Meaningful Words (9/26/07)

In beginning to plan my Ordination Service, I have been think a lot about the poems, songs and scriptures that have shaped my life and ministry. Here are a few of the poems I’ve thought of:

Be Still
“Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.”
-Psalm 46:10

Be still, My child and know that you are loved.
Endless, limitless, eternal love is yours.
My Son paid the price and you are free to come.

Come and know Me
Come and know that you are loved.
Come with no expectations, for they will all be blown away.
Come with no preparations, the price has already been paid
Come with no restrictions for they are only self-imposed
Come desiring nothing, knowing you will receive all that is of true worth.

I am the One Who has loved you since before time began
As you were formed within your mother’s womb
I knew you and called you My chosen one
You are My child and I love you.

Forgiven
The Father:
I have already forgiven your sin.
Why do you bring it before Me again?

I have already washed you clean.
Why do you insist on playing in the dirt?

Accept My forgiveness.
Receive My cleansing.

Why do you cling to that which I have already released you from?
Why do you remain in the dungeon?
The chains have already been broken and the key thrown away.

The gates of iron have been flung wide open
And yet still you cower in this cage of your own making

The light has been shown forth
Yet you prefer the darkness

What more can I do for you, My child?

How else can I bid you come?
The table has already been set and the dinner bell is ringing
Is it possible you have not heard Me calling?

Answer Me and I will give you the desires of your heart.
I am your Father and have always been faithful.
Is this not the truth?
Listen to your heart, My child.
You know Who I am.
You have always known.

His Child:
Come unto me, O Desire of my heart!
Beckon me unto Your Feast, O Satisfier of my deepest hunger!
Dance with Me, O Romancer of my soul!
Set me beside the still waters, O Author of my peace!
Run with me, O my Ever True Companion
Guide my steps, O Victorious Winner of the race set before me!

You Who began this good work in me,
You are my Faithful Father
And You will finish what You have started!
Yes, You will finish what you have started!

Born Cracked
Born into the world a cracked vessel needing to be filled
The world she offers many things to fill it
Yet I always come back wanting more
Each thing feels right at first
But in time they all turn up lacking

Back in the garden we knew what it was to be filled
Back in the garden we knew what it was to be loved
Back in the garden we knew what it was to be accepted
Dear God why did we ever turn away from You the True Source

Cursed to walk this world abandoned, though we are never alone
You pursue us day and night yet still we run
Unable to turn, unable to be filled
Until by grace You extend the hand
And turn us around in Your Embrace

The cross makes this possible
The blood of Jesus fills our cracked vessel
His Blood seals the crack
In Him we are filled
In Him we are loved
In Him we are accepted

Though I know of His Love for me
Though I have soaked in the blood
Still my vessel leaks
Many are the times I know not filling
Many are the times I know not love
Many are the times I know not acceptance

Why is this the case?
Dear God, extend Your Hand
Dear God, send down Your Grace
Turn me around full in Your Embrace.

Let Go
The Father:
I invite you, My child, to let go.
Let go of your need to worry,
for it really does you no good.
Let go of your need to control,
for you really have none.
Let go of your need for a plan,
for I am all you really ever need!

I invite you, My child, to let Me in.
Let Me into your concerns,
for I can bear your load.
Let Me into your life,
for I do know what I am doing.
Let Me into your heart,
for I am the One you were created for.

I invite you, My child,
to know the truth.
Know that I care for you and I will see to your needs.
Know that I am taking care of them even now.
Know that I am Your Faithful Father.


His Child:
Lord, help me to trust when I don’t want to trust
Lord, help me to love when I don’t want to love
Lord, help to give, when I don’t want to give
To give my life to You.

For You, O Lord, are the Lover of my soul
And You, O Lord, are faithful
Yes, You O Lord, will watch over me
And care for me better than I ever could.

Thank you again and again to each and every one of you for joining me again as I share my life and ministry with you through this venue. My prayer for myself and each of you this month is the same one Jesus taught us to pray all those many years ago and continues to teach us even this day:

"Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
Your kingdom come,
Your will be done
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread.
Forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from the evil one.
for yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever.
Amen.

Sharing My Life (9/26/07): Arriving?

As I look forward to and plan for my Ordination Service, I find myself pausing and reflecting about what it will mean to be ordained. In the world of chaplaincy, it’s one notch below being Board-Certified, which is my next goal. Yet even after that, there will still be ongoing work and continual growth and improvement. Which brings me to the question, will I ever actually arrive in my ministry as a chaplain or even in my ministry in general? Will I ever get to the point where I can say I am finally doing the ministry God called me to? Or maybe I have arrived already. Maybe I am already ministering in the area where God has called me. Sometimes I get so into planning for and looking forward to my future ministry that I miss the opportunities right around me here and now. And maybe I’m not the only one? ;-)

Life Update (9/26/07): Get Your Calendars Ready!!

I met with Calvary’s Ordination Council a few weeks ago and they unanimously decided to recommend me for ordination! There were about twelve pastors there from five local churches and they asked me about various things from my opinions about infant baptism all the way to how I thought my view of the end times effected how I lived currently. There were a few questions that caught me off guard, but as a whole I think I handled myself pretty well with them, thank God. The council did suggest I get a mentor to help me develop my theology more, so I’ll be working on that as my pastor and I plan for the Ordination Service.

The Ordination Service is set to happen on Sunday, November 4th 2007 at Calvary Baptist Church, 2120 Lexington Ave. N., Roseville, MN 55113 at 4 pm in their Worship Center. I have invited Barry Jass, the pastor at Cornerstone Church, where I attended throughout my four years at Bethel Seminary, to give the main message and there will also be an opportunity for people to come up an lay hands on me in prayer for my continuing ministry. So, put the date on your calendars and come one, come all. I’d love to see any and all of you there.

A Vision for What We Can Become as the Church

Over the years I have been involved in a number of different churches both in a leadership role and as a lay person, and in through that involvement I have seen our weaknesses and strengths as the present body of Christ. I have also dreamed of what we could become. This is not a dream for any specific church, but for the Church at large. It is for Christ’s body throughout the United States and the world.

In the fourth chapter of his letter to the church in Ephesus, Paul writes to that church about the critical need to work together as a united body of Christ. He points out the gifts that each of us, as believers in Christ, have been given and says that these gifts are given to us to help us build each other up in Christ. These gifts lend are given to us to help us take part in the church through our roles therein and the culmination of that build-up is seen as the unification of the church. Through that unity we each and all will become what Christ dreamed for us to become. Indeed we will become what He gave His very life for us to become.

Maybe it’s just me, but whenever I read that passage I get chills. According to Paul we can become and do so much as a unified body of Christ, yet today we, as His body, are really pretty divided. We are divided by race, by politics, by age, by gender, by theology, by belief, by worship style, the list goes on. You name it and we are divided by it. It would almost seem that the very gifts that God has given us to make us each wonderfully unique children of God and to unite us as His diverse and harmonious body are the very things that divide us and keep us from being all that we were meant to be in Christ. Though Paul doesn’t come right out and say it, it seems pretty clear to me that there are things God means for us to do and become that we cannot in our current divided state.

Yet there is more to it than just coming together as a united body of Christ. The Holy Spirit has given us each gifts to share and roles in which to serve God as we work together to become all that He created us to become and do all that He dreamed we would do. Paul writes here of roles within the church, yet I believe his message also applies to almost every profession in the world today. Whether we be pastors, lawyers, doctors, nurses, social workers, counselors, janitors, carpenters, fill in the blank. Whatever role we have in the world is also meant to be our role in the church. For the church is more than just a building or denomination or a single small body of believers. It is each an every one of us who call ourselves Christians and are called by God in Christ working together to make a difference in this world through Christ for God.

What is this difference we were called to make? I believe we each and all already know the answer to that question. We may each articulate differently according to our own traditions and religious backgrounds, but I believe each and every one of you can agree that the Church exists to save the world. Indeed, probably the most know Bible verse in the world today, John 3:16, states just that: Christ came into the world to save it. And we, as His body, have the same mission. We exist to save the world!
Yet we cannot save the world in our current broken state. There are so many mission organizations, so many churches, so many ministries all working towards this same goal, yet so often we end up coming short. So often we become convinced that only we, in our ministry or our church or our mission, have the one right way of accomplishing the mission, that we miss the point. That point is that no one church or ministry or mission can do it alone, nor were we even meant to. We were meant to work together, each contributing our strengths and compensating for each other’s weaknesses.

This is my dream and my vision for the body of Christ. I dream the broken souls throughout the world would come to our doors and find there the healing they need. Healing for the soul through prayer, worship and biblical teaching; healing for their finances through financial assistance and planning; healing for their social needs through counseling and social networking; healing for the legal needs through legal advice and counsel; healing for their medical needs through healthcare; again the list goes on. The brokenness of our world is multi-faceted and it’s salvation is meant to be just as diverse. We each have gifts to give and a role to play, and the world has yet to experience what we are meant to be, the body of Christ dwelling and working together in unity!

Meaningful Words (9/4/07)

A week or so after I got the news from Saint Cloud, I got Overdressed, the latest CD from Caedmon’s Call, one of my favorite bands. I broke the seal, started to listen and found many of the songs really applicable to my current situation. Here are a few favorites:

Hold the Light
it’s been a long year
like a long sleepness night
Jacob wrestled the angel
but I’m too tired to fight
Every Wednesday
for two years we’ve met
I’ve showed you all my anger,
my doubts and bitterness

there was no judgment in your eyes
just the silent peace of God
that felt so real in you

will you hold the light for me?

and I stay up late
because I cannot sleep
I don’t want to face the quiet
where its just God and me

I’m waiting for the gavel
handing me the sentence down
because I don’t believe forgiveness
or even repentance now

I want to feel redemption
flowing through my veins
I want to see with clear eyes
beyond lust and hate
I want the war to be over
and know the good guys won
and I want love to hold me
to know I’m not alone

standing around a willow weeping
we were praying in the backyard
in the chill of the night
the friendship light reminded me who we are

Expectations
that boy had the highest of expectations
and he heard that Jesus would fill him up
maybe something got lost in the language
if this was full, then why bother?

this was not the way it looked on the billboard
smiling family beaming down on the interstate

and you know that we all try to blame someone
when our dreams won’t rise up from their sleep
and the reaching of the steeple felt like one more
expensive ad for something cheap

he dressed up nice for the congregation
scared somebody’s gonna find him out
through the din and the clatter of the hallelujahs
a stained-glass Jesus sings.

Start Again
I have a constant need for motion
I need to leave the past behind
to see all the good things I left dying
come to life
for so long I let the lies deceive me
and I let them take their toll
but I’m growing tired of the illusion
I am in control

you are there in all my histories
my victories and pains
you are there in all my shadows
with forgiveness you are waiting

when I need a place to hide
when I need a place to hide

I need hope to start again
I need hope to start again
you give me hope, and I need hope to start again

into my own hands I take matters
cause deep in my heart I stole the throne
where you have always led so faithfully
I know
doesn’t it seem I’m always running
and most of the time it’s not to you
(all other ground is sinking sand)
give me faith to know
your promises are true

here is the place where I face my secrets
and where I lay them down


Thank you to each and every one of you for joining me again as I share my life and ministry with you through this venue. As I think about how to close this letter out, I keep coming back to Paul’s exhortation for church unity in Ephesians 4: “As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to one hope when you were called— one Lord, one faith, one baptism; 6one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.” Paul then goes on to talk about how we as a church need to come together in unity to fully mature in Christ. It’s almost as if he’s saying there are things we are only capable of doing and being as one united church. We are only capable of doing so much in our present divided state. So, let us work together to help each other be all we can be in Him.

Sharing My Life (9/4/07): Rejoicing in the present moments

Being turned down by Saint Cloud really caused me to rethink how I think about God’s will for my life. I realized that part of the reason I was really disappointed is that I had been under the impression that it was God’s will that I be in Saint Cloud working full time as a chaplain there. Getting rejected kind of opened my eyes to the idea that maybe I don’t need to know what God’s will is that far down the path. All I really need to worry about is the time I have right here in front of me. The past is gone and cannot be change no matter how much I fret about it. The future is in God’s hands and only He knows what’s going to happen then. But this present moment, this piece of time is mine and God has given me everything I need to fully serve Him in it (Matthew 6:25-34).

Life Update (9/4/07): Staying around here

About a week and a half after I interviewed with Saint Cloud Hospital, they informed me that the position had been filled. At first I was a bit disappointed, but in the days and weeks that followed I am learning to be thankful for the opportunities I do have to work and minister, and not focus so much on the closed doors. My volunteer ministry work with Christian Student Fellowship is beginning to take shape and my work with St. John’s and St. Joe’s is continuing. Also, my Ordination Council is all set for Friday, September 14th at Calvary. Please keep me in prayer as I continue to serve God in the venues He has set before me. Thank you!

In addition, plans for my birthday celebration are coming together quickly now. The party itself is set for Wednesday, September 12th from 6-10 pm. Those coming are asked to bring their own food and beverage, as well as a group game to share, if they like. I am open to hanging out with people throughout that day and week to celebrate my birthday if they are unable to make it to the party. So, anyone in town, feel free to come on down and celebrate God’s work in and through me for another year!

Another cool video from GodTube

Cool Video from GodTube.com

Meaningful Words (7/28/07)

In light of the changes in my ministry and spiritual life, I share the following poetic thoughts:

Hate Sin, Love Sinner
She stares at me through the lenses of her half-priced glasses
All I feel wells up inside me in love,
Yet her lifestyle is of sin
Still He calls me to let her in,
Into my heart, into my world.
Though she has a different companion every night,
Still He calls me to love her with all my might.

(Chorus)
Hate the sin but love the sinner,
That’s what we all should do.
Love the sinner, but hate the sin,
Is what He calls us to do.

He sits in a jailhouse apartment.
A cell which has no windows.
Steel bars his only companions.
He’s on deathrow for his past,
Yet a Bible sits by his side.

(Chorus)

They lie in their beds
Both terminally waiting to be dead,
Without a hope for anything,
Yet I stand at their side knowing the Hope for everything.
They had joined in ways not meant to be,
But He calls me to love them as I do me,
And as their minds fill with anguish and sorrow for their sin,
I hear Him again, “Let them in.”

(Chorus)

I could go on for verse after verse,
And still not totally converse,
That which He has placed in my heart,
And which I, in prayer, must start.
We must love the sinner, but hate the sin.
(Chorus)

Remember, my friends, what ever else you may forget.
What ever else you do and may live to regret.
Though sin is from Satan,
The sinner is a child of God
The sinner is a child of God.

(Chorus).

There is a White
There is a white for this black of ours.
It will show itself in its hour,
But we who hold it in our hearts,
No ray of dark can penetrate our parts.

But what of this light?
What use is it, if it cannot shine bright!
Too often we turn away its source.
We take out our swords,
Made by the hand of Satan,
And slash it into oblivion.

But this light cannot die.
It cannot be swept away.
There are those who have claimed it
And the light lives on in them.

The light has a place in all of our hearts.
Every single one must play its part.
Through them this world will change.
Through them it will exchange
Its darkness for the EVERLASTING LIGHT!

A-men

I am very grateful for each of you joining me as I share my life and ministry with you in the fashion. When I was preparing to send out the party invitations, I was amazed at just how many people still receive this newsletter. Of course I know many of you may not even read it on a regular basis, but still I find it encouraging knowing at least some of you do. I do pray that God speaks to you through this sharing of His work in and through me. Jesus prayed for you and me during that dark night in Gethsemane and I echo his prayer today: “My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me. "Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world. "Righteous Father, though the world does not know you, I know you, and they know that you have sent me. I have made you known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them” (John 17:20-26).

Sharing My Life (7/28/07): Sharing God’s love

As I make my rounds as a chaplain, one of the most common comments against Christians that I hear is that most of us are hypocritical jerks. We certainly know how to talk the talk, but few of us really know what it means to walk the walk. Normally I just brush such comments off thinking that these people obviously don’t know the same Christians I do, but lately I’ve been thinking that they might not be that far off. When I see someone living in sin, my gut reaction is to judge first and act mercifully later, yet Jesus calls us to a higher standard as Paul indicates in Romans: “Let love be genuine; hate what is evil, hold fast to what is good; love one another with mutual affection; outdo one another in showing honor” (Romans 12:9-10). This means we, as followers of Christ, must show our love for each other and the world both in what we say and what we do. We must not only speak with love, truth and justice, we must also act in loving, true and just ways. Otherwise, our words will be lost amidst the volume of our actions. As Micah once said,

“He has showed you, O man, what is good.
And what does the LORD require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God” (Micah 6:8).

Life Update (7/28/07): Should I stay or should I go now?

I originally started volunteering at St. Joseph’s Chemical Dependency Department in an effort to gain more experience in that field and cultivate some more long-term care relationships. Unfortunately I found that their program has a pretty high patient turnout rate and most don’t stay there more than a week or so. That’s hardly enough time for me to invest in their lives in a helping fashion. So, I started looking for other ways to pursue those needs and found that Christian Student Fellowship, which I was already involved with through their Evensong Worship Community and Together Groups, was more than willing to let me become more involved with them! Then, just last Friday, St. Cloud Hospital called saying they would like to interview me for a full-time chaplain position! Two great ministry opportunities came my way within one week. Unfortunately, I cannot pursue both, so right now I’m planning on doing the interview this Friday (8/3) and seeing what happens from there. If the position fits, I am willing to move again, but if it does not, at least I have got good plans for this coming year here.

In addition, most of you should have received invitations to my 32nd Birthday Bash. If not, just send me an email and I will gladly send one off to you. It’s currently scheduled for Wednesday, September 12th at my place. The precise time and other details are still being worked out, so reply soon if you wish to stay informed ;-)

Mike's 32nd Birthday Bash!!!

Each birthday happens only once a lifetimes ;-)

My birthday is coming up in September and I'm starting to plan it a few months out this year, so I can let the party be a bit organic. As people reply with their availability and interest level, we'll work out the details . . . So far the date is set for September 12th, 2007 at my place. Reply by email for more details or check out the Event pages on Facebook and MySpace.

Meaningful Words (6/30/07)

Continuing to think along those lines reminds of me a few poems I wrote:

Forgiven
The Father:
I have already forgiven your sin.
Why do you bring it before Me again?

I have already washed you clean.
Why do you insist on playing in the dirt?

Accept My forgiveness.
Receive My cleansing.

Why do you cling to that which I have already released you from?
Why do you remain in the dungeon?
The chains have already been broken and the key thrown away.

The gates of iron have been flung wide open
And yet still you cower in this cage of your own making

The light has been shown forth
Yet you prefer the darkness

What more can I do for you, My child?

How else can I bid you come?
The table has already been set and the dinner bell is ringing
Is it possible you have not heard Me calling?

Answer Me and I will give you the desires of your heart.
I am your Father and have always been faithful.
Is this not the truth?
Listen to your heart, My child.
You know Who I am.
You have always known.

His child:
Come unto me, O Desire of my heart!
Beckon me unto Your Feast, O Satisfier of my deepest hunger!
Dance with Me, O Romancer of my soul!
Set me beside the still waters, O Author of my peace!
Run with me, O my Ever True Companion
Guide my steps, O Victorious Winner of the race set before me!

You Who began this good work in me,
You are my Faithful Father
And You will finish what You have started!
Yes, You will finish what you have started!

Let Go
The Father:
I invite you, My child, to let go.
Let go of your need to worry,
for it really does you no good.
Let go of your need to control,
for you really have none.
Let go of your need for a plan,
for I am all you really ever need!

I invite you, My child, to let Me in.
Let Me into your concerns,
for I can bear your load.
Let Me into your life,
for I do know what I am doing.
Let Me into your heart,
for I am the One you were created for.

I invite you, My child,
to know the truth.
Know that I care for you and I will see to your needs.
Know that I am taking care of them even now.
Know that I am Your Faithful Father.

His child:
Lord, help me to trust when I don’t want to trust
Lord, help me to love when I don’t want to love
Lord, help to give, when I don’t want to give
To give my life to You.

For You, O Lord, are the Lover of my soul
And You, O Lord, are faithful
Yes, You O Lord, will watch over me
And care for me better than I ever could.

I end, You begin
God, I’m tired, I’m through, I can’t do anymore
Since when did this life become such a chore?
My body is weary, my spirits are low
Why does it seem what I reap is far from what I sow?
Everything in me says go on and die
Yet deep inside me, there You still lie.

You say, it’s good I’m tired, it’s good I’m through, It’s good I can’t do anymore.
Now the real work begins, now I can really soar.
If I am at my end, that means I must turn to You again
Let Your Spirit refresh me, and Your blood wash me clean
For when I end, then You truly do begin

Thank you for joining me once again as I share my life and ministry with you in the fashion. I pray God spoke to you through this sharing of His work in and through me. As Paul said to his church in Philippi: “I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” (Philippians 1:3-6).

Sharing My Life (6/30/07): Going Biking with God

Speaking of bumpy rides, I was sharing my career and life journey with a friend of mine and he shared a little story from The Twelve Step Prayer Book where our relationship with God is likened to riding a tandem bike with Him up front. The road isn’t always straight and narrow and God definitely has a habit of taking both long ands short cuts. Yet through it all, He stays faithful. There have definitely been sometimes where my faith has felt a bit rocky, but through it all, He has held me firm and I know He will continue to guide me true. I’m posting the entire story on my blog, so you can snag a look at it there.

Thinking along those lines reminds me of a sermon that I heard at Evensong. It’s an Sunday evening service put on by Christian Student Fellowship, a college ministry, at Calvary. Anyway, the pastor there was speaking on walking in sync with God and likened it to being yoked with Jesus, like in Matthew 11:28-30. If we run too far ahead, Jesus will just stay put and let the yoke snap up back in to place. Ouch! On the other hand, if we drag out feet and just sit there, He’ll keep on going and the board designed to keep up in place will hit us in the back. Also ouch! Eventually we learn to keep in step with Jesus and thus we walk in sync with God. Sometimes I wonder if growing really has to be such a painful process ;-)

Life Update (6/30/07): Just a little while longer . . .

I met with Calvary’s Senior Pastor a few weeks ago and after giving me his comments on my Statement of Faith, we finally set an approximate date for the Ordination Council and Service. I wanted to set them up a few weeks apart so that if Council decides, for whatever reason, to delay my ordination, the Service can be rescheduled without too much inconvenience. So, it now looks like the Council will happen in September, with the Service hopefully following shortly there after in October. I know it’s been a bumpy ride, but if you hold on with me for just a little while longer I think we just might make it there ;-)

Bike Ride with God by Anonymous

Taken from the 12 Step Prayer Book:

Bike Ride with God

At first I saw God as my observer, my judge, keeping track of the things I did wrong, so as to know whether I merited heaven or hell when I die. He was out there sort of like the President. I recognized His picture when I saw it, but I didn't really know Him.

But later on when I recognized my Higher Power, it seemed as though life was rather like a bike ride; but it was a tandem bike, and I noticed that God was in the back helping me pedal.

I don't know just when it was that He suggested we change places, but life has not been the same since...life with my God makes life exciting.

When I had control, I knew the way. It was rather boring, but predictable. It was the shortest distance between two points.

But when He took the lead, He knew delightful long cuts, up mountains, and through rocky places and at breakneck speeds. It was all I could do to hang on! Even though it looked like madness, He said "pedal."

I worried and was anxious and asked, "Where are You taking me?" He laughed and didn't answer, and I started to trust.

I forgot my boring life and entered into the adventure; and when I'd say, "I'm scared," He'd lean back and touch my hand.

He took me to people with gifts that I needed, gifts of healing acceptance, and joy. They gave me their gifts to take on my journey; our journey, God's and mine.

And we were off again. He said, "Give the gifts away. They're extra baggage, too much weight." So I did, to the people we met, and I found that in giving I received, and still our burden was light.

I did not trust Him at first, in control of my life. I thought He'd wreck it. But He knew bike secrets, knew how to make it bend to take sharp corners, jump to clear high places filled with rocks, fly to shorten scary passages.

And I'm learning to shut up and pedal in the strangest places, and I'm beginning to enjoy the view and the cool breeze on my face with my delightful constant companion, my God.

And when I'm sure I can't do any more, He just smiles and says, "PEDAL"!

Meaningful Words (6/2/07)

I often hesitate when it comes to defining exactly how we can grow as Christians. I’m not quite sure why, but it really feels like I’m being a modern day Pharisee. Trying to define exactly what it means to grow up spiritually as if the church is another business or corporation where our value is based on our performance and it is being constantly revisited and re-evaluated. Maybe that’s why these two poems came to mind :

Pharisee
Sometimes I feel like a modern-day Pharisee
My outside is all nice and shiny
But inside I’m greasy, grimy

They tell me I’m great, they tell me I’m wonderful
If only they knew the truth, they’d tell me that I’m really full

But I keep it all inside
There in the darkness is where I hide
There where no one else dares abide

Yet into my life You come, O Lord
You, to whom, all my life is as an open door

Away you brush the thin layers of my outer mask
For even the thickest of walls, for You, would not be much of a task.

Deeper and deeper you delve within
Past all the muck, past all the sin

You wash it all clean with Your water of life
Freeing me from all my hate and strife

Lord, I Would Die for You
*If it would mean the salvation
Of one more sinner
Lord, I’d die for you.

For I cried the servant’s tears
It feels like I’ve served for a thousand years
And yet still the joy fulfills me.

But sometimes in the dark
You know I feel so afraid
Afraid to tell them of You
It seems easier to die.

*
I try to follow Your Word
But at times to do so seems almost absurd.
Lord, I want to do Your will.
But instead I just lie still.
And feel the warm embrace of Your love

*
*2I want to be a sacrifice
Lord, take all of me.
I want to be a sacrifice.
Lord, take all of me.
All of me.

All my selfish fear
Let Your precious blood wash away each tear
All my evil sin
Cleanse me from within
Till nothing remains
And there are no more stains
But all that is left is Your love.
And Your Holy Spirit in me as a dove.

**2

Thank you for joining me once again as I share my life and ministry with you in the fashion. I pray God spoke to you through this sharing of His work in and through me. As Paul said to his church in Colosse: “For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding. And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light. For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins” (Colossians 1:9-14).

Sharing My Life: Heart & Goals (6/2/07)

As part of my one-year anniversary at St. John’s, my supervisor took me through an annual performance evaluation where we looked at how I had done in the past year and what areas needed improvement. Not that I did a shabby job, but here at HealthEast, they have a motto of “If it isn’t broke, make it better,” so there is always room for improvement. Most of this is done through setting goals, coming up with strategies to meet those goals and following through with it all. All of the strategies and goals needed to be Specific, Attainable and Measurable (S.A.M.), which means they needed to focus on particular areas that needed improvement, needed to addressable and changeable by me, the goal-setter, and needed to be able to show the improvement made. So, I couldn’t just have a goal of being a better chaplain, I needed to define what it meant for me to improve as a chaplain, that definition needed to contain factors that I could control and I needed to be able to show exactly how I had improved as a chaplain.

In making goals for my work life, I began to ponder how it might work to make goals in other areas of my life, especially in the area of spiritual growth. Can I make S.A.M. goals and strategies for my spiritual growth? For me, one of the classic scriptural references for how to grow spiritually is this: “For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins” (2Peter 1:5-9) So, the question then becomes, can I make goals and strategies to grow in goodness, knowledge, self-control, perseverance, godliness, brotherly kindness and love? Hmm. Good question. In reflecting further, I came to realization that many of the goals and strategies like reading more books to growing in knowledge or praying more to grow in godliness were more behavioral changes than heart changes. And while behavioral change is good, perseverance, self control and the rest are best grown from the inside out. What’s more, changing the heart takes not only a lot of work on my part, it also takes a touch of grace from God, and that those heart changes take root as I grow them through fellowship with God and you, my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ and in humanity. So, now I want to open the floor to you. What do you think? Feel free to share your thoughts. You can reply to this email, post a comment on my blog or my Facebook profile. What has helped you grow spiritually? What have you seen work in other’s lives as well? We all want to grow more and more like Christ, don’t we? So, let’s talk about how we can help each other do just that.

Life Update: One-Year Anniversary (6/2/07)

Yes, it’s true. I found it hard to believe at first also, but I have now been with St. John’s Hospital for one full year. In that year I have become more adept at functioning as a chaplain in an acute care hospital and have made some progress to getting ordained with the Baptist General Conference. I’ll be meeting with the pastors at Calvary in the coming weeks to discuss the next steps in that process.