• Life Update
Well, another month has passed and not much has changed in my present chaplaincy. I continue to meet with a number of veterans here at the V.A. to help them through various crises and still find the need to continually lean on the support I gain from my faith in God, the care of my friends and the love of my family. One thing that has been in the process of change is my clarity about the process of becoming a fully certified chaplain. No, contrary to popular belief, I am not that now ;-) My current chaplaincy is a Residency, which is a fancy way of saying it's an internship. Becoming a full chaplain a bit more involved that just gradating from Seminary and becoming a licensed minister. According to what I've found out, in addition to what I will have by then end of this Residency, the Association of Professional Chaplains requires both ordination and official endorsement by my denomination, the Baptist General Conference (BGC) plus one year of work as a chaplain after my Residency. In order to endorse me for chaplaincy, the BGC requires two years of ministry experience, in addition to my license and M.Div. In order to fulfill these requirements, I have found out that my current Residency will count for one year and a second should take care of that. In terms of ordination, that is the responsibility of the local church within the BGC and I am currently looking for a church able and willing to ordain me. So, that's where things stand presently!
• Sharing My Journey: Waiting on God
As I have been sifting through all this in prayer and reflecting with God where He desires to take me in this life, I find myself reminded of what we called in theology class the Kingdom Paradox. It's that idea of how the Kingdom of God as ushered in by the work of Jesus Christ on the cross is both here now and in the future. Throughout the Gospels, Jesus refers to His Kingdom as both a present (Mk. 9:1) and future (Mk. 14:25) reality. I could cite more passages, but this is a reflective newsletter, not a theological dissertation ;-) Anyway, I think you get the idea. In my situation though, I feel it as a tension between the promises of God I see fulfilled in the past and those I know, in faith, will be fulfilled in the future. I know God is faithful, because I have seen His movement throughout my life up to this point (Deut. 7:9), and I trust God will be faithful for I know His promises for my future (Jer. 29: 11). Sometimes, I just find it hard living in the present space between, but I guess that's what faith is all about, right? As the author of Hebrews so often reminds us, "What is faith? It is the confident assurance that what we hope for is going to happen. It is the evidence of things we cannot yet see." (Heb. 11:1).
Here are a few of the poems that have been weaving through my heart as I reflect back on this month past:
The Silence
A cloud covers the joy of my life
The flame in my heart feels the cold wind of depression
No one seems to notice, no one seems to care.
The pain grows deep making its impression.
Yet this I know for sure,
While the clouds of darkness roll in
And my eyes with tears start to fill
My Lord, my God and my Redeemer loves me still!
Though His face seems turned away
I know His eyes will never stray.
Though His Presence is no longer felt
I know my tears His heart will melt.
Born Cracked
Born into the world a cracked vessel needing to be filled
The world she offers many things to fill it
Yet I always come back wanting more
Each thing feels right at first
But in time they all turn up lacking
Back in the garden we knew what it was to be filled
Back in the garden we knew what it was to be loved
Back in the garden we knew what it was to be accepted
Dear God why did we ever turn away from You the True Source
Cursed to walk this world abandoned, though we are never alone
You pursue us day and night yet still we run
Unable to turn, unable to be filled
Until by grace You extend the hand
And turn us around in Your Embrace
The cross makes this possible
The blood of Jesus fills our cracked vessel
His Blood seals the crack
In Him we are filled
In Him we are loved
In Him we are accepted
Though I know of His Love for me
Though I have soaked in the blood
Still my vessel leaks
Many are the times I know not filling
Many are the times I know not love
Many are the times I know not acceptance
Why is this the case?
Dear God, extend Your Hand
Dear God, send down Your Grace
Turn me around full in Your Embrace.
When Sorrow Abounds
When sorrow abounds
Let Your Love surround us
When the cry of our broken hearts rings from the depths
Incline Your ear, O Lord, and listen to our breaths
You are Jesus, Bearer of our grief
You are our Savior, our only relief
You are God, the Father of all comfort
In this our time of need, be not our last resort
You are the Holy Spirit, Who dwells in our heart
From Your life may we never depart
We are Your children, the sheep of Your fold
Come, O God, fall upon us manifold
We need Your saving grace
Enfold us Father in Your embrace
We need Your Truth from Your Word
Come, Spirit, and penetrate us with Your sword
In You we find life
And solace for our strife
In You we find forgiveness
And strength in our weakness
And though Your gift costs us nothing,
We can never be the same.
For everything changes in the presence of Your Name
You are love and life enfleshed
In You our hearts will never be famished
In You is everything we need
In our hearts, come, plant Your seed
Let Your Spirit dwell within us
Be our heart and soul focus
We are Your children, the sheep of Your hand
On You let us with everything depend.
The flame in my heart feels the cold wind of depression
No one seems to notice, no one seems to care.
The pain grows deep making its impression.
Yet this I know for sure,
While the clouds of darkness roll in
And my eyes with tears start to fill
My Lord, my God and my Redeemer loves me still!
Though His face seems turned away
I know His eyes will never stray.
Though His Presence is no longer felt
I know my tears His heart will melt.
Born Cracked
Born into the world a cracked vessel needing to be filled
The world she offers many things to fill it
Yet I always come back wanting more
Each thing feels right at first
But in time they all turn up lacking
Back in the garden we knew what it was to be filled
Back in the garden we knew what it was to be loved
Back in the garden we knew what it was to be accepted
Dear God why did we ever turn away from You the True Source
Cursed to walk this world abandoned, though we are never alone
You pursue us day and night yet still we run
Unable to turn, unable to be filled
Until by grace You extend the hand
And turn us around in Your Embrace
The cross makes this possible
The blood of Jesus fills our cracked vessel
His Blood seals the crack
In Him we are filled
In Him we are loved
In Him we are accepted
Though I know of His Love for me
Though I have soaked in the blood
Still my vessel leaks
Many are the times I know not filling
Many are the times I know not love
Many are the times I know not acceptance
Why is this the case?
Dear God, extend Your Hand
Dear God, send down Your Grace
Turn me around full in Your Embrace.
When Sorrow Abounds
When sorrow abounds
Let Your Love surround us
When the cry of our broken hearts rings from the depths
Incline Your ear, O Lord, and listen to our breaths
You are Jesus, Bearer of our grief
You are our Savior, our only relief
You are God, the Father of all comfort
In this our time of need, be not our last resort
You are the Holy Spirit, Who dwells in our heart
From Your life may we never depart
We are Your children, the sheep of Your fold
Come, O God, fall upon us manifold
We need Your saving grace
Enfold us Father in Your embrace
We need Your Truth from Your Word
Come, Spirit, and penetrate us with Your sword
In You we find life
And solace for our strife
In You we find forgiveness
And strength in our weakness
And though Your gift costs us nothing,
We can never be the same.
For everything changes in the presence of Your Name
You are love and life enfleshed
In You our hearts will never be famished
In You is everything we need
In our hearts, come, plant Your seed
Let Your Spirit dwell within us
Be our heart and soul focus
We are Your children, the sheep of Your hand
On You let us with everything depend.
That's all folks! Another month gone by! Keep me in your prayers and always and I'll keep you in mine. The next weekends I'll be down in St. Paul are as follows: April 15th-17th and May 13th-15th. If you're in the area and want to hang out during that time, just let me know. Thanks! I hope you are all well. And as Tiny Tim once said, "God bless us, everyone!"
