Letting Go Again

• Mike’s Musings (04/10/2006) •

Dear family & friends,

• Life Update: Still in Transition, Part 2

This Thursday (04/13/2006) I am scheduled for a second interview for the Condo Chaplain position at St. John’s in Maplewood, MN at 10:30 am. Your prayers would be appreciated. Pray for wisdom and discernment for both the Spiritual Care staff at St. John’s and myself. This job is not a full-time chaplain position, but getting it would take me one more step in that direction. In addition, I have contacted a local Baptist General Conference official who is willing to help me find a church in the area with whom to pursue ordination and we both know a common acquaintance in the area who manages a local Caribou store there in the Cities. Maybe he could give me more hours.

I have also applied at a number of other different job places around here, just in case I don’t get that job. My hope is that I’ll have a workable job situation by the end of April. If it does end up that I’m still here in St. Cloud, I can probably hook up with a near by church to pursue ordination with. I’m learning to take my time with this and let God show me how He desires me to walk through this.

• Sharing My Journey: Letting Go Again

It seems fitting to me that it is Easter season and here I am, once again, learning to “let go and let God.” Back in Jesus’ day, this was a time for the disciples to set aside their expectations of Who Jesus was and what it meant that He had come to save them. If you look through the Gospel accounts of Holy Week, you can see the disciples are still wresting with the idea of Jesus coming to die. They still had allusions of Him gaining political power and overthrowing Rome. James and John even ask to sit on Jesus’ right and left hand “in glory” (Mark 10:37) much to the incredulity of His other disciples (Mark 10:41). Yet the time was drawing near when what they thought would happen and what would actually happen would finally collide. In the aftermath of that collision, the disciples would be left with a choice. Would they cling to their old ideas and assumptions or embrace reality? They could no longer hold on to both at the same time. They had to totally let go of one to fully take hold of the other.

I too must let go of some old ideas, in order to fully take hold of the new. I have to let go of the idea of getting a job that will have everything I want now. If I don’t, how will I see the gradual steps God is laying out before me? I still want it all now, yet God says again, “Good things take time” and “As you grow stronger in Me, so things will become clearer.” God prepares His people for the tasks He appoints to them and does not give us more than they are ready for. Every step we take is preparation for the next one.

As I think through these things, I am reminded of a poem that I wrote last year and the song that went with it. The poem and song were called “Let Go." Both are available in the two posts previous to this one. I am also reminded of song by the group Pray for Rain appropriately called “I Don’t Understand.”:

I retreat
By myself at the back of my brain
I cannot see
What You're showing me through this pain
I have found
That I have found
Nothing for so long

Chorus
I don't understand
I don't need to
I know You've a plan
You will see through
It is in Your hands
I believe You

I say goodbye
I leave my loved ones far behind
I'm asking
Why is this is the story of my life
I have found
That I have found
Nothing for so long

Chorus

I was only wondering
I've been trying to understand
I know there is more
So much more than I can see

Chorus 2x

Well, that’s it for this month from this neck of God’s Kingdom. Thank you again to each of you for joining me as I share my life with you in this fashion. I pray God will continue to draw you closer to Him and make you more like Himself during this Holy Week. May He continue to open your eyes to His overflowing blessings already in your life.

In His Grip,

Michel Jon Willard