The Way of Jesus (2/22/10)

This year I have been attending a Bible study at church entitled "Seeing Jesus." We have been working our way through John's Gospel. Yesterday we were going through John 14, where Jesus says, "I am the Way, the Truth and the Life. No one comes to the Father but through Me" (Jn 14:6). As I was reading it, the following thought came to my mind and heart:

"This, then, is our Way in Christ. We follow Him in obedience by faith through love. Christ, in turn, loves us and shows us the Truth, which is in Him. In His Truth is freedom, freedom to live life to the fullest, to live life abundantly!" (Jn 8:31-32; 10:10; 14:6-7, 15, 21, 23).

I shared this with the class and our teacher shared a similar quote:

Follow thou me. I am the Way, the Truth and the Life. Without the Way, there is no going; without the Truth, there is no knowing; without the Life, there is no living. I am the Way thou must follow; the Truth thou must believe; the Life for which thou must hope. I am the inviolable Way; the infallible Truth; the never-ending Life. I am the straightest Life; the sovereign Truth; Life, true Life, Life blessed, Life uncreated. (Thomas A. Kempis, Imitation of Christ)

Let us, therefore, walk in His footsteps, just as Jesus has shown us. Amen.

For Valentine's Day . . .

I am a big fan of Gimundo, Good News, Served Daily. Today they posted an article on the longest married couple in the world. Herbert and Zelmyra Fisher have been married since 1924 and they are 102 and 104, respectfully. From now until tomorrow, February 13th they plan to answer 14 questions via Twitter. You can send your questions via Twitter to @longestmarried or to follow their feel, just click on the Twitter address and it will take you to their Twitter site. Have a great Valentine's Day!

Really good poem by one of my favorite therapists

My Declaration of Self-Esteem

            I am Me. In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me. Everything that comes out of me is authentically mine, because I alone chose it -- I own everything about me: my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions, whether they be to others or myself.

            I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears. I own my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes. Because I own all of me, I can become intimately acquainted with me. By so doing, I can love me and be friendly with all my parts. I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other aspects that I do not know -- but as long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously and hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles and ways to find out more about me.

            However I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically me. If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought, and felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that which I discarded. I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do.

            I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me. I own me, and therefore, I can engineer me. I am me, and I am Okay.

- Virginia Satir, Self Esteem

Meaningful Words (02/07/10)

So, here we are close to the end again. Here is where I share some of God’s work in and through me through poetry and song.  As I think through my school change, upcoming move and possible vision, here are some words that come to mind and heart:

There is a White

There is a white for this black of ours.

It will show itself in its hour,

But we who hold it in our hearts,

No ray of dark can penetrate our parts.

But what of this light?

What use is it, if it cannot shine bright!

Too often we turn away its source.

We take out our swords,

Made by the hand of Satan,

And slash it into oblivion.

But this light cannot die.

It cannot be swept away.

There are those who have claimed it

And the light lives on in them.

The light has a place in all of our hearts.

Every single one must play its part.

Through them this world will change.

Through them it will exchange

Its darkness for the EVERLASTING LIGHT!

A-men

Into the Woods

I saw you when you ran into the woods,

For I was there with you,

I was the One you were running away from,

Yet I was the One you were running to,

Which was I to you?

Which were you to Me?

How I long for you to cling to Me as you used to,

To feel your heart beat with mine,

To share your thoughts and know your mind,

Yet you have drifted far away and are ever still running,

Farther and farther you roam,

It seems almost as if you are at home,

There in the wilderness,

Off in the distance.

Come home to Me, My love, 

The journey is really not that long,

If you would but turn around,

Lift up your eyes and see,

There you would find me,

My gentle hands will wipe away your every tear,

The blood from My wounds will cleanse your every sin.

Cleansing and reaching ever deeper within,

Bring your broken hearts and shattered dreams

Lay them at My nail-pierced feet

For when you cried, I cried with you,

When you ran, I was there at your side,

When you hid there in the dark,

I was there as well.

I am with you always,

Not as a presence to be feared

But as One who knows you through and through,

One who has seen you at your worst and at your best

I know you, I love you, and I am for you.

Community

Christ in you, Christ in me

This is what it means to be a true community

Christ in you, Christ in me

This is what God desires, His earthly Trinity

Your heart beating next to mine,

My heart beating next to yours

And at the center, there is God

In our midst

Christ in you, Christ in me

This is what it means to be a true community

Christ in you, Christ in me

This is what God desires, His earthly Trinity

For there are loads we cannot carry alone

Never were meant to be on our own

But side by side,

Let me carry you,

And when I’m tired

You’ll carry me too.

And we can’t carry on

That’s when we’ll look to God

And find He’s been with us all along

Christ in you, Christ in me

This is what it means to be a true community

Christ in you, Christ in me

This is what God desires, His earthly Trinity

This road of life is long and narrow

With much toil and real sorrow

Yet hold to me,

As I hold to you,

And we will grow in His embrace.

Well, here we are at the end of another letter. Today is SuperBowl Sunday, the Colts are playing the Saints and, to be honest, I couldn't care less who wins. Yet as we gather with friends and family to watch the game, I hope and pray that we will see in each other, a far greater prize than any SuperBowl trophy. God has place His image in each of us and longs to bring it to light for the whole world to see. As my favorite Bible verse reads, “We are God’s works of art, created in Christ, to do good works, which He has laid out before us” (Ephesians 2:10). Thank you. I pray you are all doing well.

Sharing My Life (02/07/10): A vision of what may come . . .

Some of you have been with me long enough to know I have recently received a bit of clarity about my future in God’s kingdom. A mentor of mine, Greg Bourgond, recently helped me complete my Personal Life Mandate(PLM). If you’re receiving this via email, just click the link above and it will bring you to the proper page in my blog. Otherwise, just go to my blog (ww.mjwillard.blogspot.com) and search for it using the search box in the upper left-hand corner. Anyway, part of that PLM was a vision for the future entitled “Ultimate Contribution.” One of the reasons I elected to go into Argosy’s DMFT program is because along with giving me most of what I need to get a Marriage and Family Therapy license, it also helps students prepare to both supervise and teach future therapists. Part of my vision is not just to be a therapist who helps struggling people to find their full potential in Christ. It is also to equip and train others to do the same. I have always desired to learn things not just for the sake of knowledge, but to share that knowledge with those around me. By becoming a therapist and possibly a trainer of therapists, I hope to help fan the flame that exists in the hearts of those I work with. That flame which Christ first ignited in them and longs for them to share. In fanning the flame I desire to see a passion for knowing and sharing God’s love in all those around me.

Life Update (02/07/10): Still Changing . . .

I know it’s been a while since last I wrote and I apologize for that. Life can get so busy at times. Since last I wrote, two major changes have happened in my life. First off, I have transferred from the Masters in Mental Health Counseling Degree program at Capella University to the Doctorate of Marriage and Family Therapy program at Argosy University in Eagan, MN. The change in schools was mostly due to the lack of face to face contact I was getting at Capellla. As to the change in programs, partly that is because Argosy had that program and I thought why pursue another Masters degree, when I can get a Doctorate? The other reason will becoming later. Second, I have changed my mind about buying a house. While I do still need to move out of my present location by May, as I talked through the possibilities with my folks and friends, getting an apartment seemed to be a much more reasonable idea. At least for now ;-) So, now I am looking for a place nicely located between my church in Maple Grove, MN and Argosy in Eagan, MN. That covers a big area and fortunately, there’s still time between now and May. 

Silent Monks Singing Halleluia

hilarious!

Christmas & Political Correctness (12/16/09)

Christmas & Political Correctness

            For the past year, I have been tutoring at CityView Community School in Minneapolis, MN and yesterday I had an idea for this week before Winter Break.  I have been helping the children I work with improve their reading skills, and one of the ways we do this is by reading aloud together.  For this week, I thought it would be a cool idea to read “The Legend of the Candy Cane” together and then I would share candy canes with the children. 

            The story presents candy canes as a Christian evangelistic tool, showing that if you hold the cane long end up, it looks like a “J” and that stands for Jesus. If you point it down, then it looks like a shepherd’s crook and that reminds us that shepherds were the first to her of Christ’s birth. The red stripes symbolize Jesus’ blood shed for us and the white shows how we can be washed white as snow, free from our sins. I wasn’t sure about reading such an explicitly Christian story in a public school, so I asked the teacher I’ve been working with. Sure enough, she indicated I would not be able to read the story, but I could bring the candy canes to share.

            Once I got there this morning, she asked me to work with a couple girls I have been working closely with and said I could offer to share the story with them, since it was just two, and indicated I should ask them first, letting them know that the story did contain religious themes. At first, we just read through the book that they had been reading through that week. Then, towards the end, they asked about the book I brought and I did get a chance to share it with them. They enjoyed the story and thought the symbolism behind the candy cane was “cool.”  After we finished, they rushed off to tell the teacher and she was glad they like it. Then I shared my candy canes with the whole class. Over all, it was a great experience!

            It also made me think a bit about this whole Political Correctness idea we have today. As I have grown more confident in my faith and character, I have felt less offended by those who feel differently, and more able to share freely with them about my beliefs and listen intently as they share theirs.  I have come to find that though other’s ideas may be different then mine, that fact does not need to be an issue. When I share, I do not do so aggressively and I do not demand that others believe the same way that I do. Often I get the same feeling from them.

            Though at times there are aspects of the faith that will offend and confront others no matter what. Paul spoke of such in his letter to the Corinthians (1Corinthinas 1:22-25). Since we, as Christians, believe that Jesus is the one true Savior of the World, this is a bit of an exclusive faith, yet Jesus died for the sins of everyone. So while Jesus’ way is the only one that really works, it is open to all who will walk in it.

            It is also important that we not let the fact that our Gospel, is at times, inherently offensive get in the way of our being culturally sensitive in our faith sharing. Yes, we do have a faith that is exclusive in some respects and inclusive in others. At the same time, there are ways to share that message that people will still hear it, even if they are at first offended. Hopefully we can all find ways of sharing the true joy of Christmas this season in culturally sensitive ways.

            Here’s a seasonal poem I once wrote:

Immanuel

Son of God, Immanuel

Tonight You came with us to dwell

You came to show us how to live

You came to us eternal life to give

Child of the King, You came from above

To teach us the true meaning of love

Took on our flesh, took on our sin

Our earthly burden, You took within

By Your hands, our wounds were healed

With Your blood our hearts are sealed

Teach us this day

To walk in Your way

Almighty Father, watch over us

Protect us from our darkness

Holy Spirit, Who dwells within

Keep us this day from all sin

Jesus, Redeemer, Lover, and Friend

To us Your embrace now extend

As we gather with our family

As we gather with our friends

Your love guides our hearts, as we amble blindly

While we hold hands, Your grace descends

And for those of us, who spend this season alone

As our spirits within us groan

Remind us, I pray, that You are always there.

Remind us, O Lord, that You always care.

The road we walk is treacherous

But You O Lord are ever with us

Give us this day our daily bread

Watch over us as we go to bed.

A-men.

Meaningful Words (11/15/09)

What will your response be? This is not a one time decision, but a daily living in relationship with our loving God. Somedays I know His love for me and I rejoice in it. Like the love my parents have for me, it is not contingent on anything I do. It is mine simply because I am their son. When I can accept this as a daily reality, it changes how I live, walk, feel and even breath. Life is easier when I can take refuge in this reality. It is a source of great personal peace to know what even if I should loose my job, or get thrown out of my house, still God loves me, is there with me and is for me! 

Be Still

“Be still, and know that I am God;

I will be exalted among the nations,

I will be exalted in the earth.”

-Psalm 46:10

Be still, My child and know that you are loved.

Endless, limitless, eternal love is yours.

My Son paid the price and you are free to come.

Come and know Me

Come and know that you are loved.

Come with no expectations, for they will all be blown away.

Come with no preparations, the price has already been paid

Come with no restrictions for they are only self-imposed

Come desiring nothing, knowing you will receive all that is of true worth.

I am the One Who has loved you since before time began

As you were formed within your mother’s womb

I knew you and called you My chosen one

You are My child and I love you.

I Will Not Forget You

I will not forget you

I will not forget you, no (x2)

Though the winds may blow

And the troubles flow

Still I will not forget you

I will not forget you, no

For You are in control,

You have taken my heart,

You have redeemed my soul,

You have made me whole.

So I will not forget you, no!

My Heart

Lord, I give you my heart

All I am

All I have ever been

And ever hope to be

All I have done and ever plan to do

All I am and ever wanted to be

You are the One I was created for

Why have I searched so long for more

In You all my hopes are met

In You all my desires are satisfied

In You, at last, my heart has found   

its home.

No Love

There is no love greater than He has for you.

There is no price more than what He paid for you.

All of heaven is desperate for you.

All of creation is longing for you.

Will you turn to this love

And accept it as your own.

He loves you 

More than you could know.

Thank you again for staying with me thus far. I know my letters are often long and at times random in their arrival. Still I pray for each of you when I think of you and take great comfort in the fact that I am known and loved. May each of you know that as well. 

Sharing My Life (11/05/09): Unconditional Love

With Thanksgiving approaching, my mind naturally turns to ponder those things I am thankful for. Chief among these is the unconditional love I have from my Creator and my parents. Some of you may know this already, for those who do not, my folks and I have been spending more time together during recent years and becoming a stronger family unit. The past two years they have come up to Minnesota to be with me for the whole month of September. During one of our dinners together this past September, my Dad asked how my sense of their unconditional love was these days. I replied that I was thankful for it, even though I was still learning to accept it. 

As I thought about it later, I saw much of my relationship with God in that question and answer. Throughout the Bible we read numerous stories and passages that illustrate God’s unconditional love for us. God knows us in a deeper more intimate way than we could ever imaging, more than we even know ourselves. His love for us is equally as deep and intimate. Yet often, we do not feel this love. The love God has for us has never and will never change. It is as deep and wide for each of us now as it was the day we were born. It is not contingent on our earning of it. No matter what we did, we could never earn it. Nor do we have to. The price has already been paid in Christ Jesus and we are free to come.

What does change is our response. I later wrote my parents a letter in which I indicated that part of my difficulty with accepting their unconditional love was my fear. Like most people, I fear what I cannot control and there is nothing controllable about unconditional love. Quite the opposite. In one of his letters to the early church in Corinth, Paul writes an eloquent passage on love describing it as “non-judging” and “always hopeful” (1Corinthians 13). When confronted with this amazing love, most people can scarcely believe it is true and turn away in disbelief. Others, much like myself many days, accept it as if on condition and spend their lives trying to earn it. Neither is the response God ultimately desires. God desires people who worship Him not our of fear or obligation, but out of response to His unfathomable love. Life with God is not about trying to earn His love or redemption, it is about walking in joy and peace knowing it is already yours in Christ. 

Life Update (11/15/09): Some Things Change . . .

I have passed the halfway point in my second quarter at Capella and the homework is mounting. Four more weeks to go and I have two major papers left to write. The main drawback I am finding in going to school online is that it means spending much time home in front of my computer, plus, as I mentioned to a fellow employee, there’s no class time or class work. It’s all homework. As the months progress, I really miss the one-to-one interaction with my classmates that I got at Bethel and Gordon. There’s part of me that’s really thinking of transferring to an on campus school in the coming quarters. Saint Cloud State has a program much like the one I’m currently in with Capella. There’s also Argosy University down in Florida. With them I would do much of my work here in MN and go there for a two-week intensive every quarter. We will see how it all develops.

Work continues on. I have yet to hear back from Human Resources about my driving privileges, so I continue to work mainly as a PCA. One of the clients that I work with was finally able to buy and move into a home of his own. He has a six member family including children and grandchildren and they all wanted to live together. I have been working with them for over a year now trying to find them a home and am relieved to know that is done and we can move on to other goals.

Coincidently, I may need to do some house hunting of my own one of these days. Mark, my current roommate and landlord, may be getting engaged soon. That would mean I would need to move out. I have been renting in different places now, so the time may be at hand for me to finally buy a place of my own. The question is where. My folks would be glad to have me move down to Florida and I could take my work with Capella down there with me. On the other hand, I have gotten quite attached to my friends, church and current employer here, so it might behoove me to stay.  I will probably be talking with the realtor who helped the family I mentioned above find their place soon. We shall see. Prayers always appreciated.

Meaningful Words (10/04/09)

So, what story(ies) are you living in? Is it leading to the conclusion that you want?  Really? Poems, like stories, can bring to light the truths laid deep in our hearts. Here are a few that speak to me of good things to be a part of: 

Homeless Kids

Their eyes stare at you with sadness,

As they look at you through their half-priced glasses.

How can you say she’s a nuisance?

How can you say he doesn’t exist?

What is this mess?

Is there distress?

Who can wash the tears from their eyes?

Listen to their good-byes?

He can, He can

Yes, Jesus can.

Worthy

Who am I?

Did He really have to die?

For me, to live?

Am I worth the blood?

Am I worth the pain?

I look up to Heaven for an answer.

And He turns to me.

And says:

“My child, you’re worth it all!”

This Cross

I wear this cross around my neck to remind me

To remind me that I am no longer my own

To remind me that I have been bought with a price

To remind me that 2,000 years ago He died in my place

He took the blame that should have been mine

He took the pain that should have been mine

Every bad thought that goes through my head

Every terrible deed that I take part in

Every sin that I commit

Was summed up in those six hours He spent dying on this cross.

This cross reminds me that I have a Savior

No longer must I go it alone

This cross reminds me that I have a Father

No longer must I be a prodigal son

This cross reminds me that I have a family

No longer am I the only one

This cross reminds me of a Man who cared.

He cared for the homeless

He cared for the lonely

He cared for the brokenhearted

He cared for those without a heart

He cared for those society tears apart

He cared for sinners like you and me

He cared for everyone that we do and do not see.

He cared and He still cares

This cross stands for grace

Of greater worth than any gold

This cross stands for mercy

Enough to cover the greatest of sinners a hundred times over

This cross stands for strength

His made perfect in our weakness

This cross stands for power

An immeasurable amount to awesome to even comprehend

This cross stands for love

Unlike any ever imagined or seen

This cross stands for compassion

To receive back a wayward soul that cost Him His own life.

This cross stands for Jesus, my Savior and my Lord!

My friends, it has been good to share with you once more! Thank you for staying with me thus far. Feel free to reply back to this message with comments, news and prayers of your own. It is always good to hear from my brothers and sisters in Christ and from each of you. May God continue to shower His many blessings upon you!

Sharing My Life (10/04/09): Our Story

A few weeks ago, the pastors at Open Door started a new sermon series based on Paul’s letter to the church in Colossi. As is the habit at this church, they are still working through the first few verses and have been spending much time talking about what it means to be “in Christ.” Part of their emphasis which stood out to me was that to be “in Christ” means to be a part of His story. 

Last night I was watching Australia with Hugh Jackman and Nicole Kidman and found this theme of being in a story woven into that film. One of the main characters was a child by the name of Nullah. He was a child born of a native mother and a white father, and was not really accepted by either society. Nullah and others like him were called the Stolen Generation. Being neither native or white, he had no shared story to be a part of. Fortunately, his grandfather, an Aboriginal medicine man was willing to take him under his wing and bring him into that story. 

So comes the question, what story am I living in? What story are you living in? Are we living in the great American story of success and power? Are we living in the stories of our families, handed down to us by our parents and their parents? Are we living in the story of our local community, be it church, school, business or other? This is not meant as a criticism or judgment. I too find myself living within certain stories. I raise the issue only to heighten our awareness. 

Christ also offers a story to live in. As I mentioned before, part of being in Christ is being part of His story. The story is of God creating a people to love, a people that turn their backs to Him many times. Christ’s is a story of God giving us His law that we might come to know Him and then sending His own Son to embody that law among us. His is a story of a God Who loved His people so much, He sacrificed His own Son to bring us back to Him. This is the story that Jesus Christ invites us to be a part of!

Maybe you are now aware of the stories you are part of in your life. Some of them are healthy ones; some are not. We can choose which stories we will live in. Maybe you know of someone who, like Nullah, is without a story to call their own.  Perhaps you can be the one to adopt them into yours or even invite them into Christ’s. His arms are always open to gather in another lost sheep.

Life Update (10/04/09): Back to School Again

Fall has come to Minnesota. Gone are the long summer days filled with warm weather and outdoor fun. Winter has not come yet, but for now the temperatures are staying below 60 and I just finished packing away my shorts and T-shirts. This month also marks the start of a new quarter at Capella. This time I will be taking two courses: Ethnicity & Diversity and Theories of Personality. My work as a PCA continues to increase as my supervisors have yet to lift the prohibition on my driving with clients. Last I heard, it could be anywhere from 6 months to a year before I get that privilege back. In addition, I am volunteering through Open Door as a tutor for students at CityView, a Minneapolis public K-8th grade school that they have been in relationship with for a while. As you can see, it is going to be a busy season for me. Prayers are always appreciated.

Book Review: North or Be Eaten by Andrew Peterson

In this novel, Andrew continues his tale of the Igiby’s and their flight from the hands of Fangs of Dang. Having had the truth of their identities revealed to them at the end of the first novel, Janner, Tink and Leeli must now come to grips with their roots. The growing tension between Janner and Tink is especially intriguing to watch. Neither seems that comfortable with their new found positions in life. It reminds me of how the kings of Israel and the apostles were not always fond of the responsibility that came with their posts. This is a good message to me and the members of my generation. I have seen in myself and my fellows, a hesitancy to take positions of authority and an uncertainty about taking responsibility for the consequences of the choices we have made. 

I remember at the end of the first novel being a bit disenchanted when everyone made it through to the end. Where’s the intrigue if it all ends happily at the end? Yet in this novel, Andrew brought the Igeby’s through even more struggles and tribulations, making the story richer for it. I was sorry to see Leeli’s beloved Nugget, but I knew her character would grow stronger through the tragedy. Andrew, if you read this, I thank you foe another great novel and I look forward to reading the next.  

Book Review: On the Edge of the Dark Sea of Darkness by Andrew Peterson

I have been a long time fan of Andrew Peterson’s music, all the way back to his tour with Caedmon’s Call in the ’90’s. His music and lyrics are always rich and full of meaning. So, when I heard he was writing books I thought I might pick up a copy. I read through On the Edge of the Dark Sea of Darkness in less than a week and found myself eagerly waiting for more. Andrew’s use of humor along with adventurous and character rich storytelling makes for a wonderful read. It reminded me much of another favorite series of mine, C.S. Lewis’ Chronicles of Narnia.

Another part about this novel I enjoyed was Andrew’s subtle spiritual undertones. Like the Janners being the very Jewels of Anniera they had heard so much about their whole lives. It reminded me of how Paul describes us as God’s treasure in earthen vessels. The fact that Andrew was subtle in his sharing of his faith through writing makes it an even more compelling read. So much of Christian literature is right in your face with it’s symbolism and preaching, yet I have always enjoyed the softer, somewhat secretive voice of subtleness.

Meaningful Words (9/13/09)

As I ponder all that God has brought me through these past few months a couple of my poems come to mind, as well as a song by a secular group:

He is Bigger

I sit on the riverbank and rest awhile.

The water comes to rest and bumps on the sand.

I sit there contemplating I do not know what.

Believers and Atheists alike search for a meaning to life, to love, to death.

And it's standing right there before them,

With its crown of thorns and nail-pierced hands and feet.

The Atheists look and what do they see?

They see nothing for they do not know how to look,

And some don't care to look at all.

The Believers look and what do they see?

They see what they want to see, and nothing more.

But there's more to this life,

More to this love,

More to this death,

And more to this God.

This God is bigger. (2x)

No matter what your sin,

No matter what you've been through.

No matter what you've done.

No matter where you've been.

This God is bigger. (2x)

Jesus is bigger. (2x)

Yes, our God Jesus is bigger. (2x)

Bigger then we will ever know. (3x, fade 3)

There is a White

There is a white for this black of ours.

It will show itself in its hour,

But we who hold it in our hearts,

No ray of dark can penetrate our parts.

But what of this light?

What use is it, if it cannot shine bright!

Too often we turn away its source.

We take out our swords,

Made by the hand of Satan,

And slash it into oblivion.

But this light cannot die.

It cannot be swept away.

There are those who have claimed it

And the light lives on in them.

The light has a place in all of our hearts.

Every single one must play its part.

Through them this world will change.

Through them it will exchange

Its darkness for the EVERLASTING LIGHT!

A-men

Everything You Want

Somewhere there's speaking

It's already coming in

Oh and it's rising at the back of your mind

You never could get it

Unless you were fed it

Now you're here and you don't know why

But under skinned knees and the skid marks

Past the places where you used to learn

You howl and listen

Listen and wait for the

Echoes of angels who won't return

[Chorus]

He's everything you want

He's everything you need

He's everything inside of you

That you wish you could be

He says all the right things

At exactly the right time

But he means nothing to you

And you don't know why

You're waiting for someone

To put you together

You're waiting for someone to push you away

There's always another wound to discover

There's always something more you wish he'd say

[Chorus]

But you'll just sit tight

And watch it unwind

It's only what you're asking for

And you'll be just fine

With all of your time

It's only what you're waiting for

Out of the island

Into the highway

Past the places where you might have turned

You never did notice

But you still hide away

The anger of angels who won't return

[Chorus]

I am everything you want

I am everything you need

I am everything inside of you

That you wish you could be

I say all the right things

At exactly the right time

But I mean nothing to you and I don't know why

And I don't know why

Why

I don't know

- Vertical Horizon

God is everything we desire, even if sometimes we want nothing to do with Him. He loves us and He wants to use us to change the world in ways we cannot even imagine, or may not even really want to. I pray that God will open each one of your hearts to the work that He is doing in and through your lives. God wants you to be with Him in this. He is inviting you to work with Him to redeem and change this world. Will you heed the call?

Sharing My Life (9/13/09): Working with Others

These past few months I continue to work as a Personal Care Attendant, physically caring for people with disabilities. One of the lessons God uses this work to teach me is how to work with others, whether they be my fellow employees, clients, family members or friends. During this time God is really brining my passiveness to light. Most people who know me would say that I am a laid back guy. Not much seems to ruffle my feathers. Yet underneath, my mind is spinning with thoughts and my heart is teaming with emotions. Most of the time when I am frustrated, I have learned to keep quiet and pray about the situation. God has brought me through much in the past and this has taught me to trust Him. Yet, at times I see others who are not so silent or peaceful. They make their demands and frustrations known to the world and things change. At least for a time.

As I share my own desires and struggles with those around me, I endeavor to do so with gentleness and grace, so as not to create burdens for them or obligate them to respond in a certain way. Sometimes I get what I want, other times, I do not. Yet many of the times I do not get what I want, I come to see, in retrospect, that I am really better off without it. Life is not about getting what you want, or even wanting what you get. It is about using what God gives you to do His work in your life and those around you. In the end you probably will not get everything you want or think you need, but then do we really know, for sure, what we need and want? If we had everything we wanted, would we really be satisfied?

Life Update (9/13/09): Romania Trip

I know it has been a while since I last wrote. This newsletter is going from a monthly, to a bi-monthly, and now to a whenever I find the time publication ;-) Not intentionally, mind you, it just happens that way, I guess. My apologies to those who crave structure ;-) Anyway, the most exciting event of the summer was definitely my trip to Romania. As I mentioned in my last letter, I have recently finished Greg Bourgond’s Heart of a Warrior, a men’s spiritual formation journey. During the last few sessions of that journey, Greg mentioned that he was heading to Romania this summer for a second time to led Men’s Advances there and wanted to take one of us. I volunteered and at the end of August, off we went.

We spent nine days there and helped Greg lead two Men’s Advances during which he taught about how men can grow in their relationships with God, each other and their families through blessing and instilling values in those we love. During the second conference, I met a Romanian man by the name of Voyku. He is the one pictured with me in the photo to the left. Voyku is, without a doubt, one of God’s walking miracles.

A year or so ago, Voyku was in a terrible car accident here in the States. He and his brother, Cosmin, were visiting friends here. The accident left Voyku in a coma, which lead to him being diagnosed as brain dead and thus unable to live without life-support measures. Neither Voyku nor his brother had the money to do this, so the doctors decided to take Voyku off life-support, indicating that he probably would not live much longer after they did so. Cosmin, however, did not believe God was through with Voyku yet. He walked into Voyku’s room and called out his name three times. On the last call, Voyku’s eyes opened and he even tried to get up out of bed. The doctors were amazed! Six months later, Voyku returned to the hospital able to move the right side of his body and speak with pauses. The doctors were speechless and prescribed physical therapy. When I met him, he was able to walk without assistance and his left side was getting stronger every day. The last day of that conference Greg, a few other men and I gathered around Voyku to honor his strength, to praise God for His mighty work in Voyku’s life and ask His blessing and continued healing for Voyku. As for me, my faith was strengthened just by meeting Voyku. I am definitely returning next year to see his progress and to help in whatever way I can to further God’s work there in Romania. All the money I received for my birthday yesterday is going towards funding that trip and you are welcome to contribute as well, if you like.

Personal Life Mandate (developed by Michel J. Willard & Greg Bourgond

LIFE PURPOSE

My vision is to work with people and churches that have been wrecked by the world to help them see how God has been present with them even in the midst of their tragedies and He is inviting them to turn these tragedies into spiritual laboratories where God can hone and shape them into the men, women and churches He has designed them to be and connecting them with stronger Christians and churches that can support them along this journey.

COMMITTED PASSION

My committed passion is to help facilitate a journey to wholeness for people buffeted by the difficulties of life, people who have suffered debilitation, people who have been scarred by their experience, people who have experienced devastating loss, people who have been marginalized or disenfranchised, and people, by their own action, who have become addicted in one way or another seeking to cope with the struggles in their lives.

ROLE CHARACTERISTICS

The characteristics of a role that will support my life purpose and committed passion include the following:

• Opportunities to nurture and develop deep and meaningful relationships.
• Flexibility to take the time to invest in those meaningful relationships.
• Ability to share my relationship with God in Christ as the source of all real meaning in my relationships.
• Ability to network resources to finance those I'm working with who need it and know how to use it well.
• Ability to network struggling people with more developed ones who can help them grow.
• Ability to network struggling churches with stronger ones in mutually beneficial relationships.
• Availability of training in personality, strength and skill compatibility.

UNIQUE METHODOLOGIES

I intend to act faithfully through a commitment to acting in accordance with my ministry principles and core values, by leveraging my natural strengths, by finding appropriate expression for my personality temperament, by exercising my leadership style in appropriate and life-giving ways, and by applying my innate abilities and acquired skills.

My unique methodologies find their roots in essentially five major ministry insights that have thematically repeated themselves over time in my ministry experience.

• Living a Holy Spirit empowered life in dependence upon God in the model of His Son Jesus Christ is the only way to truly live life to it’s fullness. (Rom 5:1, Rom 5:5, Rom 6:4-11, 1Cor 12:3, Gal 2:20, Gal 5:5)
• God loves every person on this earth and desires him/her to be in intimate relationship with Him. (Jn. 3:16, 1Pet 3:9)
• We were not meant to live this life on our own, but in community with God and His people. (Ecl. 4:9-12, Matt. 18:15-17, Jn. 15, 1Jn 1:5-7)
• No one is perfect, but Jesus Christ. (2Cor 5:21, Heb 4:15)
• Prayer is foundational to everything else. (Phil 4:6-7)
• Honesty is always the best policy. (Prov 14:5, Lk 8:15, Eph 4:25, Col 3:9)
• Trust is earned, not given. (Ps 25:2, Ps 111:7, Ps 115:9, Ps 118: 8-9)
• Trust precedes intimacy. (Jn 15:4)
• Love is the most powerful force in the universe. (1Cor 13)
• Relationships are where real life happens. (1Jn 3:10-12)
• Good relationships take time to develop and require two-way effort. (Jn 15:4, Jesus relationship w/ Peter)
• Humility and integrity are the keys to true authenticity. (Rom 5:3-5, 2Cor 4:7-9)
• Humility and character come through suffering. (Rom 5: 3-5, 2Cor 4:7-9)
• Compassion and trust are the keys to a good relationship. (Jn 21:15-19)
• Community is built through loyal friendship. (Ecl 4:9-12, Matt 18:15-17, Jn 6:66-68)

Core Values:

• Authenticity: To let the light of my true identity in Christ in show through with every person I interact with in all situations I find myself in. (Prov. 11:3, Eph 2:10, Tit. 2:6-8).
• Compassion: To see and care for others in a Christ-like manner. (Isaiah 54:7-8, Matt. 9:36, Matt. 25:31-46, Lk. 15:11-31, 1Pet 3:9).
• Growth: I am not the same person I was yesterday and am daily being formed into Christ’s likeness by the power of His Holy Spirit at work in my heart. (Rom 5:1-5, 2Cor 4:7-9, 16-18).
• Faithfulness: To stay true to my friends and my convictions. (Josh. 24:14, Matt 5:33-37, Eph. 4:1-16, 2Pet 1:5-9).
• Community: To live in true fellowship with my fellow Christians and non-Christians by caring for them as Christ does and receiving their care as a manifestation of God’s love to me. (Ecc 4:9-12, Matt 18:15-17, John 13:34-35, John 17:20-26).

Spiritual Gifts:

I intend to use my spiritual gifts to further God’s redemptive purposes in alignment with His leading in my life. These gifts will be cultivated and matured as I exercise them faithfully through service opportunities provided by Him. These gifts include Mercy, Shepherd, Knowledge, Teaching, and Exhortation.

Natural Strengths:

• Empathy – I sense the feelings of others by imagining myself in their lives or other situations.
• Connectedness – I have faith in the links between all things; there are few coincidences and almost every event has a reason.
• Individualization – I am intrigued with the unique qualities of each person. I have a gift for figuring out how people who are different can work together productively.
• Developer – I recognize and seek to develop the potential in others. I can spot the signs of each small improvement and derive satisfaction from these improvements.
• Belief – I have certain core values that are unchanging. Out of these values emerges a defined purpose for my life.

Personality Temperament: INFP - introversion (I), intuitive (N), feeling (F), perceiving (P)

I am idealistic, loyal to my values and to people who are important to me. I want an external life that is congruent with my values. I am curious, quick to see possibilities, and I can be a catalyst for implementing ideas. I seek to understand people and to help them fulfill their potential. I am adaptable, flexible, and accepting unless a value is threatened.

Leadership Style: primary - partner; secondary – coach; I work best coming alongside others and working together to reach goals and objectives. I also enjoy coaching others so that they realize they can do more than they think.

Aptitudes: I possess the innate abilities of listening, observation, analysis, and creativity.

Acquired Skills: I have acquired competency in counseling, writing, singing, and story telling.

ULTIMATE CONTRIBUTION

I realize that I am still growing and being developed as a man of God, so my vision of what God is calling me to accomplish is still very much in process. As I look towards the future and reflect about what I feel God desires me to do with my life, I see people working together in mutually beneficial partnerships, helping each other to growing Christ. This was made possible through people seeing how I partnered with others in their spiritual development and feeling led to do likewise. In a similar way, I envision churches partnering with each other to help each other grow into the churches God designed them to be. I see people encouraging each other to focus on and grow in their strengths, while also watching out for when their weakness become their downfall. As a platform for all of this, I see a foundation called Lazarus Developments that works to partner with individuals and churches to empower them financially, spiritually and any other way they feel led to in order to help their partners grow in Christ. Resources are not just given away, they are given to promote the development of God’s kingdom here on earth.