Mike's New Place

• Mike’s Musings (06/01/2006) •

Dear family & friends,

• Life Update: Mike’s New Home

Well, all the furniture is in place and most of the bags and boxes are unpacked. My new apartment is a bit smaller than my old one, but still, it is beginning to feel like home. For those who might have missed it in my last newsletter, my new address is 26 10th Street West, Apartment #1104, Saint Paul, MN 55102 with (651) 290-2839 as my new home phone number. Both my cell phone number and email address remain the same: (651) 303-9675 and mwillard77@yahoo.com. My new jobs don’t start till next week, so I have spent a lot of time this week exploring my new neighborhood. From my balcony I can see both the Saint Paul Capital Building and the Saint Paul Cathedral. Within easy walking distance from my new place are the Science Museum of Minnesota, the Ordway Center for Performing Arts, as well as a number of other significant points of interest. So, anytime you guys come down to visit those places, you can pay me a visit as well or even invite me to come along! By the way, I will soon be taking pictures of my new place, as well as the view from my balcony. Anyone interested in receiving them via email, just let me know and I’ll send them along.

• Sharing My Journey: Developing Christ’s Character

It has been an interesting past few weeks as I have made the move and transition from Saint Cloud down to Saint Paul. I have had a lot time to think over the steps that brought me to where I am and what the next steps will be. These days, I find God is teaching me a lot about the short term and long term effects of certain choices I am making. It's not that my life is in an awful mess, but there are some areas where I am realizing I need to be more careful and prayerful about my actions. Sometimes it feels so "good" and easy to make a bad choice. Often times the choices aren't even obviously "bad" at the outset.

For instance, I own a lot of books, and with most of them, I bought them thinking, "God can use this to teach me a lot about myself, Him and others." Yet the truth is, those books cost me money. Money that may have been better spent elsewhere like going into a Savings account or going to my church. In addition, I also have a number of books I own that I have not even read yet. I buy the book with every intention of reading it and then life just goes by too quickly and there is sits still on my shelf. When you think about it, life is full of choices. In fact, we kind of make our lives what they are based on the choices we make. Sure, there are a number of things that happen that are out of our control, yet even those can be traced back to someone 's choice. In addition, while we may not be in control of everything that happens to us, we do have a choice as to what we do with "the time that is ours" to quote Lord of the Rings.

These days I am realizing that many of the best things in the Christian life require long-term investment. I am not talking about money, though I suppose it could work with that as well. No, What I am getting at here is the development of our character in Christ. To follow His way and become like Him is not a one-time choice. It is "a long obedience in the same direction" as Eugene Peterson writes. Paul describes it in Romans 5 saying: “Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us” (Romans 5:3-5) For better or worse, we are characterized by the choices we make. These days, I often find myself trying to make up for some of my bad choices and hoping the good ones I making will be enough. Thankfully, I know I am not alone. God is here with me. He is my strength even when I feel weak. He will help me stand, though, at times, I feel like I'm falling. He is my hope and my shield, the Rock upon which I stand.

For poems this month, I find myself reminded of two I have presented here before:

The Inner War
I woke up this morning and there you were in my face
The mirror your eyes, my soul your home
My worst enemy, my best friend
Everything I used to be, everything I might be again

Come back into the dark you whisper
But I’m yearning and fighting for the light
It’s so much easier and more comfortable there
Yet I know here is where I must remain

Hide yourself, it’s so much safer
No, I must be true to the world
I cannot don the mask of security
Cannot fake the act of sincerity
When everything I do and say is just a lie

Truth is more powerful than lie
And more powerful still when backed up by life
I know the life I should live
And I pray one day
It will be the life I do live

Born Cracked
Born into the world a cracked vessel needing to be filled
The world she offers many things to fill it
Yet I always come back wanting more
Each thing feels right at first
But in time they all turn up lacking

Back in the garden we knew what it was to be filled
Back in the garden we knew what it was to be loved
Back in the garden we knew what it was to be accepted
Dear God why did we ever turn away from You the True Source

Cursed to walk this world abandoned, though we are never alone
You pursue us day and night yet still we run
Unable to turn, unable to be filled
Until by grace You extend the hand
And turn us around in Your Embrace

The cross makes this possible
The blood of Jesus fills our cracked vessel
His Blood seals the crack
In Him we are filled
In Him we are loved
In Him we are accepted

Though I know of His Love for me
Though I have soaked in the blood
Still my vessel leaks
Many are the times I know not filling
Many are the times I know not love
Many are the times I know not acceptance

Why is this the case?
Dear God, extend Your Hand
Dear God, send down Your Grace
Turn me around full in Your Embrace.

We are God’s creation, each and every one of us, yet we are as yet unfinished projects. With every choice we make we take a step. Whether forward or back, His hand holds ours still and leads us along His way. He is our faithful Father and we are the sheep of His hand. With that I close for this month. May God’s Peace dwell richly in each of your hearts.