Mike's Musings (12-04-04)

Mike’s Musings (12/04/04)

Dear family & friends,

Life Update

Some of you out there still probably find yourselves wondering what I do in a typical day at the V.A. Well, it would probably be easier to describe my workload. Currently, at the V.A., I’ve been assigned to two floors, both of which have about 20 veterans per floor most ranging from 70 - 90+ years of age. My first major interaction with most of these happens through doing Spiritual Assessments (SA), a 13 in depth questionnaire which covers everything from their religious / denominational preference to their level of daily peace and what might be hindering that in their case. When a veteran is newly admitted on one of my floors, I am obligated to complete one these with them within two weeks of their arrival. In addition, I have weekly staff meetings for each of these floors where we do quarterly and yearly reviews of each veteran. I have found it a good idea to have the SA’s for those veterans being staffed in hand while attending these meetings. If an issue is raised during the SA, I then talk with the veteran to see how often s/he would like to meet to dialogue about it. There are also a few hospice veterans on those floors who get weekly visits. Every once in a while, there are also veterans who are diagnosed as Seriously Ill (SI) or close to death. These veterans get daily visits from yours truly.

In addition, I get to do some work with those veterans going through our Center for Chemical Dependency. I usually meet twice with these guys/gals. First, we take them through a computerized and much more thorough version of the SA (CAP) and talk with them about the results afterwards. Second, we meet with them to complete a Fifth Step. For those of you unfamiliar with AA terminology, this is where the veteran goes through and confesses all the wrongs that s/he has ever committed or had committed against him/her in the presence of God and one other person. I, basically, think of it as the Protestant version of Confession. In an average week, I complete about 5 SA’s, 4 CAP’s, 1-2 5th Steps, go to two staff meetings, meet a number of veterans on an ongoing basis and do the occasional SI. Since we are a hospital, and a V.A. one at that, every one of these encounters has to be documented. I also meet weekly with my fellow chaplains to talk through some of these veteran interactions and encourage each other on in our work together. So, I do find myself a bit busy these days ;-)

Sharing My Journey: Of Balance & the Never-ending Tyranny of Time

You got a glimpse of this in my last newsletter. Now, I guess, it’s time for the full deal. Just looking at the above “job description” makes me feel somewhat overwhelmed at times. Throughout the past days and weeks, I have come up against the need to balance taking time to care for others and myself again and again. There just never seem to be enough hours in the day to get through all I want to do and get everything I need to do done as well. My daily time with God in the mornings has become very precious to me throughout all this. Especially as I’ve taken to going through the Lord’s Prayer every morning and using it as a guide to pray through the day and all those I care about. I have found it amazing how much better a visit goes if I pray through it first and ask God’s peace to guard my heart and His grace to guide my steps. In addition, I have also found the experience to be a crucible for testing out how I’m meeting my needs and those of the people I minister with and to.

For poems this month, I’ve got two. I’ll also post my traditional Christmas poem on my blog website. The first is about being my own shepherd and the second is of caring for others. Coupled together, they tell of the balance I am working to achieve in my own life.

Lies & Truth
I'm feeling kinda venerable tonight
My mixed up emotions are bubbling through
What I know as truth seems so boring
And deception seems so exciting
Though I know the difference between them

Chorus:
Lord, will You be my strength?
When I don’t want to be strong?
Will You carry me along
When it all seems so far gone
Lord, will you help me fight
When it feels like the battle’s already been lost

To lie is sin and sin is death
In truth is life or so I’ve been told
Yet the lie looks so attractive
And the truth just seems so covered with dust
For a lie can look like the truth
Just as a wolf can don sheep’s clothing
But in truth it’s still a lie
Despite it’s appearance otherwise.
Yes, this must be a wolf in sheep’s clothing
And my resistance is low

Chorus

I know my emotions can fool me
But, man, what I feel seems so real
You say tomorrow will be different
Yet today still has so much left to live
The devil he is so clever
And I am so naïve

Chorus

And it all comes down to choice
Will I choose to live or die
Will I choose to believe the lie
Or embrace the truth that is Christ
To stand strong in His might
And know He is on my side
This, at least, I know is true
God is real and He cares for me.

Forgotten Tears
He sits at the end of the bar
washing away years of misery and sorrow with each vodka shot he downs

She sits in an abandoned house
waiting for a husband who will never come home.

He can have any girl he wants
but none can touch his fenced in heart.

She walks along the dusty road
heading for a home that no longer wants her company.

He sits by the roadside without a cent to his name,
his “friends” took everything they could claim.

She sits alone everyday,
none even think of joining her.

He sits in the back of church every Sunday
praying to a god he long ago decided was dead.

Everyone knows one.
Their faces crowd our streets and hallways.
Souls that life threw to the wayside.

Try to help them though we might,
we have no solution to offer.
Only eyes to cry their forgotten tears

Thank you again, so much, for letting me share my life and ministry with you in this way. I pray you are blessed and drawn closer to our Loving Father through its reading. Certainly, I know I was in its writing. This month, I’ll be leading the Protestant service at the V.A. on December 14th. The service starts at 9:30 am and all are welcome to come. That also means I’ll get the following Friday off and I would love to spend that weekend with some of you down in St. Paul or wherever. Just let me know what works best for you and I’ll see what I can do. I hope you are all doing well and enjoying this holiday season. May God’s presence tangibly touch each of your lives during this Advent and Christmas season.

In His Grip,
Michel Jon Willard