Releasing Control

• Mike’s Musings (05/08/2006) •

Dear family & friends,

• Life Update: Mike’s on the Move

Yes, it’s true. As I mentioned in my “Good News” email I got the job as the Condo Chaplain at St. John’s Hospital in Maplewood, MN. The job will start in June and I’ll be moving in a few weeks. A Going-Away party will also be held this Saturday. I’m sending a separate email with moving and party details. Let me know if you do not receive this email and would like too. Since my new job is only for 20 hours a week, I’ve also secured a Personal Care Attendant position with Accessible Space, Inc. in Roseville, MN to help fill in with additional income coverage. It’s a company that houses and provides assistance for mentally and physically challenged individuals.

• Sharing My Journey: Releasing Control

During the last few months and weeks as the time of this move came closer and plans began to become clearer, I have really been wrestling a lot with my desire to control things. Most of my friends have often commented appreciatively about my laid back and flexible way of handling things, yet these days I find myself more and more concerned about wanting things to turn out “just right.” In some ways, I never knew myself to be such a “control-freak” until certain things in my life started to become “unruly.” I didn’t realize the comfort having a steady income could bring, until I didn’t have one. I didn’t realize how much I had come to depend on my church and my friends there until they started having trouble and their trouble in turn affected me. This whole experience has definitely increased my awareness of how much others affect me and I them.

As I have sought God out in prayer through this, I have continually felt His invitation to let go and release more and more things and aspects of my life into His control. Really, if you think about it, He’s in control of it all anyway, so all I’m doing is acknowledging His faithfulness in my life and stepping out of the way. The more I embrace this truth, the more I am coming to realize what Jesus was talking about in Matthew 6, “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?” (Matt. 6:25), as well as Paul in Philippians 4, “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.” (Phil. 4:12)

For this month’s music and poetry section I went with two songs and a poem:

My Savior My God

From the album Anything Worth Saying
I am not skilled to understand
What God has willed, what God has planned
I only know at His right hand
Stands one who is my Savior

I take Him at His word and deed
Christ died to save me; this I read
And in my heart I find a need
Of Him to be my savior

That He would leave His place on high
And come for sinful man to die
You count it strange, so once did I
Before I knew my Savior

Chorus (2x’s)
My Savior loves, My Savior lives
My Savior’s always there for me
My God: He was, my God; He is
My God is always gonna be

Yes, living, dying, let me bring
My strength, my solace from this spring;
That He who lives to be my King
Once died to be my Savior

That He would leave His place on high
And come for sinful man to die
You count it strange, so once did I
Before I knew my Savior

Chorus (2x’s)

(Instrumental)

Chorus: (2x’s)

My Savior loves, My Savior lives
My Savior loves, My Savior lives
- Aaron Shust

Let Go
drink up, baby down
mmm, are you in or are you out
leave your things behind
'cause it's all going off without you
excuse me, too busy you’re writing your tragedy
these mishaps
you bubble wrap
when you've no idea what you're like

so (let go)let go, jump in
oh well, whatcha waiting for
it's alright
'cause there's beauty in the breakdown
so (let go)yeah, let go, just get in
oh, it's so amazing here
it's alright
'cause there's beauty in the breakdown

it gains the more it gives
and it rises with the fall
so hand me that remote
can't you see that all that stuff's a sideshow
such boundless pleasure
we've no time for later now
you can't await your own arrival
you've 20 seconds to comply

so (let go)let go, jump in
oh well, whatcha waiting for
it's alright
'cause there's beauty in the breakdown
so (let go)yeah, let go, just get in
oh, it's so amazing here
it's alright
'cause there's beauty in the breakdown

hey-ya hey-ya hey I..
hey-ya hey-ya hey.. mm heyehey
hey-ya hey-ya hey I..
hey-ya hey-ya hey.. mm heyehey

so let go, jump in
oh well, whatcha waiting for
it's alright
'cause there's beauty in the breakdown
so (let go)let go, just get in
oh, it's so amazing here
it's alright
'cause there's beauty in the breakdown
mm the breakdown
'cause there's beauty in the breakdown
so amazing here
'cause there's beauty in the breakdown...
- Frou Frou

I end, You begin
God, I’m tired, I’m through, I can’t do anymore
Since when did this life become such a chore?
My body is weary, my spirits are low
Why does it seem what I reap is far from what I sow?
Everything in me says go on and die
Yet deep inside me, there You still lie.

You say, it’s good I’m tired, it’s good I’m through, It’s good I can’t do anymore.
Now the real work begins, now I can really soar.
If I am at my end, that means I must turn to You again
Let Your Spirit refresh me, and Your blood wash me clean
For when I end, then You truly do begin
-Michel Jon Willard

Well, that’s all folks for this month. Thanks again for letting me share my life and ministry with you in this fashion. I pray that I will continue to open your eyes to the blessings His work in you is already bringing into your life and the lives of all those around you. When it all comes down to it, all we really need to know of God is that He loves each of us and is faithful to work out all things for His glory and our good. May His peace dwell every more richly in your hearts and minds.

In His Grip,
Michel Jon Willard