Silent Monks Singing Halleluia

hilarious!

Christmas & Political Correctness (12/16/09)

Christmas & Political Correctness

            For the past year, I have been tutoring at CityView Community School in Minneapolis, MN and yesterday I had an idea for this week before Winter Break.  I have been helping the children I work with improve their reading skills, and one of the ways we do this is by reading aloud together.  For this week, I thought it would be a cool idea to read “The Legend of the Candy Cane” together and then I would share candy canes with the children. 

            The story presents candy canes as a Christian evangelistic tool, showing that if you hold the cane long end up, it looks like a “J” and that stands for Jesus. If you point it down, then it looks like a shepherd’s crook and that reminds us that shepherds were the first to her of Christ’s birth. The red stripes symbolize Jesus’ blood shed for us and the white shows how we can be washed white as snow, free from our sins. I wasn’t sure about reading such an explicitly Christian story in a public school, so I asked the teacher I’ve been working with. Sure enough, she indicated I would not be able to read the story, but I could bring the candy canes to share.

            Once I got there this morning, she asked me to work with a couple girls I have been working closely with and said I could offer to share the story with them, since it was just two, and indicated I should ask them first, letting them know that the story did contain religious themes. At first, we just read through the book that they had been reading through that week. Then, towards the end, they asked about the book I brought and I did get a chance to share it with them. They enjoyed the story and thought the symbolism behind the candy cane was “cool.”  After we finished, they rushed off to tell the teacher and she was glad they like it. Then I shared my candy canes with the whole class. Over all, it was a great experience!

            It also made me think a bit about this whole Political Correctness idea we have today. As I have grown more confident in my faith and character, I have felt less offended by those who feel differently, and more able to share freely with them about my beliefs and listen intently as they share theirs.  I have come to find that though other’s ideas may be different then mine, that fact does not need to be an issue. When I share, I do not do so aggressively and I do not demand that others believe the same way that I do. Often I get the same feeling from them.

            Though at times there are aspects of the faith that will offend and confront others no matter what. Paul spoke of such in his letter to the Corinthians (1Corinthinas 1:22-25). Since we, as Christians, believe that Jesus is the one true Savior of the World, this is a bit of an exclusive faith, yet Jesus died for the sins of everyone. So while Jesus’ way is the only one that really works, it is open to all who will walk in it.

            It is also important that we not let the fact that our Gospel, is at times, inherently offensive get in the way of our being culturally sensitive in our faith sharing. Yes, we do have a faith that is exclusive in some respects and inclusive in others. At the same time, there are ways to share that message that people will still hear it, even if they are at first offended. Hopefully we can all find ways of sharing the true joy of Christmas this season in culturally sensitive ways.

            Here’s a seasonal poem I once wrote:

Immanuel

Son of God, Immanuel

Tonight You came with us to dwell

You came to show us how to live

You came to us eternal life to give

Child of the King, You came from above

To teach us the true meaning of love

Took on our flesh, took on our sin

Our earthly burden, You took within

By Your hands, our wounds were healed

With Your blood our hearts are sealed

Teach us this day

To walk in Your way

Almighty Father, watch over us

Protect us from our darkness

Holy Spirit, Who dwells within

Keep us this day from all sin

Jesus, Redeemer, Lover, and Friend

To us Your embrace now extend

As we gather with our family

As we gather with our friends

Your love guides our hearts, as we amble blindly

While we hold hands, Your grace descends

And for those of us, who spend this season alone

As our spirits within us groan

Remind us, I pray, that You are always there.

Remind us, O Lord, that You always care.

The road we walk is treacherous

But You O Lord are ever with us

Give us this day our daily bread

Watch over us as we go to bed.

A-men.

Meaningful Words (11/15/09)

What will your response be? This is not a one time decision, but a daily living in relationship with our loving God. Somedays I know His love for me and I rejoice in it. Like the love my parents have for me, it is not contingent on anything I do. It is mine simply because I am their son. When I can accept this as a daily reality, it changes how I live, walk, feel and even breath. Life is easier when I can take refuge in this reality. It is a source of great personal peace to know what even if I should loose my job, or get thrown out of my house, still God loves me, is there with me and is for me! 

Be Still

“Be still, and know that I am God;

I will be exalted among the nations,

I will be exalted in the earth.”

-Psalm 46:10

Be still, My child and know that you are loved.

Endless, limitless, eternal love is yours.

My Son paid the price and you are free to come.

Come and know Me

Come and know that you are loved.

Come with no expectations, for they will all be blown away.

Come with no preparations, the price has already been paid

Come with no restrictions for they are only self-imposed

Come desiring nothing, knowing you will receive all that is of true worth.

I am the One Who has loved you since before time began

As you were formed within your mother’s womb

I knew you and called you My chosen one

You are My child and I love you.

I Will Not Forget You

I will not forget you

I will not forget you, no (x2)

Though the winds may blow

And the troubles flow

Still I will not forget you

I will not forget you, no

For You are in control,

You have taken my heart,

You have redeemed my soul,

You have made me whole.

So I will not forget you, no!

My Heart

Lord, I give you my heart

All I am

All I have ever been

And ever hope to be

All I have done and ever plan to do

All I am and ever wanted to be

You are the One I was created for

Why have I searched so long for more

In You all my hopes are met

In You all my desires are satisfied

In You, at last, my heart has found   

its home.

No Love

There is no love greater than He has for you.

There is no price more than what He paid for you.

All of heaven is desperate for you.

All of creation is longing for you.

Will you turn to this love

And accept it as your own.

He loves you 

More than you could know.

Thank you again for staying with me thus far. I know my letters are often long and at times random in their arrival. Still I pray for each of you when I think of you and take great comfort in the fact that I am known and loved. May each of you know that as well. 

Sharing My Life (11/05/09): Unconditional Love

With Thanksgiving approaching, my mind naturally turns to ponder those things I am thankful for. Chief among these is the unconditional love I have from my Creator and my parents. Some of you may know this already, for those who do not, my folks and I have been spending more time together during recent years and becoming a stronger family unit. The past two years they have come up to Minnesota to be with me for the whole month of September. During one of our dinners together this past September, my Dad asked how my sense of their unconditional love was these days. I replied that I was thankful for it, even though I was still learning to accept it. 

As I thought about it later, I saw much of my relationship with God in that question and answer. Throughout the Bible we read numerous stories and passages that illustrate God’s unconditional love for us. God knows us in a deeper more intimate way than we could ever imaging, more than we even know ourselves. His love for us is equally as deep and intimate. Yet often, we do not feel this love. The love God has for us has never and will never change. It is as deep and wide for each of us now as it was the day we were born. It is not contingent on our earning of it. No matter what we did, we could never earn it. Nor do we have to. The price has already been paid in Christ Jesus and we are free to come.

What does change is our response. I later wrote my parents a letter in which I indicated that part of my difficulty with accepting their unconditional love was my fear. Like most people, I fear what I cannot control and there is nothing controllable about unconditional love. Quite the opposite. In one of his letters to the early church in Corinth, Paul writes an eloquent passage on love describing it as “non-judging” and “always hopeful” (1Corinthians 13). When confronted with this amazing love, most people can scarcely believe it is true and turn away in disbelief. Others, much like myself many days, accept it as if on condition and spend their lives trying to earn it. Neither is the response God ultimately desires. God desires people who worship Him not our of fear or obligation, but out of response to His unfathomable love. Life with God is not about trying to earn His love or redemption, it is about walking in joy and peace knowing it is already yours in Christ. 

Life Update (11/15/09): Some Things Change . . .

I have passed the halfway point in my second quarter at Capella and the homework is mounting. Four more weeks to go and I have two major papers left to write. The main drawback I am finding in going to school online is that it means spending much time home in front of my computer, plus, as I mentioned to a fellow employee, there’s no class time or class work. It’s all homework. As the months progress, I really miss the one-to-one interaction with my classmates that I got at Bethel and Gordon. There’s part of me that’s really thinking of transferring to an on campus school in the coming quarters. Saint Cloud State has a program much like the one I’m currently in with Capella. There’s also Argosy University down in Florida. With them I would do much of my work here in MN and go there for a two-week intensive every quarter. We will see how it all develops.

Work continues on. I have yet to hear back from Human Resources about my driving privileges, so I continue to work mainly as a PCA. One of the clients that I work with was finally able to buy and move into a home of his own. He has a six member family including children and grandchildren and they all wanted to live together. I have been working with them for over a year now trying to find them a home and am relieved to know that is done and we can move on to other goals.

Coincidently, I may need to do some house hunting of my own one of these days. Mark, my current roommate and landlord, may be getting engaged soon. That would mean I would need to move out. I have been renting in different places now, so the time may be at hand for me to finally buy a place of my own. The question is where. My folks would be glad to have me move down to Florida and I could take my work with Capella down there with me. On the other hand, I have gotten quite attached to my friends, church and current employer here, so it might behoove me to stay.  I will probably be talking with the realtor who helped the family I mentioned above find their place soon. We shall see. Prayers always appreciated.

Meaningful Words (10/04/09)

So, what story(ies) are you living in? Is it leading to the conclusion that you want?  Really? Poems, like stories, can bring to light the truths laid deep in our hearts. Here are a few that speak to me of good things to be a part of: 

Homeless Kids

Their eyes stare at you with sadness,

As they look at you through their half-priced glasses.

How can you say she’s a nuisance?

How can you say he doesn’t exist?

What is this mess?

Is there distress?

Who can wash the tears from their eyes?

Listen to their good-byes?

He can, He can

Yes, Jesus can.

Worthy

Who am I?

Did He really have to die?

For me, to live?

Am I worth the blood?

Am I worth the pain?

I look up to Heaven for an answer.

And He turns to me.

And says:

“My child, you’re worth it all!”

This Cross

I wear this cross around my neck to remind me

To remind me that I am no longer my own

To remind me that I have been bought with a price

To remind me that 2,000 years ago He died in my place

He took the blame that should have been mine

He took the pain that should have been mine

Every bad thought that goes through my head

Every terrible deed that I take part in

Every sin that I commit

Was summed up in those six hours He spent dying on this cross.

This cross reminds me that I have a Savior

No longer must I go it alone

This cross reminds me that I have a Father

No longer must I be a prodigal son

This cross reminds me that I have a family

No longer am I the only one

This cross reminds me of a Man who cared.

He cared for the homeless

He cared for the lonely

He cared for the brokenhearted

He cared for those without a heart

He cared for those society tears apart

He cared for sinners like you and me

He cared for everyone that we do and do not see.

He cared and He still cares

This cross stands for grace

Of greater worth than any gold

This cross stands for mercy

Enough to cover the greatest of sinners a hundred times over

This cross stands for strength

His made perfect in our weakness

This cross stands for power

An immeasurable amount to awesome to even comprehend

This cross stands for love

Unlike any ever imagined or seen

This cross stands for compassion

To receive back a wayward soul that cost Him His own life.

This cross stands for Jesus, my Savior and my Lord!

My friends, it has been good to share with you once more! Thank you for staying with me thus far. Feel free to reply back to this message with comments, news and prayers of your own. It is always good to hear from my brothers and sisters in Christ and from each of you. May God continue to shower His many blessings upon you!

Sharing My Life (10/04/09): Our Story

A few weeks ago, the pastors at Open Door started a new sermon series based on Paul’s letter to the church in Colossi. As is the habit at this church, they are still working through the first few verses and have been spending much time talking about what it means to be “in Christ.” Part of their emphasis which stood out to me was that to be “in Christ” means to be a part of His story. 

Last night I was watching Australia with Hugh Jackman and Nicole Kidman and found this theme of being in a story woven into that film. One of the main characters was a child by the name of Nullah. He was a child born of a native mother and a white father, and was not really accepted by either society. Nullah and others like him were called the Stolen Generation. Being neither native or white, he had no shared story to be a part of. Fortunately, his grandfather, an Aboriginal medicine man was willing to take him under his wing and bring him into that story. 

So comes the question, what story am I living in? What story are you living in? Are we living in the great American story of success and power? Are we living in the stories of our families, handed down to us by our parents and their parents? Are we living in the story of our local community, be it church, school, business or other? This is not meant as a criticism or judgment. I too find myself living within certain stories. I raise the issue only to heighten our awareness. 

Christ also offers a story to live in. As I mentioned before, part of being in Christ is being part of His story. The story is of God creating a people to love, a people that turn their backs to Him many times. Christ’s is a story of God giving us His law that we might come to know Him and then sending His own Son to embody that law among us. His is a story of a God Who loved His people so much, He sacrificed His own Son to bring us back to Him. This is the story that Jesus Christ invites us to be a part of!

Maybe you are now aware of the stories you are part of in your life. Some of them are healthy ones; some are not. We can choose which stories we will live in. Maybe you know of someone who, like Nullah, is without a story to call their own.  Perhaps you can be the one to adopt them into yours or even invite them into Christ’s. His arms are always open to gather in another lost sheep.

Life Update (10/04/09): Back to School Again

Fall has come to Minnesota. Gone are the long summer days filled with warm weather and outdoor fun. Winter has not come yet, but for now the temperatures are staying below 60 and I just finished packing away my shorts and T-shirts. This month also marks the start of a new quarter at Capella. This time I will be taking two courses: Ethnicity & Diversity and Theories of Personality. My work as a PCA continues to increase as my supervisors have yet to lift the prohibition on my driving with clients. Last I heard, it could be anywhere from 6 months to a year before I get that privilege back. In addition, I am volunteering through Open Door as a tutor for students at CityView, a Minneapolis public K-8th grade school that they have been in relationship with for a while. As you can see, it is going to be a busy season for me. Prayers are always appreciated.

Book Review: North or Be Eaten by Andrew Peterson

In this novel, Andrew continues his tale of the Igiby’s and their flight from the hands of Fangs of Dang. Having had the truth of their identities revealed to them at the end of the first novel, Janner, Tink and Leeli must now come to grips with their roots. The growing tension between Janner and Tink is especially intriguing to watch. Neither seems that comfortable with their new found positions in life. It reminds me of how the kings of Israel and the apostles were not always fond of the responsibility that came with their posts. This is a good message to me and the members of my generation. I have seen in myself and my fellows, a hesitancy to take positions of authority and an uncertainty about taking responsibility for the consequences of the choices we have made. 

I remember at the end of the first novel being a bit disenchanted when everyone made it through to the end. Where’s the intrigue if it all ends happily at the end? Yet in this novel, Andrew brought the Igeby’s through even more struggles and tribulations, making the story richer for it. I was sorry to see Leeli’s beloved Nugget, but I knew her character would grow stronger through the tragedy. Andrew, if you read this, I thank you foe another great novel and I look forward to reading the next.  

Book Review: On the Edge of the Dark Sea of Darkness by Andrew Peterson

I have been a long time fan of Andrew Peterson’s music, all the way back to his tour with Caedmon’s Call in the ’90’s. His music and lyrics are always rich and full of meaning. So, when I heard he was writing books I thought I might pick up a copy. I read through On the Edge of the Dark Sea of Darkness in less than a week and found myself eagerly waiting for more. Andrew’s use of humor along with adventurous and character rich storytelling makes for a wonderful read. It reminded me much of another favorite series of mine, C.S. Lewis’ Chronicles of Narnia.

Another part about this novel I enjoyed was Andrew’s subtle spiritual undertones. Like the Janners being the very Jewels of Anniera they had heard so much about their whole lives. It reminded me of how Paul describes us as God’s treasure in earthen vessels. The fact that Andrew was subtle in his sharing of his faith through writing makes it an even more compelling read. So much of Christian literature is right in your face with it’s symbolism and preaching, yet I have always enjoyed the softer, somewhat secretive voice of subtleness.

Meaningful Words (9/13/09)

As I ponder all that God has brought me through these past few months a couple of my poems come to mind, as well as a song by a secular group:

He is Bigger

I sit on the riverbank and rest awhile.

The water comes to rest and bumps on the sand.

I sit there contemplating I do not know what.

Believers and Atheists alike search for a meaning to life, to love, to death.

And it's standing right there before them,

With its crown of thorns and nail-pierced hands and feet.

The Atheists look and what do they see?

They see nothing for they do not know how to look,

And some don't care to look at all.

The Believers look and what do they see?

They see what they want to see, and nothing more.

But there's more to this life,

More to this love,

More to this death,

And more to this God.

This God is bigger. (2x)

No matter what your sin,

No matter what you've been through.

No matter what you've done.

No matter where you've been.

This God is bigger. (2x)

Jesus is bigger. (2x)

Yes, our God Jesus is bigger. (2x)

Bigger then we will ever know. (3x, fade 3)

There is a White

There is a white for this black of ours.

It will show itself in its hour,

But we who hold it in our hearts,

No ray of dark can penetrate our parts.

But what of this light?

What use is it, if it cannot shine bright!

Too often we turn away its source.

We take out our swords,

Made by the hand of Satan,

And slash it into oblivion.

But this light cannot die.

It cannot be swept away.

There are those who have claimed it

And the light lives on in them.

The light has a place in all of our hearts.

Every single one must play its part.

Through them this world will change.

Through them it will exchange

Its darkness for the EVERLASTING LIGHT!

A-men

Everything You Want

Somewhere there's speaking

It's already coming in

Oh and it's rising at the back of your mind

You never could get it

Unless you were fed it

Now you're here and you don't know why

But under skinned knees and the skid marks

Past the places where you used to learn

You howl and listen

Listen and wait for the

Echoes of angels who won't return

[Chorus]

He's everything you want

He's everything you need

He's everything inside of you

That you wish you could be

He says all the right things

At exactly the right time

But he means nothing to you

And you don't know why

You're waiting for someone

To put you together

You're waiting for someone to push you away

There's always another wound to discover

There's always something more you wish he'd say

[Chorus]

But you'll just sit tight

And watch it unwind

It's only what you're asking for

And you'll be just fine

With all of your time

It's only what you're waiting for

Out of the island

Into the highway

Past the places where you might have turned

You never did notice

But you still hide away

The anger of angels who won't return

[Chorus]

I am everything you want

I am everything you need

I am everything inside of you

That you wish you could be

I say all the right things

At exactly the right time

But I mean nothing to you and I don't know why

And I don't know why

Why

I don't know

- Vertical Horizon

God is everything we desire, even if sometimes we want nothing to do with Him. He loves us and He wants to use us to change the world in ways we cannot even imagine, or may not even really want to. I pray that God will open each one of your hearts to the work that He is doing in and through your lives. God wants you to be with Him in this. He is inviting you to work with Him to redeem and change this world. Will you heed the call?

Sharing My Life (9/13/09): Working with Others

These past few months I continue to work as a Personal Care Attendant, physically caring for people with disabilities. One of the lessons God uses this work to teach me is how to work with others, whether they be my fellow employees, clients, family members or friends. During this time God is really brining my passiveness to light. Most people who know me would say that I am a laid back guy. Not much seems to ruffle my feathers. Yet underneath, my mind is spinning with thoughts and my heart is teaming with emotions. Most of the time when I am frustrated, I have learned to keep quiet and pray about the situation. God has brought me through much in the past and this has taught me to trust Him. Yet, at times I see others who are not so silent or peaceful. They make their demands and frustrations known to the world and things change. At least for a time.

As I share my own desires and struggles with those around me, I endeavor to do so with gentleness and grace, so as not to create burdens for them or obligate them to respond in a certain way. Sometimes I get what I want, other times, I do not. Yet many of the times I do not get what I want, I come to see, in retrospect, that I am really better off without it. Life is not about getting what you want, or even wanting what you get. It is about using what God gives you to do His work in your life and those around you. In the end you probably will not get everything you want or think you need, but then do we really know, for sure, what we need and want? If we had everything we wanted, would we really be satisfied?

Life Update (9/13/09): Romania Trip

I know it has been a while since I last wrote. This newsletter is going from a monthly, to a bi-monthly, and now to a whenever I find the time publication ;-) Not intentionally, mind you, it just happens that way, I guess. My apologies to those who crave structure ;-) Anyway, the most exciting event of the summer was definitely my trip to Romania. As I mentioned in my last letter, I have recently finished Greg Bourgond’s Heart of a Warrior, a men’s spiritual formation journey. During the last few sessions of that journey, Greg mentioned that he was heading to Romania this summer for a second time to led Men’s Advances there and wanted to take one of us. I volunteered and at the end of August, off we went.

We spent nine days there and helped Greg lead two Men’s Advances during which he taught about how men can grow in their relationships with God, each other and their families through blessing and instilling values in those we love. During the second conference, I met a Romanian man by the name of Voyku. He is the one pictured with me in the photo to the left. Voyku is, without a doubt, one of God’s walking miracles.

A year or so ago, Voyku was in a terrible car accident here in the States. He and his brother, Cosmin, were visiting friends here. The accident left Voyku in a coma, which lead to him being diagnosed as brain dead and thus unable to live without life-support measures. Neither Voyku nor his brother had the money to do this, so the doctors decided to take Voyku off life-support, indicating that he probably would not live much longer after they did so. Cosmin, however, did not believe God was through with Voyku yet. He walked into Voyku’s room and called out his name three times. On the last call, Voyku’s eyes opened and he even tried to get up out of bed. The doctors were amazed! Six months later, Voyku returned to the hospital able to move the right side of his body and speak with pauses. The doctors were speechless and prescribed physical therapy. When I met him, he was able to walk without assistance and his left side was getting stronger every day. The last day of that conference Greg, a few other men and I gathered around Voyku to honor his strength, to praise God for His mighty work in Voyku’s life and ask His blessing and continued healing for Voyku. As for me, my faith was strengthened just by meeting Voyku. I am definitely returning next year to see his progress and to help in whatever way I can to further God’s work there in Romania. All the money I received for my birthday yesterday is going towards funding that trip and you are welcome to contribute as well, if you like.

Personal Life Mandate (developed by Michel J. Willard & Greg Bourgond

LIFE PURPOSE

My vision is to work with people and churches that have been wrecked by the world to help them see how God has been present with them even in the midst of their tragedies and He is inviting them to turn these tragedies into spiritual laboratories where God can hone and shape them into the men, women and churches He has designed them to be and connecting them with stronger Christians and churches that can support them along this journey.

COMMITTED PASSION

My committed passion is to help facilitate a journey to wholeness for people buffeted by the difficulties of life, people who have suffered debilitation, people who have been scarred by their experience, people who have experienced devastating loss, people who have been marginalized or disenfranchised, and people, by their own action, who have become addicted in one way or another seeking to cope with the struggles in their lives.

ROLE CHARACTERISTICS

The characteristics of a role that will support my life purpose and committed passion include the following:

• Opportunities to nurture and develop deep and meaningful relationships.
• Flexibility to take the time to invest in those meaningful relationships.
• Ability to share my relationship with God in Christ as the source of all real meaning in my relationships.
• Ability to network resources to finance those I'm working with who need it and know how to use it well.
• Ability to network struggling people with more developed ones who can help them grow.
• Ability to network struggling churches with stronger ones in mutually beneficial relationships.
• Availability of training in personality, strength and skill compatibility.

UNIQUE METHODOLOGIES

I intend to act faithfully through a commitment to acting in accordance with my ministry principles and core values, by leveraging my natural strengths, by finding appropriate expression for my personality temperament, by exercising my leadership style in appropriate and life-giving ways, and by applying my innate abilities and acquired skills.

My unique methodologies find their roots in essentially five major ministry insights that have thematically repeated themselves over time in my ministry experience.

• Living a Holy Spirit empowered life in dependence upon God in the model of His Son Jesus Christ is the only way to truly live life to it’s fullness. (Rom 5:1, Rom 5:5, Rom 6:4-11, 1Cor 12:3, Gal 2:20, Gal 5:5)
• God loves every person on this earth and desires him/her to be in intimate relationship with Him. (Jn. 3:16, 1Pet 3:9)
• We were not meant to live this life on our own, but in community with God and His people. (Ecl. 4:9-12, Matt. 18:15-17, Jn. 15, 1Jn 1:5-7)
• No one is perfect, but Jesus Christ. (2Cor 5:21, Heb 4:15)
• Prayer is foundational to everything else. (Phil 4:6-7)
• Honesty is always the best policy. (Prov 14:5, Lk 8:15, Eph 4:25, Col 3:9)
• Trust is earned, not given. (Ps 25:2, Ps 111:7, Ps 115:9, Ps 118: 8-9)
• Trust precedes intimacy. (Jn 15:4)
• Love is the most powerful force in the universe. (1Cor 13)
• Relationships are where real life happens. (1Jn 3:10-12)
• Good relationships take time to develop and require two-way effort. (Jn 15:4, Jesus relationship w/ Peter)
• Humility and integrity are the keys to true authenticity. (Rom 5:3-5, 2Cor 4:7-9)
• Humility and character come through suffering. (Rom 5: 3-5, 2Cor 4:7-9)
• Compassion and trust are the keys to a good relationship. (Jn 21:15-19)
• Community is built through loyal friendship. (Ecl 4:9-12, Matt 18:15-17, Jn 6:66-68)

Core Values:

• Authenticity: To let the light of my true identity in Christ in show through with every person I interact with in all situations I find myself in. (Prov. 11:3, Eph 2:10, Tit. 2:6-8).
• Compassion: To see and care for others in a Christ-like manner. (Isaiah 54:7-8, Matt. 9:36, Matt. 25:31-46, Lk. 15:11-31, 1Pet 3:9).
• Growth: I am not the same person I was yesterday and am daily being formed into Christ’s likeness by the power of His Holy Spirit at work in my heart. (Rom 5:1-5, 2Cor 4:7-9, 16-18).
• Faithfulness: To stay true to my friends and my convictions. (Josh. 24:14, Matt 5:33-37, Eph. 4:1-16, 2Pet 1:5-9).
• Community: To live in true fellowship with my fellow Christians and non-Christians by caring for them as Christ does and receiving their care as a manifestation of God’s love to me. (Ecc 4:9-12, Matt 18:15-17, John 13:34-35, John 17:20-26).

Spiritual Gifts:

I intend to use my spiritual gifts to further God’s redemptive purposes in alignment with His leading in my life. These gifts will be cultivated and matured as I exercise them faithfully through service opportunities provided by Him. These gifts include Mercy, Shepherd, Knowledge, Teaching, and Exhortation.

Natural Strengths:

• Empathy – I sense the feelings of others by imagining myself in their lives or other situations.
• Connectedness – I have faith in the links between all things; there are few coincidences and almost every event has a reason.
• Individualization – I am intrigued with the unique qualities of each person. I have a gift for figuring out how people who are different can work together productively.
• Developer – I recognize and seek to develop the potential in others. I can spot the signs of each small improvement and derive satisfaction from these improvements.
• Belief – I have certain core values that are unchanging. Out of these values emerges a defined purpose for my life.

Personality Temperament: INFP - introversion (I), intuitive (N), feeling (F), perceiving (P)

I am idealistic, loyal to my values and to people who are important to me. I want an external life that is congruent with my values. I am curious, quick to see possibilities, and I can be a catalyst for implementing ideas. I seek to understand people and to help them fulfill their potential. I am adaptable, flexible, and accepting unless a value is threatened.

Leadership Style: primary - partner; secondary – coach; I work best coming alongside others and working together to reach goals and objectives. I also enjoy coaching others so that they realize they can do more than they think.

Aptitudes: I possess the innate abilities of listening, observation, analysis, and creativity.

Acquired Skills: I have acquired competency in counseling, writing, singing, and story telling.

ULTIMATE CONTRIBUTION

I realize that I am still growing and being developed as a man of God, so my vision of what God is calling me to accomplish is still very much in process. As I look towards the future and reflect about what I feel God desires me to do with my life, I see people working together in mutually beneficial partnerships, helping each other to growing Christ. This was made possible through people seeing how I partnered with others in their spiritual development and feeling led to do likewise. In a similar way, I envision churches partnering with each other to help each other grow into the churches God designed them to be. I see people encouraging each other to focus on and grow in their strengths, while also watching out for when their weakness become their downfall. As a platform for all of this, I see a foundation called Lazarus Developments that works to partner with individuals and churches to empower them financially, spiritually and any other way they feel led to in order to help their partners grow in Christ. Resources are not just given away, they are given to promote the development of God’s kingdom here on earth.

Meaning Words (4/10/09)

Pondering the new developments in my life and pursuing God’s best reminds me of a few of my older poems. For some of you, this may be a relief, as I realize I have been recycling favorite poems a lot this year. For others who wish to read over those treasures, feel free to look up the archives here

Unnamed
I do not claim to be a wise man
Just a student of the Word
And I listen to what He tells me.
It’s more than I can grasp.

Ohhh, Lord, Your knowledge is great,
Your wisdom, unlimited.
You teach me Your Word.
And I am so glad.

It’s You that I run to,
When I don’t understand.
You show to Your knowledge
And now I understand.

But yet, I still don’t comprehend,
This knowledge that you show!
Ohh, Lord, it’s only by your grace,
That I can understand.

When I was a little child,
I asked to learn
Of this world
That I now know.
But I also know,
He’s not done with me yet

There is a White
There is a white for this black of ours.
It will show itself in its hour,
But we who hold it in our hearts,
No ray of dark can penetrate our parts.

But what of this light?
What use is it, if it cannot shine bright!
Too often we turn away its source.
We take out our swords,
Made by the hand of Satan,
And slash it into oblivion.

But this light cannot die.
It cannot be swept away.
There are those who have claimed it
And the light lives on in them.

The light has a place in all of our hearts.
Every single one must play its part.
Through them this world will change.
Through them it will exchange
Its darkness for the EVERLASTING LIGHT!

A-men

You Desire?

The jailer called for lights, rushed in and fell trembling before Paul and Silas. 30 He then brought them out and asked, “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?”

They replied, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved —you and your household.”

-Acts 16:29-31

Just believe and you will be saved.
Yet even the demons believe in Christ and they certainly will not be saved
So what is it that You require?
What is it that you desire?
A heart undivided full of fire?
Will that be enough to inspire?

No, my spirit says, You want more
More than a life filled with good works
More than all the money I can earn
More than my first born son
So much more than I can ever give
And yet the answer is simple

You do not want my heart
You do not want my works
You do not want my family
All you really want is me
All of me

Thank you to each of you who have read this far and continue to follow my life and journey with God. It is my prayer that you will find these musings encouraging and that your faith in Christ will be built up through hearing if God’s work in me. We are all His masterpieces, and the world has yet to see what we and, indeed, God’s whole church is fully capable of through Christ our Lord.

Sharing My Life (8/10/09): God's Best?

The other night I was at Appleby’s fellowshipping with some of my fellow singles from Open Door and I overheard some of the women talking about “not settling for anything less than God’s best.” From the rest of the conversation I heard, I could tell they were talking about their love lives. It got me reflecting about what it would mean to pursue God’s best in every area of our life. I think this query actually involves two questions: What is God’s best and how are we pursuing it? From a human perspective, God’s best might mean finding the perfect spouse, job, house or whatever takes priority in our lives. Yet is that really God’s best? Israel had an idea about what God’s best for them would be. They envisioned their messiah to be a conquering hero, a second coming of David, who would over through Rome and reign as king over Israel. However, God had a different idea. Instead of a conquering hero, He sent a humble carpenter. Jesus was not interested in overthrowing the Roman empire, He was interested in overthrowing the power of sin and the kingdoms we allow it to create in our lives and world. So, God’s best for us is far different than our perception of what would be best for us.

If that’s true, what does it mean to pursue God’s best? Here to, I think we are in for a bit of a surprise. Often when I think about finding the perfect wife, I picture a beautiful woman who is passionate about her relationship with God and cares for His people as I do, yet God may have someone else in mind, or He may be calling me to a live of singleness, like Paul. Though I do hope it’s not the later ;-) God may bring someone into my life who doesn’t fit my ideal of a future wife, yet through bringing her into relationship with me and I with her, it becomes clear that we are meant to be together. If this is the case, I think pursuing God’s best begins with a humble prayer and an open heart. We pray that we will be able to recognize God’s leading in our lives and be obedient in following Him

Life Update (8/10/09): New Developments

Much has happened since last I wrote you all. For one, I am currently finishing up my first course at Capella University. It was a Survey in Human Development and it looks like I have done well so far, all A’s on my assignments and discussions. Going to school online has taken a bit of getting used to. All interaction between students and the professor happens online through Capella’s Blackboard. Lectures and student interaction happens through Discussion Board posts and replies. All assignments are handed in via attachment. While I appreciate the flexibility that online education offers me, I do miss the personal interaction between my professor and my fellow students. We will see how things shape up over the next few months as I get into further courses with them.

In addition, there’s been a bit of an unexpected change in my work with Accessible Space, Inc. Towards the end of July, I got a letter from the Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV) informing me that I had amassed 5 traffic violations over the past 2 years and that, accordingly, my Driver’s License would be suspended for the next month. I informed my supervisor of this news and after consulting with others on staff; she told me that my driving privileges with the company would also now be suspended, meaning that I would no longer be allowed to drive clients around. I did get a work permit that allowed me to drive to client’s residences and work with them there. As a result, I ended up having to hand the majority of my clients over to another worker and take on some shifts as a Personal Care Attendant. The upside of this is that it affords me more time to do course work for Capella University.

One last new development; a month or so ago, I completed Greg Bourgond’s Focus of a Warrior spiritual development course and will soon be posting my Personal Life Mandate, which that course helped me complete. During that course, Greg mentioned that he would be doing several workshops in Romania towards the end of this month and invited the men to come along. I accepted the invitation and will be heading there on August 22, 2009 to return on August 31, 2009. My folks will be meeting me at the airport when I return and they will be spending September visiting with me here in Minnesota. Your prayers regarding all of this are always greatly appreciated!

Meaningful Words (6/21/09)

With the demands of school, work, friends and all the other issues in my life, I definitely need to abide in Christ to gain His peace amidst it all. In that vein, here are a few poems I have written about finding peace in Him:

Lord, I Would Die for You

*If it would mean the salvation

Of one more sinner

Lord, I’d die for you.

For I cried the servant’s tears

It feels like I’ve served for a thousand years

And yet still the joy fulfills me.

But sometimes in the dark

You know I feel so afraid

Afraid to tell them of You

It seems easier to die.

*

I try to follow Your Word

But at times to do so seems almost absurd.

Lord, I want to do Your will.

But instead I just lie still.

And feel the warm embrace of Your love

*

*2I want to be a sacrifice

Lord, take all of me.

I want to be a sacrifice.

Lord, take all of me.

All of me.

All my selfish fear

Let Your precious blood wash away each tear

All my evil sin

Cleanse me from within

Till nothing remains

And there are no more stains

But all that is left is Your love.

And Your Holy Spirit in me as a dove.

**2

The Silence

A cloud covers the joy of my life

The flame in my heart feels the cold wind of depression

No one seems to notice, no one seems to care.

The pain grows deep making its impression.

Yet this I know for sure,

While the clouds of darkness roll in

And my eyes with tears start to fill

My Lord, my God and my Redeemer loves me still!

Though His face seems turned away

I know His eyes will never stray.

Though His Presence is no longer felt

I know my tears His heart will melt.

I end, You begin

God, I’m tired, I’m through, I can’t do anymore

Since when did this life become such a chore?

My body is weary, my spirits are low

Why does it seem what I reap is far from what I sow?

Everything in me says go on and die

Yet deep inside me, there You still lie.

You say, it’s good I’m tired, it’s good I’m through, It’s good I can’t do anymore.

Now the real work begins, now I can really soar.

If I am at my end, that means I must turn to You again

Let Your Spirit refresh me, and Your blood wash me clean

For when I end, then You truly do begin

Thank you for joining me once again as I share with you my life and journey with God. I pray you are encouraged by what you read here. Please let me know of any way that I keep you in prayer this month and others. Keep me in prayer also. I may sound like I know it all ;-) Really, I’m just as in need of prayer as any other. Thank you again for reading and praying. I hope all is well with each of you. God bless!

Sharing My Life (6/21/09): Trusting in God

About a month or so ago, my Dad asked me what I thought Jesus would say to this current world. How would He call this current generation to seek Him? Would He tell them of their sin and that they need to pursue righteousness? What do sin and righteousness look like these days? In my experience, Jesus approaches people based on their needs. While I cannot speak for everyone in this world, I can say how this has worked in my own life.

At this point in my life, one of my most pressing needs is peace. Busyness plagues our society in so many ways. I now have school, work, social life, recovery and other things all vying for my attention and in the midst of it all I desire to have a vibrant relationship with God. Each thing in my life requires my full attention to attend to it well, yet how do I balance it all. The truth is I cannot; nor was I ever meant to. I am convinced that God constantly sends more our way than we can handle. He does this not to overwhelm and punish us, but to drive us to Him. It is only within my relationship with God that I can ever hope to manage the beautiful mess of my life. He is the One ultimately in control anyway, so it only stands to reason that if I to have balance in my life, I need to abide in Him. Learning to abide in Him daily. There in lies my peace!

Life Update (6/21/09): Back to School

Following my application denial from Bethel Seminary’s MFT program, I decided to pursue my options elsewhere. In looking at various degree programs and state licensure requirements. I discovered that while getting a graduate certificate would allow me to get licensed here in Minnesota. However, if I ever wanted to practice anywhere else, like Florida to be closer to my folks, I would need still further training. What I really needed to do was to go ahead and get a second Master’s in Counseling. It was even better the school was accredited by the Council for Accreditation of Counseling and Related Educational Programs (CACREP) and had a program that could fit my schedule as an ILS Worker. I found all of that with Capella University’s Master of Science in Mental Health Counseling. Capella is an online university that is fully accredited by CACREP and the Higher Learning Commission. Currently I am enrolled in Survey of Research in Human Development and classes have been in session for a couple weeks now. So far, it’s going all right.

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For all those among my readers who are or know anybody in our US Armed Forces. You are appreciated and prayed for!

Meaning Words (4/26/09)

Last night I went to a Jars of Clay concert with a friend and being there with her listening to this band that’s been around now for close to 15 years made me think of a few of their songs that remind me of seeking God, as well as one of my own poems:

Don’t Stop
You told them that I hung the moon
It was a lonely sliver hanging from the sky
I said I put it there for you
I didn’t think that it would make you cry

Don’t stop, don’t stop for me now
Don’t stop, don’t stop for me now

My recurring dream of you
Starlight in your eyes and music everywhere
I am dancing close to you
There are no days or nights we’ve left behind

Don’t stop, don’t stop for me now
Don’t stop, don’t stop for me now
When you’re running, you’re running far away
And you don’t know what to do with all my love
Don’t stop for me now

Why is it so hard to say that you need me
The way that I need you

There are no days, there are no nights, we’ve left them all behind
And you can run so far that I won’t reach
There are no places I won’t find you

Don’t stop, don’t stop for me now
Don’t stop, don’t stop for me now
You keep running, yeah you’re running far away
When all I want to do is be with you my love
You can run so far, run so far, my love
By the light of the moon I will get to you somehow
So don’t stop for me now

-Jars of Clay, “Long Fall Back to Earth”

Heart
I let it get dark, so you'll see the stars
They'll say we're in love, we probably are
No mountains to climb, papers to sign
Offer your heart, I've given you mine

One flag left to burn, one country to fall
One soul to pour out, one love to catch all
No walls to defend, wars to align
Give me your heart, you already have mine
No mountains to climb, papers to sign
Offer your heart, I've given you mine

No mountains to climb, papers to sign
Offer your heart, I've given you mine
No walls to defend, wars to align
Give me your heart, you already have mine
Give me your heart, you already have mine
Offer your heart, I've given you mine

-Jars of Clay, “Long Back Fall to Earth

Worlds Apart
I am the only one to blame for this
Somehow it all ends up the same
Soaring on the wings of selfish pride
I flew too high and like Icarus I collide
With a world I try so hard to leave behind
To rid myself of all but love
to give and die

To turn away and not become
Another nail to pierce the skin of one who loves
more deeply than the oceans,
more abundant than the tears
Of a world embracing every heartache

Can I be the one to sacrifice
Or grip the spear and watch the blood and water flow

To love you - take my world apart
To need you - I am on my knees
To love you - take my world apart
To need you - broken on my knees

All said and done I stand alone
Amongst remains of a life I should not own
It takes all I am to believe
In the mercy that covers me

Did you really have to die for me?
All I am for all you are
Because what I need and what I believe are worlds apart

[Additional lyrics:]

I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
and wipe away the crimson stains
and dull the nails that still remain
More and more I need you now,
I owe you more each passing hour
the battle between grace and pride
I gave up not so long ago
So steal my heart and take the pain
and wash the feet and cleanse my pride
take the selfish, take the weak,
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
the sin-soaked heart and make it yours
take my world all apart
take it now, take it now
and serve the ones that I despise
speak the words I can't deny
watch the world I used to love
fall to dust and thrown away
I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
so wipe away the crimson stains
and dull the nails that still remain
so steal my heart and take the pain
take the selfish, take the weak
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
take my world apart, take my world apart
I pray, I pray, I pray
take my world apart

-Jars of Clay, “Jars of Clay”

Into the Woods
I saw you when you ran into the woods,
For I was there with you,
I was the One you were running away from,
Yet I was the One you were running to,
Which was I to you?
Which were you to Me?

How I long for you to cling to Me as you used to,
To feel your heart beat with mine,
To share your thoughts and know your mind,
Yet you have drifted far away and are ever still running,
Farther and farther you roam,
It seems almost as if you are at home,
There in the wilderness,
Off in the distance.

Come home to Me, My love,
The journey is really not that long,
If you would but turn around,
Lift up your eyes and see,
There you would find me,
My gentle hands will wipe away your every tear,
The blood from My wounds will cleanse your every sin.

Cleansing and reaching ever deeper within,
Bring your broken hearts and shattered dreams
Lay them at My nail-pierced feet
For when you cried, I cried with you,
When you ran, I was there at your side,
When you hid there in the dark,
I was there as well.

I am with you always,
Not as a presence to be feared
But as One who knows you through and through,
One who has seen you at your worst and at your best
I know you, I love you, and I am for you.

-Michel Jon Willard

As I reflect back over the past months, years and all that God has brought me through and has taught me, I find myself humbled and thankful for Him and His continuing work in and through my life. Even more, I find myself grateful for each of you and the impact that you have made in me and that God has made in my life through you. The words of Paul in his letter to the church in Philippi once again come to mind concerning each of you: “I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” (Philippians 1:3-6).