Grief: I expected it, but not like this . . .

It was the middle of my first week at my new job as a chaplain resident at the V.A. Center here in St. Cloud, when one of the head chaplains gave a presentation on grief to myself, the other chaplain resident and about a dozen or so recovering chemical dependants. I had expected to hear some stuff of relevance, given that I had just been to my grandmother's funeral that past weekend, yet there was more here than I ever would have expected. The chaplain started explaining how grief happens not only when we lose someone close to us, like Nana Willard, but anytime we lose something we've had a signifigant relationship with or attatchment to. Sometimes something as miner as a change in location or job can also trigger feelings of greif. Over the past two or three weeks, my life had gone through some signifigant changes: I had lost a grandmother, moved to a new city, changed jobs, gotten in a car accident (not my fault), not having as much free time due to the job change, having to change churches due to the location change and the distance between my firnds and I getting geographically bigger. All that came out to a Mike Willard who wasn't feeling his absolute best. Sitting in that classroom, I felt a release of sorts. I was going through a lot. It's okay to feel a bit out of it at times like this. It was like the Holy Spirit was speaking to me from inside my heart saying those often quoted words by Brennan Manning, "It's okay. I'm here. I love you and I'm for you." It was really good to hear that in such an unexpected place and time.