• Life Update
A belated Merry Christmas and timely Happy New Year to all you wonderful people you! I just got back a few days ago from spending Christmas with my folks in down in Florida. The weather there was warmer than here, though not by much ;-( The highlight of the trip was going to see Phantom of the Opera (the movie) with my folks and my aunt. Great movie! I highly recommended it. And this is coming from a guy who has seen the musical live a few times. They did a really good job of working the transition. I also spent a large part of the break discussing a book my Dad and I were reading together, Brian McLauren’s A New Kind of Christian. I think we would commend it highly to any Christian who wants to grow in knowing God and is ready to let Him out of some of the boxes you may have tried to stuff Him in. Though I wouldn’t suggest it for those who are comfortable with their faith as it is now. Brain addresses a number of differences between modern Christians and post-modern ones and some of them have the potential to make people squirm a bit.
• Sharing My Journey: The Discomfort of Growing in God
For a while now it feels like I have been going through a difficult transition in my relationship with God. During my first year at Bethel Seminary, I read The Critical Journey by Janet Hagburg and Robert A. Guelich. In it, the authors shared a 6-stage spiritual growth pattern that they have found in the lives of many Christians. The path begins with growing in Awe of God, then being Discipled by your church, and Producing more disciples like yourselves. According to my professor at the time, most Christians, including seminary graduates and pastors, stopped after those three. Why, you might ask? Because the fourth stage involves coming to a point in our faith walk where everything we have learned thus far, no longer works. And most people I know, including myself, at times, really don’t want to admit this is truly the case. That fourth stage is called the Inward Journey because it requires a re-focusing and a realization that there is nothing we can do on our own to grow beyond this point. The crisis that brings this on is referred to as The Wall and the only way through that wall is to realize our utter need for God and to totally depend on Him. As our dependence and trust grows, as He pours more and more of His Love into us, we will begin to be able to reach Outwardly in that love walking with Him and others in His Life of Love with us.
During this part of my life I feel like I have been the Inward and Outward Journeys for a long time. To make matters harder, I find most of the people around me still being Discipled or Producing and seemingly content to stay there. I fear sharing my struggles with them, not just because they may not understand them, but because I may be judged as a result or they may hear me as judging them. Yet I still feel God’s invitation to share with them. To share with you. I still feel His invitation to continue to grow in my dependence upon and trust in Him, no matter how painful it gets at times. In my case, the Wall has not been a single event, but a series of them, each bringing their own share of new lessons to learn and wrestle through. At times I feel like Neo wanting to throw open that car door and run back to the life I knew before, yet I still hear the Holy Spirit’s voice echoing Trinity’s, saying, “You’ve been down that road before, Mike, and I know that’s not where you want to be.”
The feelings and invitations would best be summed up in these two poems and song lyrics.
Be Still
“Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.”
-Psalm 46:10
Be still, My child and know that you are loved.
Endless, limitless, eternal love is yours.
My Son paid the price and you are free to come.
Come and know Me
Come and know that you are loved.
Come with no expectations, for they will all be blown away.
Come with no preparations, the price has already been paid
Come with no restrictions for they are only self-imposed
Come desiring nothing, knowing you will receive all that is of true worth.
I am the One Who has love you since before time began
As you were formed within your mother’s womb
I knew you and called you My chosen one
You are My child and I love you.
Let Go
The Father:
I invite you, My child, to let go.
Let go of your need to worry for it really does you no good.
Let go of your need to control for you really have none.
Let go of your need for a plan for I am all you really ever need!
I invite you, My child, to let Me in.
Let Me into your concerns for I can bear your load.
Let Me into your life for I do know what I am doing.
Let Me into your heart for I am the One you were created for.
I invite you, My child, to know the truth.
Know that I care for you and I will see to your needs.
Know that I am taking care of them even now.
Know that I am Your Faithful Father.
His Child:
Lord, help me to trust when I don’t want to trust
Lord, help me to love when I don’t want to love
Lord, help to give, when I don’t want to give
To give my life to You.
For You, O Lord, are the Lover of my soul
And You, O Lord, are faithful
Yes, You O Lord, will watch over me
And care for me better than I ever could.
Come to Jesus
Oh, my baby, when you're older
Maybe then you'll understand
You have angels that stands around you shoulders
'Cause at times in life you need a loving hand
Oh, my baby, when you're prayin'
Leave your burden by my door
You have Jesus standing by your bedside
To keep you calm, keep you safe,
Away from harm
Worry not my daughters,
Worry not my sons
Child, when life don't seem worth livin'
Come to Jesus and let Him hold you in His arms
Oh, my baby, when you're cryin'
Never hide your face from me
I've conquered hell and driven out the demons
I have come with a life to set you free
Worry not my daughters,
Worry not my sons
Child, when life don't seem worth livin'
Come to Jesus and let Him hold you in His arms
Oh, oh
Oh, oh
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Oh, my baby, when you're dying
Believe the healing of His hand
Here in Heaven we will wait for your arrival
Here in Heaven you will finally understand
Here in Heaven we will wait for your arrival
Here in Heaven you will finally understand
Worry not my daughters,
Worry not my sons
Child, when life don't seem worth livin'
Come to Jesus and let Him hold you in His arms
“Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.”
-Psalm 46:10
Be still, My child and know that you are loved.
Endless, limitless, eternal love is yours.
My Son paid the price and you are free to come.
Come and know Me
Come and know that you are loved.
Come with no expectations, for they will all be blown away.
Come with no preparations, the price has already been paid
Come with no restrictions for they are only self-imposed
Come desiring nothing, knowing you will receive all that is of true worth.
I am the One Who has love you since before time began
As you were formed within your mother’s womb
I knew you and called you My chosen one
You are My child and I love you.
Let Go
The Father:
I invite you, My child, to let go.
Let go of your need to worry for it really does you no good.
Let go of your need to control for you really have none.
Let go of your need for a plan for I am all you really ever need!
I invite you, My child, to let Me in.
Let Me into your concerns for I can bear your load.
Let Me into your life for I do know what I am doing.
Let Me into your heart for I am the One you were created for.
I invite you, My child, to know the truth.
Know that I care for you and I will see to your needs.
Know that I am taking care of them even now.
Know that I am Your Faithful Father.
His Child:
Lord, help me to trust when I don’t want to trust
Lord, help me to love when I don’t want to love
Lord, help to give, when I don’t want to give
To give my life to You.
For You, O Lord, are the Lover of my soul
And You, O Lord, are faithful
Yes, You O Lord, will watch over me
And care for me better than I ever could.
Come to Jesus
Oh, my baby, when you're older
Maybe then you'll understand
You have angels that stands around you shoulders
'Cause at times in life you need a loving hand
Oh, my baby, when you're prayin'
Leave your burden by my door
You have Jesus standing by your bedside
To keep you calm, keep you safe,
Away from harm
Worry not my daughters,
Worry not my sons
Child, when life don't seem worth livin'
Come to Jesus and let Him hold you in His arms
Oh, my baby, when you're cryin'
Never hide your face from me
I've conquered hell and driven out the demons
I have come with a life to set you free
Worry not my daughters,
Worry not my sons
Child, when life don't seem worth livin'
Come to Jesus and let Him hold you in His arms
Oh, oh
Oh, oh
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Oh, my baby, when you're dying
Believe the healing of His hand
Here in Heaven we will wait for your arrival
Here in Heaven you will finally understand
Here in Heaven we will wait for your arrival
Here in Heaven you will finally understand
Worry not my daughters,
Worry not my sons
Child, when life don't seem worth livin'
Come to Jesus and let Him hold you in His arms
By the way, the first two were my own and the third was from Mindy Smith’s album, One Moment More. Thanks again, so much for letting me share my life and ministry with you in this way. I pray you are blessed and drawn closer to our Loving Father through its reading. Certainly, I know I was in its writing. This month, I’ll be leading the Protestant service at the V.A. on January 9th. The service starts at 9:30 am and all are welcome to come. That also means I’ll get the following Friday off (the 14th and I would love to spend that weekend with some of you down in St. Paul or wherever. Just let me know what works best for you and I’ll see what I can do. I hope you are all doing well and enjoying this holiday season. May God’s presence tangibly touch each of your lives during this New Year.
In His Grip,
Michel Jon Willard
Michel Jon Willard
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