easier to see which of these habits are good and which are bad. For others of us, it is not always so clear. For both, Earnie writes, and I think I agree, that change is possible. It happens through picking out the things in our life with God and others that we desire to change and being daily intentional about doing so. It means learning what things / habits in our lives get us into bad moods and places and what habits / things we can learn to cultivate in our own lives to begin to grow in to a more healthy person, better able to relate to others and God.

So what are these habits? I think most everyone knows the bad ones: talking down to one's self, not expressing one's needs, not engaging daily in enriching relationships with God and each other, and so on. The positive ones are maybe not so easy to self-generate. Part of this, I think, is because the world around us so easily trains us in the wrong way. That's probably why Paul exhorted his fellow Christians to "not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—His good, pleasing and perfect will." (Romans 12:2) How do we do this? As I mentioned before, I'm still just beginning to explore this way of spiritual formation or seeking to cooperate with the ways God is already shaping me into the type of person He created me to be. I think part of it lies in learning how to see the fruits of the Spirit - love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Gal. 5:22) - as rhythms of life. There's probably also a lot of wisdom with those who practice Spiritual Disciplines, like those laid out in Richard Fostor's Celebration of Discipline: Prayer, Meditation, Fasting, Submission, Service and Worship. So, to sum up, I think Spiritual Formation happens by our becoming aware of the rhythms already present in our lives, both good and bad, and learning to lesson the harmful ones and increase the healthy ones. As always, I'm open to hearing any recommendations, suggestions, questions or any other thoughts you might have regarding these ponderings. Thanks! I do hope all of you are well. God bless!

In His Grip,

Michel Jon Willard

Mike's Musings (6/1/05)

Dear family & friends,

• Life Update

A number of things have changed since last I wrote you; the most current being our new crew of Chaplain Interns. At the VA I and one other gentleman are the Chaplain Residents we are paid staff members there for the year. During our tenure, we help in the training of two crews of new Chaplain Interns. In addition, this means that my assignments are changing. I am now working more with Chemically Dependent veterans and those going through our rehab facilities. So, in a way this new month also means some new beginnings for me in terms of work relationships and ministry opportunities. Also, I have learned that the churches up north would like to hear me twice before starting me through their canidating process. This gives them and myself more time to seek God for our possible future together. Your continued prayers would be appreciated.

• Sharing My Journey: A Change of Perspective

I started out this month with a kind of new perspective on “Perfection” or the idea of “living a life without regret.” Most of the time when I have thought about this, it has felt extremely oppressive. I mean, there was only one “perfect” human being, and that’s Jesus, right? And He had the whole advantage of being God incarnate as well, correct? How can I, a mere human sinner, ever hope to attain His level of living? Yet that is what I’ve always understood Scripture to teach. It says, “Be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect” (Matthew 5:48). Maybe God has something different in mind. This possibility came to me while re-watching “13 Going On 30.” A “chick flick,” I know, yet there is some depth there too. The particular scene that caught my attention this time was between the mother and grown up daughter. The daughter asks the her mother if she has any regrets about how she has lived her life thus far, any potential “do over’s.” Listen closely to how the mother responds: “No, everything that I have gone through up to this point has made me what I am today and looking back I wouldn’t change a thing.” She was not saying she never made a mistake, she was saying she realized she would not be the person she was at that moment if she had not messed up as many times as she had and worked through it to become a better person.

Maybe the key to living a “perfect” life lies not in making the right decision at every turn, but in looking back at the life you’ve lived and realizing you are who you are today because of everything you’ve been through. When God looks at us, I don’t think He sees a life of mistakes and shakes His head in disappointment. No! He looks and sees the strength that has brought us through all that. He looks and sees our reliance on Him despite circumstances. He looks at us and proudly says, “You are Mine! I knew you before creation. I know who you were, I know who you are and I know who you are going to be. At every step, know that I love you, I am with you and I am proud of you. You are Mine!”

In that light, I’d like to share with you a Prayer of Invocation, I wrote last year during my Life & Theology of Prayer class and the lyrics to Irene, s song written by Toby Mac.

An Invocation

O Come, o come, O beloved Lover of our souls.

You Who knows us deeper and more intimately than even we know ourselves.

You Who sees us as we truly are, not as we want to be, not as we should be, but as we are today, this moment.

You see us and You declare, each of us and collectively, Your treasured and precious ones.

Fill us, O Father, with the peace that passes all understanding, knowing that You alone are faithful to do all that You have said.

Renew our hearts. O Holy Spirit, refresh us with Your joy and love.

Guide our paths and fill our minds with Your wisdom.

Redeem us from our frailty, O Lord Jesus, and lead us to life everlasting.

In Your Holy and precious Name we pray, amen.

-Michel Jon Willard

Irene

Hush little baby don’t you cry

Daddy’s gonna sing you a lullaby

Everything’s gonna be alright

The Lord’s gonna answer your prayer tonight



Hush little baby don’t you cry

Daddy’s gonna sing you a lullaby

Everything’s gonna be alright

The Lords gonna answer your prayer



Last night you had a dream you was the homecoming queen

Today you’re 18, happy birthday Irene

quit school you had to drop out to raise your little child

Doesn’t seem to be anyone around

You’ve got to reach up to touch rock bottom

The powers that be keep you downtrodden

Daughter of Zion, I heard you prayer

Just cast your cares and please beware of snakes

They come in all shapes and sizes

Tempt you, put scales on your eye lids

Don’t waste your sorrows

They’ll give you strength tomorrow…tomorrow

Your Calvary’s about to come so

Keep your head up, don’t you ever let up

This storm will pass you’ll be ready for the next one



Hey little girl with the pressures of the world on you shoulders

Don’t say that it’s over

I heard your prayers, just cast your cares

And I’ll be there so don’t you fear (2x)

CHORUS (2x)


Irene, I carried you when you was to weak to walk

I took to you when you gave your heart to God

Faithful and true, that’s what I’ll always be to you

Believe in you, believe in Me and these mountains have to

move

You have dreams and aspirations

I knew you before Creation

Your foundation’s solid

I will give you a palace, restore your soul

You’ll be up for any challenge

Many storms are on the way; better sharpen your faith

Count the cost, take up your Cross

And wear it everyday

Rest in me and I will give you strength

Blessed is she, Irene, who seeks my face



Hey little girl with the pressures of the world on you shoulders

Don’t say that it’s over

I heard your prayers, just cast your cares

And I’ll be there so don’t you fear (2x)

CHORUS (2x)


Everything’s gonna be alright (3x)

Be alright (2x)



(Yeah)Father I’m stronger I say

Father I’m stronger I say

Father I’m stronger

than when I first believed yeah (2x)


I say hey little girl with the pressures of the world on her shoulders

Don’t say that it’s over (2x)


I heard your prayers, just cast your cares

And I’ll be there, so don’t you fear


CHORUS (2x)


The Lord’s gonna answer your prayer tonight

The Lord’s gonna answer your prayer tonight

The Lord’s gonna answer your prayer….....

- Toby Mac

There a few other things I’d love to share with you, yet I’ve already taken up more of your time than I meant to. So, I’ll let you go for now with a grateful thank you for indulging me this time past and a prayerful blessing from God to each of you as you go your many separate ways this month. May God continue to open your eyes to His many blessings already present throughout your life. Know you are His, you are loved and, man, is He proud of you.

In His Grip,

Michel Jon Willard

P.S.,

Due to my preaching schedule with the churches up north, I’m not sure when I’ll be able to make down to St. Paul for an extended stay during the next two months. I’ll miss all of you down there. Thanks again!

Mike's Musings (5/7/05)

• Mike's Musings (05/07/05) •

My dear Friends & Family,

• Life Update

The last time I was down in St. Paul, I found myself being asked the same question a number of times: "So, Mike, you've been there for a good seven months, what has been the most challenging part of being a chaplain?" Many of you are probably wondering that as well. The answer may surprise you. Above all, the biggest struggle in working here has not been ministering to the veterans. That's nothing compared to the challenge of learning to work together with other professionals as a member of an interdisciplinary care team. Especially when the other members don't necessarily see you as a "professional." Working the rest of the staff here has definitely been a challenging experience.

In the midst of this struggle came some unexpected news. One of the residencies I was planning to go into next year fell through, yet in it's place came the very real possibility of a working in a small church. Way up north near Grand Rapids lies a two-point perish that is looking for a pastor and one of the BGC's District Officials seems to think I'd be perfect for it. If God wills, so be it. I'll be heading up there to preach next month and very much appreciate your prayers as I discern God's desire for my life in this area.

• Sharing My Journey: Resting In God's Love

One thought that has kept me going this month has been the realization that Jesus also experienced much difficulty when working with others. His own family thought Him a madman at times (Mk 3:21). His disciples quarreled with each other about who was the greatest (Lk 9:46). The leadership status quo of that day thought Him a threat and wanted Him dead (Mtt 12:14). Yet amidst it all He never wavered from His core message of loving God and loving each other. Why was this? Not because He was God's Son, though indeed He was. Not because He was the greatest man Who ever lives, though he was that too. No, His greatest strength lay in none of His great skills as a prophet, as a leader or even a healer, but simply in His reliance in God above all else. When everything was said and done, no matter what anyone else thought or said, Jesus knew it was not what the world said that mattered, but what God said. And we already know what God says about Jesus and about every one of us. If we take the time to still ourselves and get away from all the voices of the world, I believe we would hear God saying to us the same exact words He spoke to Jesus as He came up out of the River Jordan, "This is My Son, with Him I am very well pleased" (Mk 1:11). If we would just learn to rest in that truth, everything else would fade away in comparison.

As I think about that concept, two poems come to mind. One that I don’t think I’ve shared through this venue before and an old favorite:

He is Bigger
I sit on the riverbank and rest awhile.
The water comes to rest and bumps on the sand.
I sit there contemplating I do not know what.

Believers and Atheists alike search for a meaning to life, to love, to death.
And it's standing right there before them,
With its crown of thorns and nail-pierced hands and feet.

The Atheists look and what do they see?
They see nothing for they do not know how to look,
And some don't care to look at all.
The Believers look and what do they see?
They see what they want to see, and nothing more.

But there's more to this life,
More to this love,
More to this death,
And more to this God.

This God is bigger. (2x)
No matter what your sin,
No matter what you've been through.
No matter what you've done.
No matter where you've been.

This God is bigger. (2x)

Jesus is bigger. (2x)

Yes, our God Jesus is bigger. (2x)

Bigger then we will ever know. (3x, fade 3)

Be Still
“Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.”
-Psalm 46:10

Be still, My child and know that you are loved.
Endless, limitless, eternal love is yours.
My Son paid the price and you are free to come.

Come and know Me
Come and know that you are loved.
Come with no expectations, for they will all be blown away.
Come with no preparations, the price has already been paid
Come with no restrictions for they are only self-imposed
Come desiring nothing, knowing you will receive all that is of true worth.

I am the One Who has loved you since before time began
As you were formed within your mother’s womb
I knew you and called you My chosen one
You are My child and I love you.

All right then, that’s a wrap. One more month down the hatch into memory lane. My next weekends down in St. Paul will be May 13th to the 15th and June 17th to the 18th. June 19th is when I’ll be preaching at the church, which may soon be calling me pastor. If you’re interested in hanging out, even for just a little bit, let me know and I see what I can do. Each of you out there is such an encouragement to me. You’ll never know just how much your prayers and replies mean. Thank you every single one! I hope all is well with each of you. God bless!

In His Grip,

Michel Jon Willard

Mike's Musings (4/8/05)

Dear friends & family,

• Life Update

Well, another month has passed and not much has changed in my present chaplaincy. I continue to meet with a number of veterans here at the V.A. to help them through various crises and still find the need to continually lean on the support I gain from my faith in God, the care of my friends and the love of my family. One thing that has been in the process of change is my clarity about the process of becoming a fully certified chaplain. No, contrary to popular belief, I am not that now ;-) My current chaplaincy is a Residency, which is a fancy way of saying it's an internship. Becoming a full chaplain a bit more involved that just gradating from Seminary and becoming a licensed minister. According to what I've found out, in addition to what I will have by then end of this Residency, the Association of Professional Chaplains requires both ordination and official endorsement by my denomination, the Baptist General Conference (BGC) plus one year of work as a chaplain after my Residency. In order to endorse me for chaplaincy, the BGC requires two years of ministry experience, in addition to my license and M.Div. In order to fulfill these requirements, I have found out that my current Residency will count for one year and a second should take care of that. In terms of ordination, that is the responsibility of the local church within the BGC and I am currently looking for a church able and willing to ordain me. So, that's where things stand presently!

• Sharing My Journey: Waiting on God

As I have been sifting through all this in prayer and reflecting with God where He desires to take me in this life, I find myself reminded of what we called in theology class the Kingdom Paradox. It's that idea of how the Kingdom of God as ushered in by the work of Jesus Christ on the cross is both here now and in the future. Throughout the Gospels, Jesus refers to His Kingdom as both a present (Mk. 9:1) and future (Mk. 14:25) reality. I could cite more passages, but this is a reflective newsletter, not a theological dissertation ;-) Anyway, I think you get the idea. In my situation though, I feel it as a tension between the promises of God I see fulfilled in the past and those I know, in faith, will be fulfilled in the future. I know God is faithful, because I have seen His movement throughout my life up to this point (Deut. 7:9), and I trust God will be faithful for I know His promises for my future (Jer. 29: 11). Sometimes, I just find it hard living in the present space between, but I guess that's what faith is all about, right? As the author of Hebrews so often reminds us, "What is faith? It is the confident assurance that what we hope for is going to happen. It is the evidence of things we cannot yet see." (Heb. 11:1).

Here are a few of the poems that have been weaving through my heart as I reflect back on this month past:

The Silence

A cloud covers the joy of my life
The flame in my heart feels the cold wind of depression
No one seems to notice, no one seems to care.
The pain grows deep making its impression.

Yet this I know for sure,
While the clouds of darkness roll in
And my eyes with tears start to fill
My Lord, my God and my Redeemer loves me still!

Though His face seems turned away
I know His eyes will never stray.
Though His Presence is no longer felt
I know my tears His heart will melt.

Born Cracked
Born into the world a cracked vessel needing to be filled
The world she offers many things to fill it
Yet I always come back wanting more
Each thing feels right at first
But in time they all turn up lacking

Back in the garden we knew what it was to be filled
Back in the garden we knew what it was to be loved
Back in the garden we knew what it was to be accepted
Dear God why did we ever turn away from You the True Source

Cursed to walk this world abandoned, though we are never alone
You pursue us day and night yet still we run
Unable to turn, unable to be filled
Until by grace You extend the hand
And turn us around in Your Embrace

The cross makes this possible
The blood of Jesus fills our cracked vessel
His Blood seals the crack
In Him we are filled
In Him we are loved
In Him we are accepted

Though I know of His Love for me
Though I have soaked in the blood
Still my vessel leaks
Many are the times I know not filling
Many are the times I know not love
Many are the times I know not acceptance

Why is this the case?
Dear God, extend Your Hand
Dear God, send down Your Grace
Turn me around full in Your Embrace.

When Sorrow Abounds
When sorrow abounds
Let Your Love surround us

When the cry of our broken hearts rings from the depths
Incline Your ear, O Lord, and listen to our breaths

You are Jesus, Bearer of our grief
You are our Savior, our only relief

You are God, the Father of all comfort
In this our time of need, be not our last resort

You are the Holy Spirit, Who dwells in our heart
From Your life may we never depart

We are Your children, the sheep of Your fold
Come, O God, fall upon us manifold

We need Your saving grace
Enfold us Father in Your embrace

We need Your Truth from Your Word
Come, Spirit, and penetrate us with Your sword

In You we find life
And solace for our strife

In You we find forgiveness
And strength in our weakness

And though Your gift costs us nothing,
We can never be the same.
For everything changes in the presence of Your Name

You are love and life enfleshed
In You our hearts will never be famished

In You is everything we need
In our hearts, come, plant Your seed

Let Your Spirit dwell within us
Be our heart and soul focus

We are Your children, the sheep of Your hand
On You let us with everything depend.

That's all folks! Another month gone by! Keep me in your prayers and always and I'll keep you in mine. The next weekends I'll be down in St. Paul are as follows: April 15th-17th and May 13th-15th. If you're in the area and want to hang out during that time, just let me know. Thanks! I hope you are all well. And as Tiny Tim once said, "God bless us, everyone!"