Meaningful Words (6/21/09)

With the demands of school, work, friends and all the other issues in my life, I definitely need to abide in Christ to gain His peace amidst it all. In that vein, here are a few poems I have written about finding peace in Him:

Lord, I Would Die for You

*If it would mean the salvation

Of one more sinner

Lord, I’d die for you.

For I cried the servant’s tears

It feels like I’ve served for a thousand years

And yet still the joy fulfills me.

But sometimes in the dark

You know I feel so afraid

Afraid to tell them of You

It seems easier to die.

*

I try to follow Your Word

But at times to do so seems almost absurd.

Lord, I want to do Your will.

But instead I just lie still.

And feel the warm embrace of Your love

*

*2I want to be a sacrifice

Lord, take all of me.

I want to be a sacrifice.

Lord, take all of me.

All of me.

All my selfish fear

Let Your precious blood wash away each tear

All my evil sin

Cleanse me from within

Till nothing remains

And there are no more stains

But all that is left is Your love.

And Your Holy Spirit in me as a dove.

**2

The Silence

A cloud covers the joy of my life

The flame in my heart feels the cold wind of depression

No one seems to notice, no one seems to care.

The pain grows deep making its impression.

Yet this I know for sure,

While the clouds of darkness roll in

And my eyes with tears start to fill

My Lord, my God and my Redeemer loves me still!

Though His face seems turned away

I know His eyes will never stray.

Though His Presence is no longer felt

I know my tears His heart will melt.

I end, You begin

God, I’m tired, I’m through, I can’t do anymore

Since when did this life become such a chore?

My body is weary, my spirits are low

Why does it seem what I reap is far from what I sow?

Everything in me says go on and die

Yet deep inside me, there You still lie.

You say, it’s good I’m tired, it’s good I’m through, It’s good I can’t do anymore.

Now the real work begins, now I can really soar.

If I am at my end, that means I must turn to You again

Let Your Spirit refresh me, and Your blood wash me clean

For when I end, then You truly do begin

Thank you for joining me once again as I share with you my life and journey with God. I pray you are encouraged by what you read here. Please let me know of any way that I keep you in prayer this month and others. Keep me in prayer also. I may sound like I know it all ;-) Really, I’m just as in need of prayer as any other. Thank you again for reading and praying. I hope all is well with each of you. God bless!

Sharing My Life (6/21/09): Trusting in God

About a month or so ago, my Dad asked me what I thought Jesus would say to this current world. How would He call this current generation to seek Him? Would He tell them of their sin and that they need to pursue righteousness? What do sin and righteousness look like these days? In my experience, Jesus approaches people based on their needs. While I cannot speak for everyone in this world, I can say how this has worked in my own life.

At this point in my life, one of my most pressing needs is peace. Busyness plagues our society in so many ways. I now have school, work, social life, recovery and other things all vying for my attention and in the midst of it all I desire to have a vibrant relationship with God. Each thing in my life requires my full attention to attend to it well, yet how do I balance it all. The truth is I cannot; nor was I ever meant to. I am convinced that God constantly sends more our way than we can handle. He does this not to overwhelm and punish us, but to drive us to Him. It is only within my relationship with God that I can ever hope to manage the beautiful mess of my life. He is the One ultimately in control anyway, so it only stands to reason that if I to have balance in my life, I need to abide in Him. Learning to abide in Him daily. There in lies my peace!

Life Update (6/21/09): Back to School

Following my application denial from Bethel Seminary’s MFT program, I decided to pursue my options elsewhere. In looking at various degree programs and state licensure requirements. I discovered that while getting a graduate certificate would allow me to get licensed here in Minnesota. However, if I ever wanted to practice anywhere else, like Florida to be closer to my folks, I would need still further training. What I really needed to do was to go ahead and get a second Master’s in Counseling. It was even better the school was accredited by the Council for Accreditation of Counseling and Related Educational Programs (CACREP) and had a program that could fit my schedule as an ILS Worker. I found all of that with Capella University’s Master of Science in Mental Health Counseling. Capella is an online university that is fully accredited by CACREP and the Higher Learning Commission. Currently I am enrolled in Survey of Research in Human Development and classes have been in session for a couple weeks now. So far, it’s going all right.

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For all those among my readers who are or know anybody in our US Armed Forces. You are appreciated and prayed for!